Chapter 23: Win, Win, and Win Again! (Patreon)

Ugh, I'm shameless!

Anastasia cursed under her breath. Really, it was because her mind moved so fast and her imagination ran so wild that she'd been able to build her business bigger and bigger all this time — she'd never expected it to backfire on her like this, conjuring up such an idea out of nowhere...

Now she couldn't even claim she was thinking pure thoughts. How stupid.

Anastasia whimpered and yanked her hat down to cover her cheeks. Sure, she didn't really have friends — she was too good at reading people and too good at business, so oddly enough she had no friends outside her own merchant guild. Ricardo and Mimi and the others were just people she'd known since childhood. Because she had no friends, she supposed it made sense that she craved having some.

But friends were just friends! Even if the chemistry was good, why did her mind have to go there?!

She was such an idiot!

"Oh-ho, oh-ho-ho, someone here, tsk tsk tsk, what's wrong? Don't tell me you're about to cry after getting scolded. Oh dear, this poor pauper doesn't have a handkerchief to wipe some Miss Anastasia's snot and tears. Guess you'll just have to make do — sniffle it up and let everyone see how pathetic you look."

Heh!

Grinning ear to ear, Felt — riding high on her victory — felt utterly refreshed, and got cocky, pressing her advantage. She had no interest in mercy for a beaten dog. Experience had taught her: when you've got the upper hand, you go for the throat. Heh heh heh.

That little shrimp!

Anastasia said, a bit dazed, "It's fine, it's fine. I'm not someone you can't rely on. In fact, if Master Subaru or Miss Felt ever need someone to lean on, why not come find me?"

Well — if it were Subaru, and she didn't have anything terribly important going on, it wouldn't hurt to sit down and let him vent his troubles to her.

As for that little shorty-b.itch, though — never mind, she'd have a hundred skilled painters ready in no time, capturing every single humiliating angle of that shorty-wh.re from all three hundred sixty degrees, then reproducing a thousand, ten thousand copies, and distributing them for free across all four kingdoms!

Anastasia quickly pushed her hat back and cooled herself down. She no longer looked too out of sorts. Narrowing her striking, gorgeous eyes, she looked at Felt with a smile and said, "Hurry up and finish reading the rest, would you?"

"Ha, gladly." Felt smirked. The rest of the names didn't matter to her one way or another — none of those people had anything to do with her — but the more she read, the more she got to savor the joy of cursing by proxy.

How lovely.

Subaru glanced carefully at Felt, then at Anastasia. Something about the mood felt off, though he couldn't say exactly what. He just went along with the flow and kept recording.

The second name was Crusch Karsten, the third was Emilia, and the fourth was Priscilla Barielle.

When he got to the third name, he actually felt a little reluctant to start cursing. For some reason, he felt — well — rather fond of that name.

He'd never felt that way about Felt or Anastasia. With them, it had been the other way around: he'd gotten to know them, talked with them, and only then realized they were good people, and wanted to be friends.

But with Emilia, there was this... something. Just a little something. Subaru thought about it for a moment, decided it was probably just his imagination, and let it go, pushing it to the back of his mind.

Besides, something else happened right after that, leaving him no time to dwell on it anyway.

Just as the three of them started cursing Priscilla's name, Felt suddenly coughed, as if she'd choked on her own spit. She managed to push through and finish the curse anyway — but the next moment—

BOOM!

What a coincidence. Truly, an absolute coincidence — anyone watching would swear it was pure chance.

There weren't many proper houses in the slums, but there were a few, and to avoid prying eyes, Subaru and the others had picked a spot in the dark shadow behind one of them.

The unlucky part was that when they'd been clearing out the slums earlier, partly for efficiency and partly because there hadn't been spare money to hire dragon-carts to haul the junk away, a bunch of large items had been piled up together on the ceiling of that very house.

Maybe the wind had just been strong enough to catch some loose joint, because with a sudden crash, all those large items up there triggered a chain reaction and came crashing down all at once — landing right where the three of them stood.

"Look out!"

The shout came out, but before he even yelled it, Subaru had already lunged forward, grabbing Felt with one arm and Anastasia with the other, pulling them both under him. He curled his back over them, shielding them from the falling debris large enough to really hurt someone, and sprinted them out of the way. A few smaller pieces still caught him on the back partway through, but nothing stopped his stride.

"—You idiot! I have the Divine Protection of Wind! I could've outrun it myself! Grabbing me was a total waste of time — you should've just run! It's not like I can't run on my own! Next time something like this happens, if you pull that stunt again and get yourself hit trying to save me, I'll bite you!"

The debris had barely stopped falling, the dust hadn't even settled, and Felt was already fuming, flustered and anxious, twisting free of Subaru's arms. She spun around and yanked up the hem of his shirt to check for injuries.

"I have connections — I can call in a skilled healer right away! I'll have Mimi go fetch one this instant!"

Anastasia's frame was far more delicate and fragile than Felt's, so she was a beat slower to react, but her first instinct was exactly the same. She might be a shrewd merchant, but that didn't mean she lacked warmth — quite the opposite. This purple-haired, delicate girl might have had more heart than anyone.

Subaru, face flushed, hastily yanked his shirt back down while babbling, "Stop, stop, stop, aren't you two overreacting? I'm not hurt at all! Felt, don't you remember what happened last time?"

If this had happened before he got his reward, he definitely would've been hurt. But now, with a body on par with the legendary King Aragorn's, getting hit by those big pieces of debris would've been a real problem — but the small stuff was nothing.

After all, he wasn't exactly a martial arts master. Last time, fighting a thousand people alone, he'd definitely taken his fair share of hits — but none of it had really mattered, all thanks to his body's newfound toughness.

And setting all that aside — even if he could dismiss Felt as just a kid, Anastasia was a girl of the right age, and having her slender little hands running all over his back so full of concern... he really couldn't be held responsible for losing control of himself!

"You—you should've said something sooner!"

Felt seemed to explode all over again. After checking him over thoroughly and finding not a single scratch, her expression flipped instantly — no more panic, no more tears in her voice, no more gentleness. She slapped Anastasia's hand away without mercy and yanked Subaru's shirt back down hard.

"Bullying me like this, hm? I might just have to bill you for medical expenses, Miss Felt."

Anastasia wasn't the least bit upset. She just returned the jab with a sweet smile, drawing out that last bit — "Miss Felt" — as slow and syrupy-gentle as she possibly could.

Just a little mutual torment between friends. Did the little shorty-b.itch really want to test who had more patience with her?