Chapter 53: Re-entering the Forbidden Library (Patreon)

The next day, Rem's blurry eyes fluttered open to a familiar ceiling, as if everything that had happened the day before was nothing but a nightmare.

"Hey, Barusu, Rem's awake!"

Her sister Ram's voice drifted faintly from beyond the door. Rem sat up and looked toward it, just as Natsuki Subaru pushed the door open — their eyes met.

For a moment, time seemed to stop.

Rem blinked. "...Subaru-kun?" Her voice was barely above a whisper.

Natsuki Subaru tugged his hat brim down and replied evenly, "Yeah. It's me."

Rem's hands clenched tight around the edge of the blanket, as if she couldn't believe what she was seeing. Her eyes widened slowly.

"Is it really... Subaru-kun?"

"Mm."

"Am I not still... unconscious?"

"It's not a dream."

"But..." Tears suddenly welled up in Rem's eyes.

She lifted a hand as if to touch him, then froze midair.

Natsuki Subaru walked over.

He caught her outstretched hand.

It was ice-cold, trembling faintly.

Rem finally broke into tears.

She didn't sob loudly — the tears just kept falling, dropping onto their joined hands.

"But... Rem remembers... she couldn't do anything at all."

Her voice grew smaller and smaller.

"Everyone was fighting — Sister, Lord Ros-chi, even Subaru-kun — but Rem..."

"Rem—"

"Is Rem really so useless?"

"Rem always wanted to repay Subaru-kun, always wanted to do something for him... but Subaru-kun was gone for so long, and Rem just lay here the whole time. Rem didn't even know when he'd come back."

"I'm sorry — it's all because Rem is so useless!"

Rem threw herself into Natsuki Subaru's arms, gripping his clothes tight, her shoulders shaking with sobs.

"I'm sorry, Subaru-kun... I'm sorry..."

"Um..." Natsuki Subaru froze on the spot. Honestly, if Rem had been afraid of him because of her memories from being turned into a little blue bird the day before, he'd have understood completely — but this current situation was, frankly, more than a little unexpected.

He sighed and reached out to pat Rem's shoulder, trying to comfort her.

"Hey, don't rush to apologize. Everyone gets tricked sometimes — that guy was just too cunning. It's not your fault."

"Besides, you were stuck as a little bird for ages before I finally got you out. If anything, I'm the one who should be apologizing to you. Ha ha ha."

"A little bird... so it wasn't... a dream after all?!" Rem lifted her head, her tear-glistening eyes shining with hero-worship. "So that magnificent dragon last night... that was really Lord Subaru? I knew it... Lord Subaru truly is an amazing hero...!"

Being looked at with such open adoration for the first time left Natsuki Subaru a little embarrassed. He cleared his throat twice and firmly decided to drop the subject.

"I can only say... that was an accident..."

"Fine, I'll admit the dragon was me. In that form I've got a bit of a temper — I just burned the scumbag who tricked you straight to ash. Call it justice served on your behalf."

"Amazing!" Stars practically sparkled in Rem's eyes.

"Don't! Spoil me like that and I'll get cocky. You know what they say — pride goes before a fall." Still teary-eyed, Rem let out a small laugh at that.

Watching her smile, something in Natsuki Subaru eased a little.

"Anyway, I'm just glad you're awake." He reached out and wiped the tears from her face.

"Everything else can wait. Right now your only job is to get better — don't wear yourself out right after waking up."

"But Rem wants to repay Subaru-kun."

"Repay me?" Rem nodded firmly.

"After Rem turned into a bird, it was Subaru-kun who changed her back, wasn't it?"

Natsuki Subaru didn't deny it.

Rem lowered her head, hands folded in her lap. "Rem doesn't know how to repay a debt so great."

"There's really no need to make it sound so dramatic." Natsuki Subaru scratched his head.

"It's important to Rem."

Rem raised her eyes, her gaze growing steady.

"Please let me stay by Subaru-kun's side — as a maid, a guard, in any role at all... Rem wants to do something for Subaru-kun."

Natsuki Subaru looked at her, feeling like he'd somehow racked up an alarming amount of affection points without even trying — he hadn't been running any deliberate romance route or anything... Was his luck with women in this world getting a little out of hand?

And besides, Rem was a maid in his buddy Ros-chi's household — was he basically poaching staff right out of a friend's own house?

But she was volunteering on her own — so did that even count?

Just as Natsuki Subaru was wrestling with the dilemma, he caught sight of the doorway from the corner of his eye — Ciel stood there quietly, arms crossed, wearing a not-quite-smile that made him feel a distinct sense of danger. He decided, without hesitation, to make his position clear:

"Well... actually, I already have a maid."

The light in Rem's eyes dimmed instantly.

She slowly let go of the fabric she'd been clutching.

"...I see." Rem lowered her head.

Her voice stayed gentle, but couldn't hide the flash of disappointment underneath.

"Of course. A great hero like Subaru-kun already having someone by his side — that's only natural."

"Rem... Rem understands."

She lifted her face and forced a smile.

"Even if Rem can't be Subaru-kun's maid, she'll still follow him. If you need to fight, Rem will take up a weapon for you. If you need hands, Rem will help however she can."

"As long as... Rem can stay by Subaru-kun's side, that's enough."

Watching her force that smile, Natsuki Subaru's chest tightened uncomfortably.

"Lord Subaru, it seems both you and Miss Rem have misunderstood something."

At that moment, Ciel blinked lightly and stepped in with a mischievous grin.

"There's no rule, as far as I know, saying you can only have one maid, is there?"

Damn it! This woman really was a scheming little devil at heart!

Natsuki Subaru grumbled inwardly, though he also felt a wave of relief. He reached out and gently tapped Rem's forehead.

"See? No problem at all — you can relax, little Rem. Now lie back down."

"Don't worry about repaying me for now. Promise me you'll heal up first, okay?"

"But Subaru-kun, Rem really—" Rem struggled to climb out of bed.

"Lie back down." Natsuki Subaru's tone turned a shade more stern.

Rem pressed her lips together, but in the end obediently sat back down on the bed.

Only then did Natsuki Subaru relax.

"If you really want to repay me, then listen to me — just this once."

Rem said quietly, "Rem is usually very obedient."

"Then keep it up."

"...Okay." She looked at Natsuki Subaru, the disappointment in her eyes slowly fading.

"Rem will rest properly."

"That's more like it."

No sooner had he spoken than Ciel quietly stepped up beside them, setting the tray in her hands down on the nightstand, and gave Rem a gentle smile.

Rem looked up at her in turn.

Their gazes met in the air.

"You must be... Miss Ciel?"

Rem spoke first.

"Yes." Ciel nodded and bowed slightly.

"Thank you for taking care of Subaru-kun during his time in the Mathers domain."

Rem blinked, faintly startled, then flushed, looking a little bashful.

"Rem didn't really do anything."

"Just being able to stay by Subaru-kun's side already means a great deal."

As she spoke, Rem glanced at Natsuki Subaru again. "Subaru-kun can be reckless sometimes... please keep an eye on him for me from now on, Miss Ciel."

"That's something I think we can do together."

Ciel gave a faint smile.

"Subaru-kun doesn't strike me as the type one person alone could keep in line."

"Hey! You two!" Natsuki Subaru protested at once, raising a finger to flick each of them lightly on the forehead.

"I'm right here, you know. Could you two not plot against me right in front of my face?"

Rem couldn't help laughing again.

After leaving Rem's room, Natsuki Subaru and Ciel walked side by side down the manor's hallway.

Morning sunlight streamed through the windows, spilling across the carpet.

Ciel stayed silent the whole way. Natsuki Subaru didn't press her.

Not until they reached the end of the hallway did Ciel suddenly speak up. "Lord Subaru, earlier, when you said you already had a maid... it hurt Miss Rem."

"I know."

"Then why did you say it anyway?"

Natsuki Subaru turned to look at her.

Ciel's expression was complicated.

"If you were doing it out of consideration for my feelings, there was really no need. I wouldn't have minded Miss Rem staying by your side."

"That's not why I did it, either."

"Then why?"

Natsuki Subaru thought about it for a moment.

"Maybe because I wanted her to understand something first."

"What's that?"

"She doesn't need a reason like repaying a debt to stay by my side."

Ciel blinked, faintly caught off guard. Natsuki Subaru turned and rested a hand on a door beside them.

"That girl seems to have gone through some rough experiences that pushed her personality to an extreme. She thinks that if I'm ever kind to her, she has to repay it with her life. I don't want her staying that way."

"I want her decision to come from genuine thought, not from being shackled by that kind of guilt. Living like that would just be too sad."

Ciel fell silent for a moment, then said quietly:

"Is Subaru-kun this gentle with everyone?"

"I don't think so."

"You are."

"Then you're giving me way too much credit."

"I'm not." Ciel looked at him. "I just think... you always seem to notice the things people don't say out loud."

Natsuki Subaru didn't answer. He simply pushed the door open in silence, and the faint rustle of turning pages drifted out from beyond it.

Towering bookshelves stretched off into the depths of the room. The air held a mingled scent of old books and herbs, a chandelier hanging quietly overhead, its light falling on a small figure seated among the piles of books.

Beatrice didn't look up.

"You again? Didn't Betty tell you not to just barge in without good reason?"

"I've got real business this time, Betty. Look up."

Only after hearing that did Beatrice reluctantly lift her head. When her gaze passed over Natsuki Subaru at the door and landed on the white-haired figure standing behind him, her blue eyes flew wide, and the book cradled in her small hands slipped from her grasp and fell to the floor without her even noticing.

"...Mother?"

Ciel shook her head.

"My name is Ciel. I'm Lord Subaru's maid."

Beatrice didn't respond. She just stood there in a daze, eyes locked on Ciel, unwilling to even blink.

It was identical, down to the last detail — the snow-white hair, the jet-black eyes, the calm and gentle bearing. Even with a slight difference in overall presence, that distinctive citrus scent was something Beatrice could never mistake.

Suddenly, everything made sense — why Natsuki Subaru carried such a familiar scent, why he'd been able to say those particular words to her.

Because, from the very beginning, he had been the "person" Betty was waiting for!

"Both of you — this one and that one — have been lying to Betty."

A long while passed before Beatrice bent down and picked up the book.

Her voice was soft, but the tremor in it was unmistakable, as though she were straining to hold back some fierce, unspeakable emotion.

"Is disappointing Betty really that much fun...? Answer me!"

"I'm sorry, Miss Beatrice. Neither Subaru-kun nor I have lied to you."

Ciel clutched the hem of her skirt tight, struggling to keep her voice steady.

"I truly am one of your mother Echidna's creations. I bear her appearance, but I'm not the person you remember."

"Then what are you?" Beatrice's head snapped up, her small eyes already faintly red.

It was a hard question for Ciel to answer.

A vessel of Echidna's? A final creation bound to some purpose?

Natsuki Subaru stepped in first, answering for her:

"She's Ciel. My companion. That's all there is to it."

"Betty didn't ask you." Beatrice shot him a glare.

"I know." Natsuki Subaru raised both hands and stepped back half a pace.

"But she might not be great at answering that kind of question on her own."

Beatrice's gaze returned to Ciel. "Answer Betty. Now."

Ciel drew a deep breath. "As I said before, I am a creation of the Witch of Greed, Echidna."

"I don't know what she intended by giving me this body — identical to hers in appearance, even sharing her same magical gifts. It's almost as if I were, just like her, a born witch."

"But I have a name of my own. I want to live, too. And I refuse to be anyone's substitute."

Beatrice listened, brow furrowing deeply.

"When exactly did Mother make you? Betty has no memory of you at all."

"Yes... even I don't know that..." Ciel paused.

"All I know is that by the time I woke, everything had already changed. The age of the witches was over. Everyone only knew of the Witch of Envy, Satella — no one knew what kind of being my face belonged to. Even I didn't know what I was."

"No reason to exist, no purpose to live for. I didn't know what I was supposed to do, or where I was supposed to go — not until I met Her Highness, and then Subaru-kun."

Something shifted faintly in Beatrice's eyes.

Ciel turned to look at Natsuki Subaru, who merely tugged his hat brim lower, as if to say it wasn't really that big a deal.

"I don't think what I did was really that important."

"It was important to me." Ciel said it with utter sincerity.

Beatrice's brow stayed lowered, and she said nothing. The Forbidden Library fell quiet once more.

She stood there hugging the book, seeming to struggle to sort through her tangled feelings. After a long while, she finally spoke softly. "Just like Betty."

"Mother's always been like this — knowing so much, yet never willing to say things plainly."

Beatrice gently stroked the book in her hands, her voice growing hoarser.

"Back then, she entrusted the Forbidden Library to Betty and told her to wait for that person's arrival — but she never once told Betty who that person actually was."

"Did Betty do something wrong? Why did Mother abandon us? Why do we have to live with this confusion? Why, why, why?!"

Tears fell one after another onto the book's cover, leaving broad wet stains. Beatrice looked up at the white-haired girl whose face was nearly identical to Echidna's, and the sorrow in her heart welled up even more fiercely.

"Miss Ciel, do you know why?"

All Ciel could do was shake her head in silence.