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Welcome to HELL (Patreon)

Published:
2025-01-30 08:56:29
Imported:
2025-01

Content

If you're reading this, it's far too late. You have been poisoned and only Pat has the antidote. He's allergic to shrimp and it's either him or you. What are you going to do?

Comments

JuiceeJae

I will uncover the mound of decaying shrimp I hid in the soles of my boots and put them inside of his pillow.

rumore

arm myself with the power of shrimp like aqua lad in that one episode of teen titans go charge him and right at the last moment get them to stop catch him off guard and take the antidote

ManRey

I reveal my shrimp appendages to him that I've been hiding under my Y2k-style Toy Story shirt this whole time, proving to him that he's actually not that allergic after journeying on this quest together. I shoot him for lying

Carine

I’m also allergic to shrimp so I guess we’re both going down

nessawowie

See I like pat's music too much. I'd take the L 😔

Ris 🐝

this implies i have an instinct to survive and not hyperventilate to death before anything else. (i am a firm believer of being the first to die in any situation)

Bianka Montalvo

I have no will to live. It’s all for him.

Jacob o

Give him shrimp take the anitode

Bodge

We wrestle for it. The touches become lingering, the eye contact - intense. We both know what we need, it doesn't need to be said... As the anaphylaxis overwhelms us, our bloated bodies meld into a cronenbergesque monstrosity. Our shattered minds merge into a single consciousness that only craves more shellfish - fuel for the fire in this process that can't stop, that we won't allow to stop. The townspeople are horrified - they gather their torches and pitchforks and pursue us to the bubba gump. 'diablo, diablo!' they cry. They barricade the only entrance - the building doesn't meet fire code regulations. As the flames take hold, we contentedly wipe our singed tendrils over our bib - the baja ceviche was divine

Mickeynotmousey

Well shit, guess I’m getting poisoned- hope it goes slow so I can watch more MEAN TIME

emilycdey

recite the shrimp monologue from shark tale and wait for its shrimpiness to take effect on patthew

bigbootyjudy

Fall on my sword and pass away. Pat's gotta give us more melodies

Ephrame Amanuel

I bet Jared would put out a fire rat park album after pat dies…