''Where’d you hide the goods?'' (Patreon)

Lara Croft, survivor of a thousand death traps, was currently being defeated by her own nerve endings. Her hysterical shrieks were likely alerting every predator in the jungle that the world's greatest explorer was being brought down by a pair of wandering fingers. "This is absurd, Chloe!" Lara wheezed. Chloe didn't miss a beat, focusing on the arches of Lara's feet: "Call it what you want, darling, but I'm getting that treasure map."