Chapter 20: This is simply… absurd! (Patreon)

"..."

Looking at the hooded cultists standing to her left, Pandora sighed and turned her head the other way.

"..."

Looking at the various strange animals standing to her right, Pandora sighed again and straightened her head back out.

"Lady Pandora, the meeting room is just ahead." The strange bird leading the way, careful not to look directly at Pandora, couldn't see the expression on her face, but could still hear the helplessness in her sigh.

[Lady Pandora really is a superior who looks out for her subordinates!]

And then it launched into a flight of fancy all its own...

"Thanks." Watching the strange bird suddenly drop to the ground and clutch its head, Pandora seemed to understand something. She simply offered her thanks and pushed open the door in front of her.

"Lady Pandora." Geuse, who had been pacing back and forth inside, finally let out a breath of relief when he saw her enter.

[This "meeting room" is really something...]

An exquisite crystal chandelier hung from the ceiling, along with a conference table of unknown make that was obviously a luxury item.

[Truly the work of a professional aesthete!]

And then there were... stone chairs?

Yes — seven chairs in total, but six of them were stone, and only one was a sofa...

[Even if Archbishop Capella looks down on the other bishops, did he really have to go this far...]

"Well, let's sit down and wait a while." Pandora nodded as she said it.

No telling when the others would arrive...

"Lady Pandora, you should sit here." Seeing her go straight for the stone chair by the door, Geuse, who'd been about to sit himself, hastily pointed to the seat of honor — the sofa.

"It's fine." Pandora simply shook her head.

Once the meeting started, she wouldn't have much time to sit anyway. Besides, the sofa had another purpose...

"Uh..." That left Geuse at a loss for words.

[Knock knock knock]

Just then, a knock sounded at the door.

"Come in."

"Lady Pandora."

"You..."

Looking at the strange bird balancing a platter of assorted fruit — a fruit platter, for short — on its head, Pandora looked puzzled.

"Weren't you supposed to be guarding the Conversation Mirror?" That was what the bird itself had said earlier.

"Uh... actually, this position does come with a bit of free time every day, so..."

"All right, thanks."

It was obviously a lie, but she didn't call it out — she simply took the platter.

"Then... I'll take my leave."

[Click]

As the door clicked shut, everything settled back into quiet.

"Want some?" She pushed the platter in front of the "zoned-out" Geuse and asked with a smile.

"You should go first —" Geuse, about to say something, stopped himself when he saw Pandora's smile still in place. "Thank you."

"All right." Pandora finally sat down. "Before the others arrive, let me go over the plan for later."

"Please, go ahead." Geuse, who'd just popped a grape into his mouth, hurriedly swallowed it and replied, "I'll cooperate fully."

"Mm." She nodded at that. "Here's the plan..."

Not long after —

"P-Pandora, milady..." Geuse had lost all composure. "A-are you serious?!"

Something about this decision felt awfully extreme — nothing like Pandora's usual style at all.

So...

"Understood!" Without waiting for her reply, Geuse stood and bowed, his eyes full of resolve.

"Mm..." He seemed to be imagining something again...

Over the next stretch of time, she went over a few more details with him, and at last —

"Sounds like they're here." The meeting room, quiet for a while now, could still catch some noise from outside.

The room's soundproofing seemed decent enough, it appeared.

"You classless creature, I'm talking to you — can you hear me? Someone's asked a question, and as the one being questioned, you're obligated to answer. I've given you permission to answer now, so why aren't you saying anything? Haven't figured out what to say yet? No matter, I'll give you time to think it over and answer."

That voice was unmistakably Regulus Corneas...

"Ah..." The reply was a soft murmur whose meaning was impossible to place.

"That kind of answer is really irritating!"

[Click]

Along with Regulus's somewhat irritated words, the door swung open.

"Lady Pandora..."

The two of them bowed to Pandora, seated off to the side, the moment they stepped in.

"Please, sit." Pandora rose and gestured toward the chairs.

"Huh?!" Regulus stared wide-eyed at the stone chairs. "That bastard! Just because I broke a few things last time, he had to go and put together something like this!"

"..." At that, Geuse shot Regulus a rather odd look.

"This is nothing short of forcing a man like me — a man with no desires left — to go begging for a decent chair! In other words, it's a violation of my freedom of choice! Has that bastard placed my dignity on the opposite side of the scale from his own desires? I cannot stand an object so steeped in contempt — I think these things ought to be destroyed, in place of that bastard's insult to me! At the very least, the next meeting should have something presentable to sit on! So my psyche doesn't suffer harm it never should have had to suffer! Can you hear me? Ah, right — a poor, mindless object couldn't possibly hear my words. But never mind, in a moment it won't exist anyway, isn't that right? Isn't it?!"

While he stood there pointing at the stone chairs and railing against them, no one dared interrupt his lengthy tirade.

"Archbishop Regulus." Only once he had finished completely did Pandora call out to him.

"Hm?" He turned, still irritated, but at the sight of Pandora's broad smile, he let out a small breath. "Lady Pandora, I'm sorry these chairs have upset you. I'll make them disappear right now."

As he spoke, he raised his hand.

"Please, stop this rash gesture."

"..." At that, he raised an eyebrow, as if waiting for Pandora to give him an explanation.

"I understand how you feel." She began by soothing him. "But you need to understand..."

The persuasion came after.

"If you destroy these chairs, it means this meeting room — or rather, everything within this vertical space — will vanish..."

"So what?"