Why I love what I do (and one thing I don't) (Patreon)

Hi, I'm Naughty Road, and I have no idea what I'm doing.

That was the first line I wrote on my Patreon profile when I created it, and I kept that up there for 6 years. A few months back, I finally took it off when I reworked my page, because I worried 'it might not communicate the right thing.'

And maybe it doesn't. But it's no less true today. I have literally no idea what I'm doing.

But I know why I'm doing it.

I love making these games, and putting them out there, and hearing that people enjoyed them. That they laughed at some stupid gag, or felt emotionally touched by a particular scene, or aroused, or both. I love that my games can make people feel those things and more.

Then there is this really special moment, when I'm putting a scene together, marrying images to dialog, honing the delivery and timing, and plugging in the camera movement, where the whole thing takes on a life of its own.

In some sense, it starts to leave me at that moment, no longer being a thing that lives in my head. It stops belonging to me, and starts to become its own thing, that will soon belong to you, the player, relying on you to bring it alive now, by playing it.

It's hard to explain, except maybe to call it the joy of creation? That sounds way too corny, but I think it's one of the best parts of doing what I do.

So that brings me to the thing I don't like about the job. I don't like having to compete in the maelstrom of the attention engine. Ignored it almost completely for most of those six years (at my own peril as it turned out), engaged with it grudgingly only, hoping the game would do the talking for me. The creation part is my happy place. Anything else feels like time misspent, even if that's not entirely true.

Last year has been a weird year, hasn't it? And I don't mean the good weird. For me personally, certainly, but I presume in other ways it has been so for many of us. The world seems to be getting crazier by the minute sometimes, and I know some that have gone crazy along with it, and some that have just tuned it all out so they don't follow suit.

So, why bring that up? Because I hope, in some sense, that the games I'm making give you and me both a bit of reprieve from all that. I know that I'm never happier than working on them and shutting all the noise out. And I hope that transfers to you when you play my games.

And you have been, and will always be, indispensable in making my games happen. These games couldn't have been made, and cannot continue to be made, without your help.

So, even after all this time, I still have no idea what I'm doing, but I'm hoping I can continue to count on you to help me figure it out.

I'm Naughty Road, and I make games.