Chapter 1: I Have a Dungeon Simulator - Roasting Everyone Equally (Patreon)

The instant before a cold, weightless sensation swept through his body, Gusttave had still been standing by the window of his rented apartment on the eighteenth floor, grumbling about the gray, overcast sky outside.

No one could have predicted it — he stretched instinctively, his foot slipped, and he plunged straight out the window.

"Holy crap! Dayun—"

The shrill scream caught in his throat. The bone-shattering agony he'd braced for never came. Instead, a dizzying vertigo swept over him, along with a mechanical voice blaring over and over in his ears.

[Host soul spatial displacement detected! Binding conditions met!]

[Dungeon Simulation System activating... 100%! Binding successful!]

[Detected destination world: Honkai: Star Rail. Special crossover mechanism triggered!]

[Three Realms Crossover Livestream Group loaded. Connected to three parallel worlds — Genshin Impact, Honkai: Star Rail, and Zenless Zone Zero. Awaiting host activation.]

Gusttave froze for three seconds.

In the first second, he thought: Did I just transmigrate? In the second: What kind of world is Honkai: Star Rail, anyway? In the third: Holy crap, how did I end up in a 2D Warhammer 40K!

"...Can I get a refund?" Gusttave's voice rang out.

The system ignored him.

Back in his original world, Gusttave had genuinely loved Honkai: Star Rail. But actually transmigrating into it? He wanted absolutely no part of that.

When he thought of Honkai: Star Rail, the first things that came to mind weren't the beautiful girls.

It was the Wandering Raiders, the Swarm, the Antimatter Legion, the Primal Doctors, the Purifiers, the Herb Plucker, the Arsonist, the Pre-War Caretakers, the Relativity Tracers, the Rescuers, and all the other Path lunatics.

Sure, this world wasn't like Warhammer 40K, where everyone suffered equally — but here, life was random, and death was even more so.

Gusttave finally sighed in resignation: "Fine. Since I'm here, I might as well make the best of it."

The first light screen was the Dungeon Simulation System panel.

[Host: Gusttave]

[Current World: Honkai: Star Rail]

[Core Functions: Trait Extraction, Immersive Dungeon Simulation, Score-Based Reward Settlement]

[System Notice: The host may spend Emotion Points to draw random Traits, then enter simulated dungeon worlds across the myriad heavens to complete them. Based on clearance score and completion rate, ultimate rewards will be granted — combat power, skills, items, World Origins, and more!]

The second light screen showed a chat group interface, its style completely different from the first.

The member list refreshed wildly, familiar IDs popping up one after another:

[Elysia], [Kiana Kaslana], [Raiden Mei]...

[Zhongli], [Raiden Shogun], [Hu Tao]...

[Dan Heng], [Asta], [Huohuo], [Feixiao], [Tingyun]...

[Belle] [Nicole] [Anby] [Billy]...

But every one of these names was dim and lifeless, because Gusttave hadn't formally activated the chat group yet.

The chat group's function was simple: it could livestream, or play content Gusttave had already edited, and in return it would earn him Emotion Points.

"Perfect. Now I know how to earn my first fortune," Gusttave's eyes lit up as a plan to farm Emotion Points came together in his head.

After spending some time editing his footage, Gusttave formally activated the chat group — and across every world, people heard the notification that they'd joined it.

A translucent light screen, visible only to themselves, appeared before each of them.

[Three Realms Crossover Livestream Group] has been officially activated!

A forced pop-up window appeared for everyone. The cold, mechanical notification sound echoed across time and space, ringing in the ears of every powerhouse.

On the Xianzhou Luofu, Yanqing — in the middle of drilling the Cloud Knights — scowled. "What sorcery is this? Who dares disturb the discipline of the Xianzhou army!"

In Starskiff Haven, Tingyun's smile stiffened slightly as she fanned herself with her round fan. Her fox ears twitched, and her fingertip traced the unfamiliar chat interface on the light screen. A flicker of shrewd curiosity crossed her eyes. "A curiosity that links the myriad heavens? More interesting than anything in the Scholarly Society's collection."

In a corner of the Ten-Lords Commission, Huohuo curled into a ball, hugging her tail tight. The talismans of the Ten-Lords Commission grew faintly warm, and the little fox spirit's voice trembled. "Ow... w-what is this thing? St-stay away!"

At the same time, in Liyue Harbor in Teyvat, Zhongli paused mid-sip of his tea. The Geo Archon's gaze stayed as still as ancient well water as it swept over the dazzling array of unfamiliar names on the light screen, his fingers tapping lightly against the table. In Tenshukaku, Inazuma, the Raiden Shogun broke off her meditation within the Plane of Euthymia; as lightning patterns flickered across her, she had already locked onto this unknown power that had crossed the boundary between worlds.

In the Honkai world, within the Elysian Realm, Elysia blinked her lovely eyes and tapped the light screen with a fingertip, her sweet voice tinged with delight. "Wow~ A chatroom that spans different worlds? What a romantic encounter!"

In New Eridu, Belle and Wise stared warily at the panel before them.

At the same time, a screen surfaced within the chat group.

The image showed Gusttave playing video games at home, on the eighteenth floor.

Then, for some reason, a Dayun truck suddenly slammed into him, sending him flying.

Next came a scene of Gusttave lying on a planet blanketed in white snow.

[March 7th: Is this the legendary truck-kun transmigration?]

[Kiana: No matter how you look at it, there's no way a truck could send someone flying that high, right?]

[Hu Tao: Whoa! Now that's a stylish entrance! This Director approves! Though seriously, getting hit by a car and sent to another world — friend, did you offend some deity in your past life?]

[Tingyun: My, my, falling from a high-rise and being reborn across worlds — this little friend's fortune is stranger than any legend in the Xianzhou's storybooks~]

[Zhongli: A spatial leap, a soul crossing worlds — such power already touches upon the laws governing the world itself. Truly extraordinary.]

[Elysia: Wow! A thrilling fall, a wondrous transmigration — I'm sure this friend is about to begin quite the story!]

Everyone's reactions earned Gusttave a huge amount of Emotion Points — after all, to this crowd, the whole idea of transmigration was simply too outlandish.

Meanwhile, the footage kept playing.

His earlier exchange with the system played out before everyone too, though with a few small differences.

"...Can I get a refund?" Gusttave's voice rang out.

A cutesy, girlish voice answered — the sound of Gusttave's system. "Why would you want a refund, Host? Isn't this one of your favorite worlds?"

Gusttave didn't hold back. "Sure, I love the characters in this world, no argument there. But actually transmigrating into this crap-hole of a world? Hard pass."

The "system" asked, puzzled, "Why?"

"Let me put it this way. When you've got an era with insanely advanced productivity, but the social system is still capitalist — or even feudal — you'd better watch out for just how many monsters and demons are crawling around in that world."

Gusttave crossed his arms, standing on a barren, frozen wasteland of snow and ice. The wind whipped shards of frost against his cheeks, but he didn't seem to notice, his tone full of the world-weary griping of someone who'd been there and done that.

"Technology can cross star systems, warships can blast planets to rubble — and what do you get? Nobles hoarding power, warlords carving up territory, dark gods whispering in the shadows, monsters running wild. Ordinary people survive on pure luck, and every single powerhouse is one step from madness. This place is more absurd than dancing on the edge of a blade."

His voice carried the weariness of someone who'd seen it all. "You know about the Xianzhou Alliance, right?"

"Sure do."

"The Xianzhou is full of the Long-Lived, folks who live for nearly a thousand years on average, with tech advanced enough for interstellar travel. And the result? Class mobility harder than concrete. A grunt in the Cloud Knights might serve for two hundred years and still be a grunt, because his commanding officer has lived five hundred years and still hasn't retired."

[March 7th: ???]

[March 7th: Wait, that actually kind of makes sense?]

[Dan Heng: ...]

"And then there's Belobog." Gusttave rubbed his numb hands together and sat up in the snow. "A lone city in an endless frozen wasteland, surviving entirely on Nucrystal ore. The Overworld folks live it up in their cozy fortress, eating well and living easy, while the Underworld miners risk their lives digging for scraps of food. Seven hundred years ago it was like that. Seven hundred years later, still the same. And if you ask why — it's 'tradition.'"

[Seele: How does he know about Belobog?]

[Bronya: ...Unpleasantly accurate.]

"And then there's the Corporation." Gusttave was getting into it now. "The Interastral Peace Corporation — doesn't that name sound just lovely? And the reality? Universe-scale monopoly capital. A planet that won't fall in line? Economic sanctions. A civilization that can't pay its debts? Absorbed into corporate management. Freeze the credit system on you, and you can't even buy fuel for interstellar travel."

[Topaz: That description... is sharp, but not entirely without basis.]

[Aventurine: Interesting. This transmigrator sure knows a lot about the Corporation.]

"And that's just the social system side of things." Gusttave climbed to his feet and brushed the snow off himself. "What'll really get you killed are the Path lunatics in this world—"

He started counting on his fingers. "The Wandering Raiders — a plundering civilization that roams the sea of stars, snatching up whatever they see. The Swarm — cross-dimensional cousins of the Tyranids, so numerous they can bury an entire planet. The Antimatter Legion — the enforcers of Nanook, the Aeon of Destruction, leaving nothing but scorched earth in their wake. The Primal Doctors — members of the Genius Society, lunatics who treat people like lab rats."

[Feixiao: The Wandering Raiders are indeed a threat not to be underestimated.]

[Huohuo: Ow... th-the Swarm sounds so scary...]

"And then there's the Purifiers, the Herb Plucker, the Arsonist, the Pre-War Caretakers, the Relativity Tracers, the Rescuers..." Gusttave rattled off the whole list in one breath.

"Every last one of them is capable of wiping out a planet, or even an entire star system."

He paused, his tone dead serious, nothing like a joke. "Back in my original world, when I pulled bad gacha in this game, the worst I did was curse a couple times. But actually transmigrating here in the flesh? No thanks. I'll take going back to pay rent instead."

The chat group fell silent for a few seconds.

[Elysia: I don't understand a lot of those terms, but I can feel it — this friend really understands this world deeply~]

[Zhongli: To dissect the structure of an entire world down to this level is certainly beyond what an ordinary traveler could manage. As far as "understanding" goes, this is thorough indeed.]

[Hu Tao: Wait wait wait, so this friend was originally a... player? Someone who controlled our world from that other one?]

Hu Tao's question hit right at the heart of the matter.

Before Gusttave could answer, the cutesy-voiced system in the footage spoke up first. "Well, how about I switch you to a different world — Teyvat from Genshin Impact, or New Eridu from Zenless Zone Zero?"

Gusttave thought it over. "Not impossible, I guess. Sure, the systems in those two worlds aren't great either, but at least part of the problem there is low productivity, not just pure rot."

"Still, if I get a choice, I'd rather go to Teyvat. Though honestly, Liyue in that world makes me sick."

"It's clearly modeled after my own homeland's culture, and yet it's run by seven merchants. That's basically a disgrace to my ancestral country."

"Merchants running a nation... heh."

[Three Realms Crossover Livestream Group]

After a brief silence, the chat group exploded.

[Hu Tao: ???]

[Hu Tao: Friend, you'd better explain that last comment. What do you mean, "Liyue makes you sick"?]

[Keqing: The Liyue Qixing have guarded Liyue Harbor for generations, sparing no effort. How dare an outsider like you slander us so carelessly!]

[Ganyu: P-please, watch your words... The Liyue Qixing may be merchants, but every generation of the Qixing has given everything for Liyue...]

[Xiao: ...Whoever disrespects the Rex Lapis deserves death.]

The Liyue crowd, composed just a moment ago, suddenly turned.

In Liyue Harbor, Zhongli set down his celadon teacup. The Rex Lapis's gaze, indifferent and unchanging for a thousand years, stirred for the first time. His knuckles rapped against the sandalwood table, a low, muffled sound.

He had ruled Liyue for thousands of years, sheltering its people through hardship and calamity, and after stepping down had entrusted its governance to mortals. Never once had he imagined this arrangement would be so sharply refuted by an outsider.

Did this mean the path he'd chosen was wrong?

The Xianzhou Luofu, Starskiff Haven.

Tingyun's round fan froze mid-motion. Her fox ears pricked up slightly, her lovely eyes fixed on the line of text on the light screen, and the corners of her mouth curved into a meaningful smile. "My, my, this little friend certainly doesn't hold back. Barely arrived, and already offending people from three whole worlds at once?"

What Tingyun didn't know was that all of it had been made up by Gusttave.

All to stir up everyone's outrage.

After all, anger could earn Gusttave Emotion Points too.

From that point on, Gusttave seamlessly switched from his pre-edited footage to a live broadcast.

Under everyone's watchful eyes, Gusttave activated the system and began his first Dungeon Simulation.

The cold mechanical notification voice rose sharply, echoing through Gusttave's mind and across every light screen in the Three Realms livestream group at once, cutting through the towering fury the Liyue controversy had just stirred up.

[Dungeon Simulation activating! Randomly selecting a world template...]

[Selection successful! Dungeon World: Fox Spirit Matchmaker]

[Drawing initial Traits for the host (Cost: 100 billion Emotion Points. Bracketed content visible to the host only.)]

[Trait rarity, from lowest to highest: White, Green, Blue, Purple, Orange, Gold, Red, Black]

[The Strictest Father of Another Race (Gold): When fighting creatures of a different species from your own, your combat strength can be boosted up to one hundredfold. Damage dealt to you by different-species opponents is unconditionally reduced to one-hundredth.]

[Ultimate Life Form (Red): The pinnacle of biological evolution, granting a unique ability all your own, plus the most fundamental power shared by all Ultimate Life Forms — immortality and indestructibility.]

[Scholar (Blue): You learn things very quickly.]

[Rhetoric Mastery (Blue): A minor boost to verbal persuasiveness. It becomes extremely easy to earn others' trust.]

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