Chapter 26: Ram and Rem Toss (Patreon)

It had to be said, Schult's lap pillow really was quite effective — at least for now, Natsuki Subaru found his mental state surprisingly steady. His back no longer ached, his legs no longer hurt, and even that mad dragon couldn't trouble him for the moment.

Of course, Finality's words deserved no small share of the credit too.

But no mystic quack's words could ever be as comforting as a pretty girl's lap pillow, could they?

In any case, he was itching to stretch his limbs now.

No sooner said than done — in a single instant, Natsuki Subaru's figure dissolved into a wisp of black smoke and vanished from where he stood.

Shadow magic?

Ram and Rem looked up at the same moment, only to see Natsuki Subaru slowly emerging from the shadow beneath the ceiling chandelier, his whole body hanging upside down, that tattered black coat drooping downward and making him look just like a giant bat.

"Run, girls, while you still can!"

"Sister, he's on the ceiling."

"Ram sees him."

"Should we flee?"

"No need. If he really meant to attack us, he wouldn't have warned us just now."

"Hey!"

The wicked, charming smile Natsuki Subaru had just put on froze instantly.

"Could you two at least play along a little? When the villain makes his entrance, shouldn't the victims look terrified?"

It seemed a threat this mild wasn't going to rattle these two maids anymore. Time to bring out something a little rougher.

With that thought, Natsuki Subaru slipped back into the shadows, and in the blink of an eye appeared right between Ram and Rem, pressing a hand down on each of their shoulders and wrenching them forcefully apart.

The two maids didn't even have time to react before his absurdly overwhelming strength pulled them apart, and just as they stumbled, Natsuki Subaru caught each of them by the scruff of the neck, one in each hand, and hoisted them up like a pair of kittens.

"Caught two naughty kitties — and the punishment is... up you go!"

"Waah—"

Rem felt a sudden weightlessness, her half-hearted yelp stretching out as she was flung straight toward the ceiling.

"I'm flying."

Ram didn't even bother to cry out. As she was tossed into midair, she still found the presence of mind to glance down at the ground.

"What a cruel guest, to do something so rough to Rem."

"What a terrifying guest, to do something so indecent to Sister."

As the two maids traded lines back and forth, Natsuki Subaru caught them one after another and tossed them back up, his movements too fast for the eye to follow.

Ram and Rem could only feel their bodies losing weight over and over, rising up, then being caught precisely just as they were about to fall — and what's more, the spot where they rose and landed kept shifting each time, as if they were truly flying through the air.

"Sister's flying so high, so amazing."

"Ram sees it. Rem's flying pretty high too. Ram's jealous."

With that, Ram tilted her head to look down.

"Lord Barusu, do you intend to keep playing like this forever?"

"What the hell is Barusu?! And you call this playing? This is a downright terrifying punishment of weightlessness!"

Natsuki Subaru slowed down, caught Ram by the collar, and set her down gently on the ground. Then, without giving her any room to snark back, he flung her off in another direction, sending her right past Rem, who was still falling.

Schult could tell that Natsuki Subaru was having quite a lot of fun right now. He seemed to genuinely enjoy tossing people around like balls. Most importantly, it was completely harmless — for the ones being thrown, it was little more than a mild thrill, not so different from bouncing on a trampoline.

"Ah, Rem's about to fall—"

"Don't worry, watch this," Natsuki Subaru replied flatly, strolling unhurriedly toward the spot where Rem would land, snatching her by the collar in midair, spinning her once, and flinging her back up into the air.

They kept playing this game of maid-tossing for a while longer. Maybe he'd grown tired of it, or maybe he felt the two maids had already learned their lesson and could be let off the hook — either way, once Natsuki Subaru caught the falling Rem again, he didn't throw her back up. He simply set her down where she'd started.

Then Natsuki Subaru's figure vanished into the shadows once more, reappearing directly beneath Ram. He spread his arms and caught the falling pink-haired maid, cradling her knees and back in his palms, bringing her to a smooth, steady stop.

Why the princess-carry pose? Call it a bit of self-indulgence on his part — after all, these two maids had teased him so much already, so copping a little feel counted as fair interest, no harm done.

Ram glanced down at her own position, and said to Natsuki Subaru with a completely blank expression:

"Please put Ram down, Lord Barusu."

"So cold. I thought you'd at least blush a little," Natsuki Subaru shrugged, somewhat disappointed.

He was about to go along and set her down when, as his psionic senses instinctively kicked in, he froze for a moment. The look in his eyes as he studied Ram shifted from confusion to shock.

"Uh... are you actually alive?"

The moment the words left him, Ram fell silent for an instant.

The amused smile on Rem's face vanished in a flash.

Natsuki Subaru quickly realized how ominous that question must have sounded.

"No, wait, what I meant was—"

"Of course Ram is still alive," Ram answered calmly.

"Otherwise, what you're holding right now would be a corpse."

"Fair enough, guess your nerves are made of steel. Most people would've had the soul scared right out of them after being handled like that."

Natsuki Subaru found himself an excuse, passing it off as a joke about the tossing game just now, papering over the moment — but his gaze never left the pink-haired maid, as if he were confirming some kind of impossible contradiction, his expression turning thoughtful.

From what his psionic senses had just picked up — this little maid's psychic energy, or what this world called "mana," flowed in an extremely peculiar way. Simply put, there seemed to be a critical node missing inside her, causing the flow to move sluggishly, with an eerie sense of absence.

To put it in comparison, it was like someone had had their heart removed — and without the heart's pumping force, the blood still circulated through the body normally, and somehow, the person hadn't even died.

Natsuki Subaru's brow furrowed slightly.

Honestly, if he hadn't been able to feel her body temperature and confirm that Ram was genuinely alive, he'd have sworn the person standing before him was nothing more than a walking corpse.

Of course, this world surely had no Aeon of Abundance, nor any undead monstrosity like the Abomination of Abundance. So what was going on here? Surely someone wasn't giving this girl regular blood transfusions or something?

Interesting...

Meanwhile, Rem's fingers tightened around the hem of her skirt.

Natsuki Subaru's question just now — "are you actually alive?" — sounded like a joke, but Rem heard another layer of meaning in it.

She knew her sister's physical condition. She knew what that flaw meant.

Her sister had lost her horn.

After being stripped of the most vital wellspring of power for her kind, it was already a miracle her body had survived at all.

Ever since then, her sister could no longer wield power the way she once had. Even circulating magic had become extremely difficult — she could only sustain her life by relying on Lord Roswaal's regular infusions of magic power.

But this was something Lord Roswaal had never told Natsuki Subaru.

Nor had the two of them ever mentioned it in front of him themselves.

And yet this man had noticed something was wrong from a single touch alone.

"Idiot."

Once set down, Ram raised her hand and gave Natsuki Subaru a light flick on the forehead.

"Why are you suddenly insulting me?"

"Because you asked a very stupid question. Even an honored guest acknowledged by Lord Roswaal isn't exempt from Ram's contempt."

"So you're fine, then?" Natsuki Subaru raised an eyebrow.

"Ram is alive and well. No need for the idiot Barusu to worry."

"Right..." Natsuki Subaru pressed down the brim of his hat and decisively dropped the subject.

"So then, tell me — what brings the two of you here?"