Divine Apostasy Book 11 - Chapter 29 (Patreon)

Chapter 29

“It’s my Archangel body,” Ruin said. “Suppression isn’t the right word. It’s more like my body is in the way. Like I’m at the bottom of an ocean trying to communicate with someone in the sky. It takes far more energy because of all the water around me.”

Sivart spoke up. “It’s interference. That’s why you’re only noticing it now. Every time you advance a Fortification level the energy in your cells becomes more dense, increasing the interference.”

Ruin immediately knew Sivart’s statement was correct. The answer resonated with Ruin, and it highlighted a related problem that certainly contributed.

“You’re right,” Ruin said. “And I think this Saraph body only makes it worse. The Destruction Realm broke Harmony after all.”

“I’m not sure about that,” Uruziel said softly, as if thinking out loud. “This Saraph body might actually fix Harmony.”

“What?” Ruin replied unable to hide his surprise.

Uruziel bit her lip. “Give me a moment to organize my thoughts.” After ten seconds she continued. “Did you wonder why the Destruction Realm broke Harmony?”

“It was the environment,” Ruin replied. “It was so different I couldn’t make sense of it, making balance impossible.”

“I think that is partially right,” Uruziel said, “but I believe it goes deeper than just the environment. If it was just your surroundings, I think you would have figured it out and fixed Harmony.”

“What else could it be?”

Uruziel pointed at Ruin. “You.”

Ruin laughed in confusion. “Doesn’t that prove my point though. This body will only make it harder to reclaim my balance and return Harmony to me.”

“Harmony disappeared before you arrived in this Saraph body. Why do you think reclaiming your human body now will make fixing Harmony easier?”

“That’s a good point,” Ruin said thoughtfully. “I guess because I know the problem is related to balance, I figured returning to my balanced form could help. Well, not balanced to your point, but I believe my human body brought me closer to balance than this strange form.”

“What if your loss of Harmony in this Realm, from the beginning, was related to your attitude, not your body.”

Ruin processed those words.

Uruziel continued. “The Destruction Realm is so different than the Material Realm, it’s normal that you viewed yourself as an outsider, a visitor. You never felt like you belonged here, and we all know how critical feeling connected to the environment is for Harmony to work.”

Ruin swayed on his feet as the truth of Uruziel’s words struck him. “How did I not see that?” Ruin whispered. “It’s so obvious in hindsight.”

Overlord raised his hand. “Uh, I still don’t understand.”

Ruin strode forward and hugged Uruziel. He locked eyes with her. “Thank you.”

Uruziel blushed.

“Hey, hands off my—” Overlord said jokingly, before stopping himself suddenly.

Ruin raised his eyebrows. “My what?”

Overlord blushed as well and then hurriedly waved his hand. “Come on, quit stalling, explain how Uruziel is so much smarter than you.”

“Don’t think I’m going to let that comment go,” Ruin warned with a smile. Then he answered Overlord’s question. “You know Harmony works because my inner world is balanced with the obligation I feel to the outer world. But Uruziel cast a light on an obvious truth. I don’t feel that same obligation to the Destruction Realm. I don’t care about it at all. It also explains why I can’t use Harmony in the Material Realm right now. That’s because I don’t believe I’m myself in this Saraph body.”

Deryssa frowned and opened her mouth to argue but stopped herself.

Ruin frowned, unable to hide his misery. “I just realized that if I ever want Harmony to work in the Destruction Realm, I need to accept this body and my place in the Destruction Realm. Worse, I need to accept responsibility for an obligation large enough to balance this inner world. Not only should that fix Harmony here, but if I accept this body, it should also allow me to use Harmony in the Material Realm again.”

No one responded.

Deryssa spoke quietly. “I don’t understand any of this talk of Harmony, but I feel your sadness about your body. Why? Your blood traces back to the very origin of the Destruction Realm. A Realm far more powerful than your Material one. Saraph’s are considered the perfect form. Better in every way compared to your weak human body. It confuses me why anyone would be sad to have gained such a gift. You stand at the peak of the Destruction Realm.”

Ruin understood Deryssa’s points, and he believed her, but it didn’t change how he felt. He couldn’t identify himself in any way other than human. If he didn’t figure out how, Harmony—his most powerful weapon—would be lost forever in the Destruction Realm. And if he couldn’t get his human form back, it meant Harmony was lost in the Material Realm as well.

What if Ruin’s only way to get his human form back required Harmony? It would mean he was doomed to not only be trapped in this body forever, but he’d lose Harmony for good.

Trying to stay positive, Ruin gave a short bow to Deryssa. “I didn’t mean to offend you or Saraphs in general. This change just happened and I’m still adjusting.”

Deryssa returned the bow, her confusion now holding some sympathy.

Ruin recalled the overwhelming physical power of the Destruction Emperor. How even the attacks that missed Ruin affected his mental presence.

“I think my body acts like a type of armor,” Ruin said, “because looking back at that fight, despite going nuts, I was naked and vulnerable against those physical attacks.

“Until I learn how to protect my consciousness when I project it like that, I need to stay here in my mind where I have tons of defenses. Even if that makes my mental attacks much weaker.”

Uruziel nodded approvingly.

Deryssa turned and studied the sky. She spoke into the blackness, but Ruin heard her just fine. “It’s hard for me to accept that I’m in your mind. This is a feat no one in the Destruction Realm could replicate. It provides a glimmer of hope. You’re the Last Emperor, and that will bring many to your cause. Those out of favor with the current Emperor might also join you once you prove your strength. They will look to change their fate. It might be enough. A nucleus to build an army and defend ourselves from the current Emperor.”

Instead of immediately dismissing the idea, Ruin considered her words even though they made him uncomfortable. Accepting the obligation presented by the Remembrance Prophecy could provide the easiest path to accepting himself as Ruin Val’dor. And as Uruziel had reminded him, acceptance would prove critical to regaining Harmony.

Deryssa pointed into the sky. “What are those lights?”

Ruin didn’t bother looking up, he knew what Deryssa had noticed. He’d filled the darkness with those pinpricks of light to make this place more natural.

“Decoration,” Ruin said. “In the Material Realm we see faint light from distant stars, and I replicated that here.”

Movement caught Ruin’s attention, and he turned to find Overlord, Sivart, and Uruziel looking between each other.

“What?” Ruin asked.

“We didn’t want to say anything until we’d confirmed it, but there are plenty of Narrators with an interest in the heavens, and they immediately began studying those ‘decorations.’” Overlord looked at Uruziel and Sivart again, as if hoping one of them would continue.

When no spoke up, Overlord locked eyes with Ruin, and finished his explanation. “Many don’t believe they’re fake. The stars. They appear real to telescopes and most have planetary systems around them.”

Ruin glanced at the sky. “That’s impossible.”

“Maybe,” Overlord said. “It’s possible they’re perfect illusions. A few Narrators have ventured into the darkness to find out.”

“Are you kidding? Aren’t they afraid of dying? What’s the farthest anyone has gone? What if there’s some limit?”

Sivart shrugged. “That’s the problem with free will, sometimes growing as a person means taking chances and satisfying curiosity. Despite the consequences.”

Ruin narrowed his eyes. “Is that a dig at me?”

Sivart tried to hide a smile.

Ruin returned his attention to the stars and whispered to himself. “They can’t be real.”

In every direction the black void served as the backdrop to thousands, maybe millions, of stars. If all those stars had planets what did that mean? Had Ruin created a galaxy inside his own mind? The scope of something like that overloaded his thoughts and he couldn’t speak.

“What’s that?” Deryssa asked, still staring out over the platform. She pointed to a bright ball the size of a fist that had come into view and currently arced through the darkness.

A few moments ago, Ruin had wanted to spare Deryssa the mental shock of discovering that twelve planets orbited them. Planets full of Narrators turned people. Now, he found himself stunned into silence at the possible scope of his own mind.

Uruziel, seeing Ruin’s shocked expression, answered Deryssa’s question. “It’s Iridis, one of many planets here, and it’s home to several thousand people.”

Deryssa swayed on her feet and slowly turned to stare at Ruin in shock.

The truth was, Iridis might not be one of a handful of planets, but one of millions.