Chapter 44: Ram: Subaru Natsuki, a real man! (Patreon)

Never mind whether the shopkeeper was courting death. Never mind whether he had the skill to back it up.

Priscilla had that kind of rank and status, that kind of aura, and a personality that screamed "holds a grudge over the slightest slight" at first glance. And he dared to accuse her openly, dared to step up and face her. If that wasn't a real man, what was?

For venting all their pent-up spite on their behalf alone, Puck and Ram were willing to raise their opinion of the shopkeeper from 0 to at least 30.

Go, Shopkeeper! Long live the Shopkeeper! Yeah! How could the world have someone as magnificent as the Shopkeeper? Hooray, hooray!

Puck and Ram traded a glance and read the same thought in each other's eyes. They smiled silently and cheered the shopkeeper on in their hearts. It was the first time the two of them had been so in tune since Emilia had entered Mathers Domain.

And the shopkeeper was so right, so logical, so clear-headed. He had actually pulled out the Sword Saint as his trump card.

Truth be told, they really wanted to know. Faced with the Sword Saint, whom absolutely no one could defeat, how would Priscilla answer?

"Spare me such ridiculous nonsense. How could such a thing be done?"

In front of everyone, Priscilla stood in her languid pose, without a trace of defeat on her face. She said it offhandedly, and she had actually admitted outright that she had no chance of beating the Sword Saint, and no way of escaping from under his blade.

The trio of Subaru Natsuki, Al, and Emilia gaped in unison. "Huh? She actually admitted it?!"

Jaws on the floor. Nothing but dropped jaws.

Was this really Priscilla?

"What, is that so surprising, jesters?"

Priscilla smiled lazily, full of disdain and contempt. "Whatever the case, what can't be done can't be done. To fake it or to lie would insult my noble self. That hidebound clown called the Sword Saint is simply that much of a monster. What is so astonishing about it?"

"No, but…"

Subaru Natsuki started to speak, stopped, then started again. He was still too young, and he hadn't expected Priscilla to admit it so calmly. Caught off guard, he was a bit flustered. "If you admit you can't beat the Sword Saint, how do you have the nerve to run your mouth like that?"

"Oh my, so unable to take a compliment. I had only just acknowledged your uniqueness, and already you disappoint me this much. It seems I carelessly held expectations of you and overestimated you. How pitiful. You are so pitiful that you prove unworthy of my recognition. Truly tragic."

That single speech was laced with who knew how many personal attacks. Subaru Natsuki choked. Just how petty was this woman? An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, repaid tenfold.

But before Subaru Natsuki could fire back, Priscilla had already put away her sarcasm and continued lazily:

"Kings have a king's talents, and cooks have a cook's talents. That I stand above all things does not mean I must surpass all things. Were I skilled at everything, would I have to do everything myself?"

"I deigned to descend upon this imperfect world to enjoy it, to bask in comfort. I came to bring perfection so that jesters may recognize their own imperfection, and to dispel this pitiful world's imperfection with my perfect soul and perfect virtue. I did not come because I can do everything. Must I really be the one to teach you such a simple principle?"

She'd lost it.

Subaru Natsuki was truly dumbstruck. When someone could hallucinate logic like this, what could you even say?

For the moment, he honestly had no idea how to respond.

But Emilia, in her innocent purity, instinctively thought of something. She raised her little hand, curious and excited. "But, but, after all that, Miss Priscilla, you still haven't said what you'd do if the Sword Saint came to kill you!"

"…"

A death stare.

Priscilla's death stare made Emilia shrink back a little. Puck hurriedly hid his darling daughter behind him and unleashed a flurry of cat punches and kicks at Priscilla from across the distance.

"Foolish half-elf, your ignorance astonishes me even more than that jester over there. Cute as you are, is that truly the only reason you're allowed to live? I am quite fond of cute things, but my tolerance is not without limit."

Priscilla narrowed her eyes slightly. But since Emilia was naive enough and meant no provocation at all, she was willing, for the time being, to let Emilia work it out.

"Answer me. Does that hidebound Sword Saint regard protecting this decayed, imperfect, backward nation as his lifelong duty?"

"I think so?" Emilia hid behind Puck with only half her face showing, and mumbled, "I haven't met the Sword Saint yet, but everyone I've heard talk about him says so."

"Then I ask you again. Am I not a Royal Selection candidate of this foolish kingdom?"

Faced with Priscilla's interrogation, Emilia nodded again like a chick pecking at rice. "Yes, of course you're a candidate, Miss Priscilla."

"Then what question remains?"

Priscilla half-closed one eye, as if she had finished explaining. Her whole posture said, "I've made it this clear. If you still don't get it, you may as well die. You're going to be the death of me with your stupidity."

But Emilia honestly still hadn't figured it out.

"I understand, Lady Emilia."

Ram, on the other hand, had worked it out. "What she means is this. She can't beat the Sword Saint, but why is the Sword Saint so hidebound that he puts protecting the kingdom above everything? And why does she just happen to be one of the kingdom's candidates?"

"The answer is simple. Because this is itself proof that she is above everything."

"Though she can't beat the Sword Saint, the world long ago bent to her will and placed her where she can never stand on the opposite side of the battlefield from him. She can never be killed, or even harmed, by the Sword Saint. After all, even if the first knight of the fifth candidate, who hasn't appeared yet, turned out to be that Sword Saint, he would never use violence in the competition against the other candidates."

Ram wouldn't even say "Lady Priscilla." She wouldn't say Priscilla's name at all. She explained the whole thing with her usual deadpan face.

It was her way of needling Priscilla.

Seeing this, Subaru Natsuki secretly gave Ram a thumbs-up. He used to think Ram's attitude toward him was awful, but now he forgave her. She was a good person, a comrade!

He was touched!

But being touched wasn't enough. Priscilla's logic was forced, yet for now it did, just barely, close the loop.

He had to think. What else, what else could deal a solid blow to this innately arrogant woman, this walking incarnation of the Seven Deadly Sins, this born villain!