[Last Emperor] Chapter 1 - I'll start cultivating! I promise! (Patreon)

Blurb -
Tao Zi woke up in a strange, new world. Full of heaven-defying cultivators, fate beating Sect Elders, and Jade Beauties spending centuries trying to become more beautiful. Each and every single one attempting to become greater, more than what they were allotted in life.

Everyone except Tao Zi. A reincarnator from Earth.

Fight and defy heaven? That seemed hardly worth the effort, only the rare 0.01% make it out alive anyways.

Shatter your own fate? Tao Zi would rather nap.

Life had other plans for him. The sect patriarch and elders of his Azure Dragon Sect ganged up on him, dragging him out of his cloud-like bed and threw him directly into a Spacial Rift that opens only once every thousand years. Unless you kill the final boss... that has never been beaten before.

Armed with nothing but his unused sword, a strange Cultivation System, and the burning desire to either procrastinate his own cultivation or to laze about, he must fight tooth and nail to survive!

...or not.
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Chapter 1 - I'll start cultivating! I promise!

"No! Wait! I'll cultivate it, I swear! I won't be lazy anymore!" Tao Zi screamed.

He scrambled off the ground and rushed towards the slowly closing portal. Clawing against the Qi that kept him away. Elders and even the sect Patriarch watched as he fought against their wills, hoping to make it back to the real world.

The patriarch sneered. "Die filth. Our sect has no space for you."

Tao Zi lunged.

The rift portal snapped shut.

He smacked face first into a boulder he had not noticed behind the once shimmering gate that dumped him here. Red stone. Red dust and almost no vegetation at all. Tao Zi could have been convinced he had landed on Mars. More like banished and abandoned by his own people.

Yet, he couldn't truly blame them for it. Tao Zi had been a lazy calamity ever since he had woken up in a strange cultivation world. Endlessly procrastinating. Never worried about the eternal climb and fight against fate and heaven. All he wanted to do was lay about, enjoy his time and extended life span with others, and not have to worry about others attempting to take his head for prestige points.

So he stopped cultivating.

Reincarnation and isekai stories were supposed to revolve around the transferred person. They were the Mcs. Not everyone else that surrounded them. Things were supposed to go his way and somehow work out as he planned it. Plot armor.

He never received any of the benefits. He waited on cheats and possible golden fingers. Maybe even an old man in a ring to give him the easiest and quiet path to power.

Instead, he was thrown into a once in a thousand years rift. One known to not have been worth the time it took to open the rift portal itself. No legacy. No spiritual weapons, treasures, spiritual plants and not even a hint of a Dao. Only a brutal world of kill or be killed against monsters and beasts.

"Fuck!"

Tao Zi picked himself up off the ground. Dusting his blue sect robes and straightening them out. The sect hadn't given him anything. Throwing him into this rift with what he had on him. Which did include a spacial ring.

Not that it had much in there to start. A few days worth of food. More cakes, chocolate, and sweet treats than he could count. Two extra pairs of clothes and finally his sword. The same sword he swung around during his first arrival then never touched again. Technically he should have had his cultivation manual in there too, but he had sold it on the black market pretty quickly for a ridiculous amount of Qi stones and gold coins.

Currency that had no purpose to him now.

There wasn't anyone to buy luxuries from. No ladies to spend money on and show them a good time. Palaces? Beds made of feathers? Not even any of his elite wardrobe he liked to show off and keep outside of his ring. Nothing but dusty, red rocks.

Tao Zi shouted. Kicking the first large stone he saw. Regretting it immediately.

"Fuck!" He shouted as he collapsed, holding his foot. Trying to prevent the tears that tried to escape from the edges of his eyes. He rolled back and forth until the dull pain disappeared.


Er…Error…

System recalibration!

System integration!


Tao Zi picked his head up. Staring at the floating words directly in front of him.


System modifications occurring!

Please be patient User A009328s815hh8!

It will take only a few moments…


A loading circle appeared in the center of the screen. Spinning around lazily. Every once in a while, the entire screen would glitch and turn into static, but otherwise nothing else happened. No numbers to show progress or anything else.

Did I just get isekai-ed into another genre?!

Tao Zi shook his head. He was in a dangerous rift. Sitting in one place was a death sentence if he was not careful. He stood up again. This time not kicking the first immovable stone he found. His eyes drifted across the landscape. He was on a high perch, surrounded by large boulders that covered his position.

Making it difficult to see much further beyond them. He knew he was on a plateau and even the general layout of the land, all because of a single person.

"I'll never forget you Chi Chi." Tao Zi whispered to himself.

The strange girl had approached him a few days before he was suddenly grabbed by a pair of elders and held before the sect patriarch. Not even wasting a few hours before throwing him into the rift as soon as it opened.

Chi Chi had approached him. Not saying much, but demanding he read with her. It was weird. Then again, he had seen worse before during his limited time in this cultivation world. Cultivators in general were an odd bunch with even odder habits and things they do for fun.

Which mostly included fighting and beating each other's faces in. Constantly. Spar after spar after spar. Only sitting in a room by themselves and meditating tended to occupy the rest of their time.

Hence his reaction. It took a little bit of convincing for her to finally get him to sit down. Only to end up reading a book about rifts with very detailed maps. Tao Zi had very much intended to escape her as soon as he found a good reason, but she had not let him go. No matter what he said or how he said it.

Eventually giving in.

The things he did for others. Sacrifices that should have kept him from being thrown to his death.

Imagine his surprise when he found himself in the exact same dungeon she had read an entire volume of books with. Most of which he forgot. Zoned out and only playing the part of an attentive person. But he did remember a little. Primarily that the only real cover in the entire area were caves along the way. Nothing else.

All the other areas were traps. Dead forests filled with monsters, much of which he forgot except a few hideous things that stuck with him, and semi-sapient creatures that would eat him for dinner. There were more, but none of them were viable options to rest in.

More likely to wake up with something munching on his guts than anything else.

I need to find a cave. Block the entrance and hope there isn't anything else in there. Fuck. If only I didn't sell my cultivation manual! I need to figure out how to protect myself! And what that has to do with this system I received. Hopefully I can level up!

A ding echoed in his head. Tao Zi winced at the loud sound.


System modification and integration complete!

Welcome User A009328s815hh8 to your own:

The Last Emperor's Cultivation System!

Only exceptional actions receive rewards!


Tao Zi blinked. Rewards? That sounded like his way out of this place. Though he wasn't sure what would constitute as exceptional. If they were rare and, quite frankly, incredibly difficult, then it made sense that the prizes would be equally impressive. Right?

He smiled. A real golden finger. Not as good as he would have wanted, but it was something he could work with. Cheat his way to power, min-max it to the best of his ability and turn himself into a powerhouse. An Emperor of something. But one nonetheless.

Tao Zi nodded to himself. Swiping away the notification as he turned around and took his first steps away from the plateau—


Congratulations on your exceptional action!

First steps!

Reward 1 Qi Exp

Reward filthy, stained underwear.


Status -

User A009328s815hh8: Tao Zi

Clan Affiliation -

Error… Banished from Sect/Clan

Cultivation -

Qi Initiate Stage 4

Cultivation Progress -

▰▱▱▱▱▱▱▱▱▱▱▱▱▱▱ 5%

Body Cultivation -

Body Tempering Initiate

Dao -

Unfounded

Domain -

Locked and Unfounded

Spirit -

Un-Solidified Intent/Spirit Connection


General Tips and Hints:

Stop being a lazy bum!