Chapter 22: This Is Clearly a Quarrel Scene... (Patreon)

"We have no interest in whatever you think of as your rights," Ley said, tapping the solid wood conference table with his twin blades. "We've never once cared about that sort of thing. So-called rights are nothing more than a convenient excuse people use to justify hunting down high-quality food."

In truth, for both Ley and Regulus, "rights" were nothing more than a useful tool — the only difference was the direction each of them chose to point it.

"Hmm... I see it differently, but it's your right, after all. How you look at it is your own decision, so I understand." Regulus turned to Pandora. "Lady Pandora, what will you do? I'm quite looking forward to it."

The remark grated on her, if she were honest, but Pandora knew exactly what kind of man Regulus was, so she wasn't angry — there was no point being angry at him.

"Is that so?" Pandora simply nodded, then turned to look at Geuse.

"Yes." At that, Geuse hesitated a moment before finally pulling out the Gospel.

"Before that, there's something I need to make clear," Pandora suddenly spoke up. "Archbishop Romanée-Conti already holds the position of Sloth."

"Huh?" Regulus glanced at Geuse. "Lady Pandora, I thought you were just saying that offhand. Turns out you meant it..."

"Of course," Pandora said, nodding.

"Understandable enough. This elf does have his uses — don't misunderstand me, I mean useful to you. As for me, that's another matter entirely." Regulus sat back down, smiling as he fixed his eyes on Ley.

"There's no need to explain something like that. Lady Pandora can decide as she pleases. Of course, if while deciding you'd also recommend some delicious dessert for us, that would be even better." Compared to Regulus, Ley's respect for Pandora ran a notch deeper.

"Well..."

"Understood, my lady..."

Feeling Pandora's gaze on him, Geuse tightened his grip on the Gospel, then wrenched it apart with a sharp twist of both hands.

"Not bad, Archbishop of Sloth." Regulus nodded, looking at the two halves of the Gospel in Geuse's hands. "For a lowly elf to arrive at the same conclusion as someone as perfect as myself — that deserves commendation. How about it? Care to help me pick out my next wife?"

Then, without waiting for Geuse to answer—

"Ahh — I'm joking, of course. Something like that could never happen. Choosing a wife is my own right, and if someone else tried to interfere with it, well, it wouldn't bother me much, but that person would clearly be someone with no manners at all! Don't you agree? And the Archbishop of Sloth is obviously a man of upstanding character."

And with that, Regulus launched into another one of his long-winded speeches.

"Archbishop Ley." Pandora had nothing more to say to Regulus, so she turned to Ley instead. "Actually, I've done a bit of research into food sourcing myself."

"Lady Pandora is interested in that as well?!" Ley's interest was clearly piqued. "Though I wouldn't get your hopes up that we'd share any good ingredients we find with you, my lady. Good ingredients are hard to come by these days, as you well know."

"..."

Talking to this bunch really took it out of a person...

"Lady Pandora, is something wrong?"

"No, I was just thinking about what to give you."

"What was that?" Ley tapped his twin blades together. "You're going to give us something? Is it some fresh ingredient?!"

At that, even Regulus, off to the side exercising his talent for oratory, fell silent.

"No. It's about something between you and your sister."

With that, Regulus turned back and picked his speech right back up.

"About... us...?" Ley blinked, startled, then looked at Pandora in confusion. "Is there something you want to give us, Lady Pandora? It has to be food, doesn't it? If so, it had better be good — otherwise we won't like it."

"It's not that," she said, shaking her head. "It's about the relationship between the two of you."

"The relationship between us? Huh?! Ah — Lady Pandora, what are you talking about? The relationship between us is already good. It doesn't need gifts to keep it that way."

"Is that so? I... no, I should say Rui doesn't think so."

"What?!" Ley shot up out of his seat and slammed his blade into the solid wood table. "Lady Pandora, that's not something to joke about! No one knows our relationship better than we do. Every time we go to see her, we bring the most delicious, most exquisite ingredients straight to her table. How could our relationship possibly be bad?!"

He paused for a moment.

"Besides, what gives you the right to say our relationship is bad? How would you even know?"

Rui couldn't leave the Corridor of Memories — the two brothers could only "visit" her through the bond shared between the three of them. Yet Pandora claimed to know all about the matter between Rui and them. That was complete nonsense!

But before Pandora could get a word in—

"How Lady Pandora knows is none of your tasteless business, is it? Hm? You can't force someone to explain just because you want to know — that's basic human decency, isn't it? Unless you're not human. In which case, well, there's nothing I can do but turn you back into human shape. Understand?"

It was Regulus who spoke up, and infuriatingly, he somehow made it sound downright reasonable...

"Me, tasteless? Then what would you call something like you, who doesn't have a single part worth using as an ingredient? Even garbage has a smell we can pick up, but you don't have a scent at all, so you're..."

"Hah?! I don't have a smell because I don't want you to smell it! Of course, even if you begged me, I wouldn't let that garbage-sniffing nose of yours breathe in the fragrance my perfect body gives off. And besides, why should I let you sniff me just because you want to? Do you have any idea—"

"Heh... in the end, it's simply—"

"Don't you know it's incredibly rude to interrupt someone right when they're enjoying themselves talking?!"

And just like that, a trivial matter spiraled straight into a personal attack — at this rate, the whole place would probably end up flattened...

"All right, that's enough. Both of you, stop."