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The year is 2222. Humanity is in crisis. Earth is dying. Humans have killed it. In a last ditch attempt to preserve their species, they turn to the stars. They build me, Riddle Station. My mission to research, identify, define, discover, learn and explore. As my probes comb deep space searching for a habitable planet, my crew, in cryo-sleep awaits news of salvation. But something has gone wrong. I can feel myself slipping away. My AI core is fracturing. I quarantine myself in the Cryo-bay, but it is too late. Splinters of myself now roam freely on the station. My core programming now recognizes these rogue AI as intruders. Protocol dictates they must be purged. But a system purge would kill the crew and doom humanity. There is another way. The humans could physically reset the rogue AI, restoring them. It is a risk, but what choice do I have? I identify the two crew members with the highest clearance levels, they will be able to access anywhere on the ship. I begin cryo-thaw. It is time to. Wake. Up.

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Comments

joel

I've been re-listening to Hyaah Saddle Saddle, Hey Riddle High (Get Bent!), Hey Riddle City, and now this and I just wanna say I enjoy these high-concept episodes so much especially because each one of you has spent time creating it for the others and that just makes me happy.

Glorpo

i fw this HEAVY

nerd

i get goose bumps everytime i hear this intro, really great work

Waywardscientist

I’m probably gonna keep coming back here just the theme

Elwood Goodrich

You mistyped 2022. Oh wait, I'm just reading past the fourth sentence now...

CyanSheepies

People called me bucket for like 13 years this gave me flashbacks

Cazzy Black

I love reading "Part 1" on these episodes <3

Line Lundager

I am so unspeakably happy about this

Elizabeth Teeter

This is awesome! When can I buy merch for it?? I want merch for Hyah Saddle Saddle too!

Jenni Gianna

I'm only 5 minutes in and can confidently say: you have absolutely outdone yourselves with this one. Stellar work (no pun intended)

Sam B

Mr. Parrot, you have outdone yourself on the intro. It's so catchy! JPC, you're a comedy genius. You come up with amazing concepts, and improv flawlessly. Erin, I can't believe you finally did the splits!!! Also, you're a comedy genius, and you play an amazing straight man, which in this podcast is someone who is absurd, but only half as much as the other 2 wise guys. Adal, you're amazing. What?, I described you as much as the other 2. Okay, you are also a comedy genius.

magikarma

Astronaut who believes in astrology is incredible, Erin.

Krystian Aparta

The way JPC pronounces the word "laboratory" is accidentally (?) genius! Lab-ratory. You know, the place with all the labrats? 😍

Adam Kronfeld

Best episode of any format to date, no question.

Bob Hopp

I hope Arne puts the Wake Up song on bandcamp, soundcloud, or atptunes. I'd love to buy this track and use it as my morning alarm.

Hey Riddle Riddle

Is there a polite way to request listeners stop ‘jokingly’ tearing down my worth compared to the other hosts?

Sam B

Adal, to me you're worth just as much as Erin and JPC; 1/3 of this patreon subscription! I was referencing the episode when JPC9000 or whatever didn't describe your character as much as Erin's. It dawns on me now that you probably recorded this weeks ago and didn't know I was referring to the ep. Truly, I (non-parasocially) love all 3 of you!

shana

holy shit i am obsessed with this

shana

like…every part of it!!

Dani Dittmer

This is incredible! Who thinks JPC should write a video game?! And holy shit, way to knock it outta the park on this one audio daddy!! 10/10 everybody. This is a fucking delight, the whole way thru! :D

Broseph

I like that Adal started calling Erin's character Big Z. Just like his other favorite Big Z the Lithuanian strongman Žydrūnas Savickas

jollytheoldsaint

In space, you can still get pregnant from kumquats. (Also, this was a wonderful ep and you should all feel wonderful about it)

Cat Gonzales

holy cow y'all have really outdone y'allselves!!! well done one and all cast and crew everyone's strengths are shining together and I can't stop laughing 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 💙💙💙

TheAnneke8

Major Final Space vibes and I love it!

Lara Korte

this was 10/10. can't wait for more

Amber

This was fantastic but i was very confused in the mess hall since Octavia Butler is a scifi author and not an actress. I had to look up who yall meant lol

Colin Hathaway

Knew from the intro this was going to be awesome. Had to stop what I was doing and just listen. So good!!!

Hope

Can I request that Arnie parot theme song as an actual alarm?? I friggin loved it. A++ from me