Chapter 148: A Unique Dream, Let Me Be Selfish (Two-in-One 5k) (Patreon)

Inside Honami Ichinose's dorm room.

Hikaru Naruse took the barley tea the girl handed him and sipped it unhurriedly.

He made no attempt to size up how she'd decorated the room. Instead, he spoke slowly.

"Ichinose, now that it's just the two of us, we can pick up what we talked about last time."

"No need to beat around the bush. We can talk frankly, since this is something we agreed on."

"Mm. I know."

Honami Ichinose gave a small nod of her little head.

"If something that happened in your past is really behind how you do things now, I think you'll only be able to lead your class better once you've truly gotten past it."

"After all, your class still owes us points."

Hikaru Naruse made a joke to ease the mood.

"Don't worry, Naruse-san, we won't skip out on the debt~"

"Good. Once you've told me, we'll figure out how to deal with it together."

Honami Ichinose knew she had to say it today. Her clear, sky-blue eyes flickered for a moment, and then she drew a deep breath.

"Okay, Naruse-san. I'm going to tell you."

"I hope that after you hear it... you won't look at me strangely."

"Strangely?"

Hikaru Naruse knew what Honami Ichinose's past was. Getting her to say it out loud really did take some mental preparation.

"Uh, don't tell me you caught me sneaking looks at your legs before?"

"That's not what I mean!"

Honami Ichinose's face turned red. She glanced down at her own legs, and for some reason a strange little thrill fluttered through her.

"Don't interrupt me... Naruse-san, I'm going to start, okay?"

"Mm."

The pink-haired girl thought for a moment, and at last began to tell the "embarrassing" part of her past.

It wasn't a particularly complicated story.

When Honami Ichinose was little, her family was very poor. It was a single-parent household, and her mother was the only one working.

There was also a younger sister, and with two children to put through school, there was basically no room for any pocket money. Even their meals were limited to cheap curry and discounted bento.

It all started with her sister's birthday. Her sister was a good kid and never asked her family for presents.

But just then, because of the kids in her class trying to outdo one another, her sister set her heart on a hairpin identical to one worn by a girl idol. It was a high-end accessory, displayed only in a boutique.

Honami and her sister had never been ones to waste money, so when she learned the price, the girl was genuinely startled.

The hairpin cost over ten thousand yen, a price the two of them could never have afforded back then.

Their mother found out, and as the pillar of the household, she decided to work overtime to grant her daughter's wish. She asked her workplace for extra shifts.

Overtime here, overtime there, and in the end Honami's mother collapsed from illness.

In the hospital room, Honami heard her sister's "confession" and her tears. As the older sister, she felt she had to do something.

So Honami Ichinose, who had never done a single bad thing in her whole life, went and stole that hairpin.

It truly was a shameful thing. Her sister was overjoyed afterward, but of course it couldn't be hidden from their mother.

As a mother who would rather work day and night than skimp on raising her two children, she naturally couldn't accept such a "despicable" act.

She not only forced Honami to return the hairpin, but also made the girl kneel before the shop owner in front of everyone and beg for forgiveness.

That was the memory Honami Ichinose couldn't bear to look back on.

*

When she finished, Honami Ichinose kept her head down. Her long pink hair fell from both sides and hid her face.

Confessing takes courage. Even though Honami had gotten through all of it, it was something she had lived through herself, and now the girl was clearly having a PTSD episode. Her calves trembled slightly.

She waited for Hikaru Naruse's reaction, wanting to know how he felt and what he thought.

After all, no matter where you go, thieves are looked down upon.

The girl stole a glance at the boy sitting across from her and found that his expression hadn't changed much at all.

"Ichinose, how old were you then?"

"Middle school."

"Heh, you really don't have to be so nervous. I'm not going to say anything about it."

Hikaru Naruse smiled faintly and held out his right hand.

"Ichinose, hold out your right hand for me."

"Hm?"

Honami Ichinose lifted her head slightly. In her slightly reddened eyes, a flicker of confusion crossed those lovely irises.

"Naruse-san, what are you going to do?"

"I want to try helping you overcome this. It already happened, and running from it isn't going to solve anything."

"Just holding out my hand is enough?"

Honami didn't doubt Hikaru Naruse. She was just suddenly curious and a little curious in a nervous way.

"Yes. How well it works in the end depends on whether you trust me, Ichinose."

"I trust you."

Honami Ichinose didn't hesitate any longer. She held out her slender, fair little hand straight to Hikaru Naruse.

The next moment, his big hand wrapped tightly around hers.

At that instant, a warm sensation flowed in, traveling from her palm up and up until it reached the bottom of her heart.

"Hold on tight."

"Mm, got it."

This was actually the first time Honami Ichinose had skin contact like this with a boy.

Back on the uninhabited island, he had held her once, but that was an emergency, and nothing had come of it afterward.

This time was completely different. With his big hand enveloping her small one, Honami was even a little surprised.

Are boys' hands always this hot?

"All right, relax first, then slowly recall the scene as it happened."

"Mm..."

Honami Ichinose closed her eyes and began to recall that shameful incident.

For some reason, once her eyes were shut, the girl suddenly felt dizzy and light-headed, and soon she couldn't control her body.

"Take your time. Open your eyes and look at your surroundings."

Thanks to his experience helping Kei Karuizawa last time, Hikaru Naruse handled this with practiced ease.

He got up and sat right beside Honami Ichinose, shifting from facing her to sitting shoulder to shoulder.

"Okay. Take a look. Is this the place?"

"I..."

When Honami Ichinose opened her eyes, the first thing she saw was a blurry mirror, the image too hazy to make out.

After several seconds, she rubbed her eyes without thinking, and once she could see what was in front of her, her heart lurched.

She had gone back home.

It was a tiny apartment, without even enough space for separate bedrooms. She, her sister, and her mother all slept in the same room.

Sniffing the air, Honami caught the smell of cooking oil. Her mother seemed to be making dinner.

The gentle woman, dressed in her house clothes, was stirring the wok with a spatula.

And her usually well-behaved, adorable little sister was right there, within arm's reach.

"Big sis, what's wrong?"

Hearing that familiar voice, Honami Ichinose answered without thinking.

"Nothing at all."

Honami's sister also had pink hair. She wore it in two small ponytails, and her big brown eyes curved into crescent moons. She looked adorable.

"Big sis, my birthday's coming up soon. I want a birthday present."

"What kind of present?"

Huh?

Honami Ichinose froze for a moment, because her mouth had started replying on its own, even though she was still getting used to this strange sensation of the "first person" descending onto her.

"It's a really cute hairpin. It's the same one Nina-chan wears. I really, really want it."

Nina-chan was a cute idol, and her sister seemed to look up to her a lot.

"How much is the hairpin?"

"It's a little expensive. I should ask Mom what she thinks."

"Ask Mom?"

It felt like a first-person view, yet Honami felt as though she were watching a movie.

"Will Mom... say yes?"

The moment she finished that sentence, the scene before her abruptly changed. When Honami Ichinose could see clearly again, she found herself in a hospital room.

White walls, white sheets, a white ceiling.

The air was thick with the sharp smell of disinfectant mixed with medicine. Her mother lay on a bed not far away, her face pale, her lips cracked and dry. She looked to be in very bad shape.

Her sister stood by their mother's bedside, crying and apologizing.

"Mom, I don't want that hairpin anymore. I don't want it! I'll never be selfish again!"

"It's okay... Mom can hold out a little longer. It's your birthday, after all..." Her mother stroked her sister's head with a thin hand, and a tangle of complicated emotions began to surge through Honami Ichinose's chest.

As the big sister, shouldn't I do something for this family?

Could I make my sister's wish come true?

Honami and her sister were true sisters, and though they didn't have the telepathy that legendary twins supposedly share, she knew her sister still wanted that hairpin badly.

If I got it for her, she'd probably be happy for a long, long time, wouldn't she?

And if my sister cheered up, maybe Mom would be able to rest a little easier too?

Honami Ichinose steeled her resolve. She drew a deep breath and suddenly understood the conflict she'd felt back then.

The next moment, a mist engulfed the scene again.

This time, when she opened her eyes, Honami Ichinose nearly shuddered all over, because right in front of her was that boutique.

Honami spotted the hairpin on the shelf at a glance. It sat on an elegant display stand, silvery white, with several tiny crystals set into its surface. It really was beautiful.

Naturally, the price was beautiful too: a full 12,000 yen.

For a family that had to count every yen even for meals, it was absolutely out of reach.

Honami Ichinose's hand finally began to tremble.

She seemed to be far from the hairpin, yet also very close, as though she could reach out and touch it.

In her mind, the voice she'd heard before rang out again.

"It's okay... you're doing it for your sweet sister, and for your mother."

"It's fine to take it. No one will blame you. You're not a bad kid. You're the good kid who gets commended every year."

"You can do it. Go ahead and take it."

"The shop owner would understand too."

It was a memory inside a dream, but at that moment it felt overwhelmingly real to Honami Ichinose.

Without thinking, she raised her hand, and her feet carried her closer to the hairpin all on their own.

Just then, someone suddenly caught her hand.

A sharp snap—the hand was warm and strong. It didn't merely grab hers; it closed around the hand she'd stretched out and held it firm.

"Don't take that hairpin. It's just something born from kids trying to outdo each other. It's not what your sister truly likes."

"What?"

Honami Ichinose sensed that someone familiar had appeared behind her. His voice was familiar, too, and though he was right there at her back, she felt not the slightest discomfort.

Who is he?

"Even if you don't take that hairpin, your sister won't blame you later."

"You're a gentle older sister. You're her role model."

Honami Ichinose pulled her hand back without thinking, and then felt herself wrapped in an even warmer sensation.

"Who... are you?"

"Turn around and look at me, Ichinose."

Drawn by that gentle voice, Honami Ichinose slowly turned her head and saw a strikingly handsome face, a warm smile on it, barging straight into her mind without a trace of hesitation.

"N-Naruse-san?!"

Honami Ichinose jumped. She hadn't expected to dream about Hikaru Naruse. This was a first.

Is it because I've been thinking about him too much?

"Why so surprised, Ichinose? Aren't we good friends?"

"Mm... that's true, but why would Naruse-san be here?"

Honami Ichinose didn't mind at all that he was gripping her hand tightly. Instead, the question slipped out of her.

"Coincidence."

"Coincidence?"

"It's also part of the therapy. The past really can't be changed. Look over there."

At those words, Honami Ichinose turned her body and looked back without thinking.

And then she saw "herself," standing outside the shop, seeming to have spent a long while steeling herself before she walked into the boutique.

Pretending to browse, wandering around, "she" finally found a suitable opening and took it, very carefully.

Snap!

"She" reached out and, in the end, slipped the hairpin into her own pocket.

"..."

Seeing this, Honami Ichinose started trembling all over again, because very soon her mother would force her to apologize. It would happen in just two days.

"Don't be so tense, Ichinose... Keep watching."

"I..."

"It's okay. The past is the past. If you want to beat it, you have to do it yourself, Ichinose."

"Mm..."

The next moment, the scene shifted again. After a few seconds, the boutique that had been empty was suddenly filled with people.

Is it happening?

Honami Ichinose's heart pounded faster and faster. She didn't dare keep watching, but Hikaru Naruse had a hand on her shoulder, so she couldn't look away.

In her field of vision, Honami Ichinose saw "herself" being brought back by her mother at last.

Her mother's normally gentle face was filled with anger and disappointment. Beyond that, there was a flicker of desperate loneliness and a ruthless, all-or-nothing resolve.

"She" could not, in the end, turn her mother around, and was dragged into the shop.

What came after was simple. Her mother spoke up on her own and confessed everything. The shop owner didn't even remember anyone stealing, and was actually somewhat surprised.

After the hairpin was returned, Honami remembered clearly what her mother did next.

"She" was about to be forced to kneel in front of everyone.

In front of the staff and every customer, she would drop to the floor in dogeza, bowing her forehead to the ground again and again as she said sorry.

Did she have to go through that humiliation all over again?

As these thoughts came to her and Honami Ichinose's body began to shake violently, Hikaru Naruse moved.

He took a single step forward to stand in front of Honami Ichinose, and swept the girl into his arms.

The next moment, the boy raised both hands and covered her eyes from the front.

"..."

"Naruse-san, what is this?"

"Ichinose, don't look yet. Just listen. If you want to overcome the memory, you can't run from it."

Held in Hikaru Naruse's arms, Honami Ichinose felt an even more overwhelming warmth, as if she had stepped into a noodle shop with the heating on after a cold, hungry night. Her whole body glowed with it.

"Can you still see?"

"No, I can't..."

"Then try remembering it first. See if you can get past that line."

"This is only a piece of the past. In some ways it shaped part of who you are, Ichinose, but it can't dictate your future."

"..."

Hikaru Naruse kept both hands over Honami Ichinose's eyes and spoke slowly.

"It's all right. Breathe deeply, then think it through."

"Everyone was just curious, or passing by. They weren't looking at you strangely. They just found it novel."

"You don't need to care what everyone thinks. You made one mistake, and you made up for it very quickly."

"Making mistakes isn't frightening... as long as you can fix them afterward."

"Ichinose..."

The boy's voice grew a little gentler still.

"Mm..."

Honami Ichinose suddenly reached out and wrapped her arms around Hikaru Naruse's waist.

If this is a dream, then let me be a little selfish, just for now.

"Have you started remembering?"

"I have..."

"Beat it."