East of Eve, Chapter 20 (Patreon)

Chapter 20

The next morning, Eve woke up in Lauren’s warm, cozy bed with a headache.  She opened her eyes to warm sunlight streaming in through Lauren’s blinds, which had been partially opened enough to let the light in, but still closed enough to maintain privacy.  Glancing around the bedroom, Eve could see that Lauren wasn’t there, and with a grimace she pushed herself up into a sitting position in the bed.  She was wearing a large, oversized white t-shirt, which she had borrowed from Lauren, and her black panties…that was it.  Her white homecoming dress lay sprawled out in the corner, sparkling in the late-morning sun, next to her 6-inch black platform heels, one standing, and one toppled over on its side.

Just looking at that dress, all the memories came flooding back in Eve’s mind – her dance with Ben, Jason acting like an unbelievable asshole, Eve abruptly leaving, her long, profound, much-needed conversation with Lauren, drinking waaaay too much whiskey, pigging out on the most timely order of fast food that she had ever eaten, falling asleep with Lauren to Fellowship of the Ring…all in all, what had started as a night of anger and embarrassment had ended up not so bad at all.

Eve turned to the nightstand to check her phone, and saw a handwritten note on top of it.  Next to the note were two pills and a very tall glass of water:

Good morrrrrning!  I’m out at the lake with William.  Take the two ibuprofen immediately, and chug all that water.  Don’t care if you don’t think you need to – drink it ALL.  Then go for a walk outside and get some breakfast in you.  Feel free to join us at the lake, but you may have other plans.  

Last night wasn’t a mistake.  Love you <3

Eve couldn’t help but smile, despite her headache, as she reached over for the pills and dutifully popped them in her mouth, chugging the entire glass of water just like Lauren had told her to do.  She really felt lucky to have a friend like Lauren, who she could go to and just…spill her guts like she had last night, without having to worry about anything.  For the next few minutes, Eve continued to just sit there in Lauren’s bed and wake up a little more, her mind going back over all the stuff they had talked about.  God, she had been pretty drunk…but really, not so drunk that she couldn’t remember things.  Lauren had been rather strict about limiting the amount of whiskey she drank once she started acting tipsy, and only after they had eaten all that food had she allowed Eve to have a little more.  By that point, though, Eve was good and sloshed, and all that food in her stomach had dissuaded her from drinking more than a couple additional swigs.  

‘Ugh, thank god Lauren was keeping tabs on me,’ Eve thought to herself, leaning back against the pillows and closing her eyes, trying to just ride out the worst of her headache before the ibuprofen kicked in, ‘If she had let me I would’ve drank like three times as much last night…’

With her eyes closed, she thought for a few minutes about all they had talked about – how Lauren had gently pressed her to talk more about Ben, and how Eve had just…well…totally taken off with it.  She really had told Lauren everything she felt about him, more even than she had known herself.  Their conversation had ended up being a kind of therapy session, and the whole thing had been so open-ended and freeing that a big part of Eve’s mind couldn’t even feel bad about it, even as the guilt began creeping in the more she woke up.

Last night wasn’t a mistake.

Of course Lauren had known exactly where her mind would be going right now.  Eve appreciated her friend’s proactive reassurance, but as she continued to lie there with her eyes closed, going over all that she had said, she wasn’t really sure if Lauren was right nor not.  She wanted to believe that all that stuff was just “getting it all out” in a cathartic kind of way, but she also couldn’t help but worry that she had spoken things into existence that hadn’t been there before, and that, by doing so, she had violated Jason’s trust.  

Jason…

Eve groaned and readjusted herself in bed, opening her eyes and staring up at the ceiling.  Even just thinking about him made her headache worse.  She had been having such a great time at the dance…feeling the energy of the music, actually letting herself go a little and dancing around…it had been so much FUN.  Her dance with Ben had been…well maybe it was best to not even think about it…the feel of his huge hands around her waist…the easy, natural conversation, the fact that the two of them just TOWERED over everyone else on the dance floor…

And then to learn that it was all because Jason had asked Ben to dance with her because he was using the bathroom and was afraid of someone else swooping in to swipe her up…and, worst of all, the stupid, ugly smile on Jason’s face as he laughed up at Ben, and then when he turned to her and said, openly, RIGHT in front of Ben himself: “I hope that wasn’t too painful for you.”

Was that even real!?  Had that actually happened??  Jason wasn’t like that…surely.  He wasn’t THAT clueless and full of himself and, just…arrogant and smug and vain.  That wasn’t the guy she had been dating for the last two years.  Sure, he had changed a little since they started going to college…had a few hiccups, awkward moments, even boneheaded moments like when he had insulted William in front of Lauren…but that wasn’t…all that wasn’t…him…

Eve’s thoughts trailed off into less concrete territory, and she lay there staring at the ceiling, trying to ignore her headache and just let her mind settle a bit.  It certainly didn’t help her feel any better to lie there thinking about all these things, but she didn’t feel ready to get out of bed yet.  Normally she would check her phone, but, as she thought more about Jason, she didn’t even want to look at it right now.  She knew that the first thing she’d see was all the missed calls from him, and probably a bunch of messages too, and maybe even a voicemail…or two…or three.

What had shocked her most was that, even after she had gotten visibly upset with him at the dance, Jason still didn’t seem to understand WHY.  That clueless, idiotic look on his face, far down below her, as she loomed over him, furious with him for what he had said about Ben.  In her mind, she tried to somehow wiggle her boyfriend out of the vice he had put himself in, but there was just no way around it – Jason HAD said that.  He really DID think that he was just that much more attractive and desirable than Ben, to the point where he had apologized to her for “making” her dance with Ben, just so that Jason could feel “safe” from the prospect of other guys “stealing” her while he took a piss.  It was all just layer upon layer of bullshit, so much so that Eve could feel herself getting worked up all over again, just from thinking about it.  

‘Okay, look…’ she thought to herself, suddenly sitting up straighter in Lauren’s bed, ‘Here’s what I’m gonna do – I’m gonna check my phone.  Once.  I’m gonna read anything Jason sent, and listen to anything he said.  Maybe he…I don’t know…maybe he apologized.  Maybe it was just him being, uhhh…awkward or something.  Anyway, I’m gonna hear him out, and then I’m gonna get up and start moving.  I’m not gonna just lie here and feel miserable.’

She felt her heart beating rapidly as she reached for her phone.  But why?  She felt almost…nervous…almost sick with nerves, in fact.  Maybe it was just the headache, but deep down, Eve knew that her anxiety wasn’t physical.  She was afraid of what she was going to read and listen to – not afraid of her boyfriend being upset or mad at her, but rather afraid that he hadn’t understood that he had been in the wrong.  

Picking up her phone, Eve swallowed and stared at the screen.  A procession of message notifications…all from Jason…interspersed with missed calls…also from Jason…and three voicemails.  Eve’s heart sank.

“God damn it,” she muttered, scrolling down to the first message, resolving to work her way up to the top.  It would have been so much better if there had only been one message, maybe one missed call.  But SEVEN messages…and THREE voicemails!?  This didn’t look good.  It didn’t look like Jason knew what was going on, what had happened – it looked instead like he was desperately trying to search HER for answers.  Eve sat back against the wall, still on Lauren’s bed, crossing her legs as she hunkered down to absorb the messages.  The first one was a voicemail, by the looks of it sent right after she stormed out of the dance:

“Eve, I…I have NO idea what’s going on right now.  You seriously just…LEFT the dance?  You’ve been looking forward to this for, like, weeks!  And you, uh…you seem super-pissed off at ME, for some reason?  I…look, I’m sorry if you feel like I just, you know, abandoned you on the dance floor like that, but I really had to pee and…and anyway, I even had Ben fill in so the creeps would get chased away, and that…that seemed to work, right!?  So I don’t get what you’re so upset about.  Call me back.  Oh…oh and I love you.”

The first message ended and Eve sat there with slumped shoulders, almost feeling sick.  He really didn’t have a clue, did he?  Was this seriously what Jason had become!?  Had she somehow misheard what he had said before??  No…no she hadn’t.  THAT much was certain.  Part of her wanted to get up right now and just get her day moving, but, more out of force of habit than anything else, she scrolled up to the second voicemail, which Jason had left about twenty minutes later, apparently after thinking through things a bit.  His tone was much lighter and happier, like he had finally seen the light:

“Okay Eve, look…I’ve…I’ve been thinking about what happened, and…all right, I think I realize what’s gotten you all pissed off.  It wasn’t right of me to choose Ben to stave off all those guys.  I was kinda panicking in the moment and really had to pee and…I really didn’t think it through.  I didn’t even consider that having Ben dance with you would, you know, like, totally call attention to your height and everything, and make everyone turn and look.  Aaaand of course, you probably didn’t like it when everyone had their eyes on you like that…sorta unwanted attention, right?  Heheh.  Not that Ben isn’t a chill guy and everything, but it’s not like you asked for the spotlight to be on you and him like that.  In that sorta….you know…intimate way.  And then of course the DJ just HAD to call you both out in front of everyone, like you were a COUPLE for godsakes…and then everyone clapped!?  Oh god.  Yeah, Eve, I can totally understand why you’d be embarrassed.  And pissed!  That’s on me, okay?  That’s totally my fault.  I shoulda picked another one of my friends to swoop in and save you…maybe one who was a little smaller and a lot less…well…you know.  Aaaaanyway I’m sorry babe.  Like I said, totally my fault.  Call me back, okay?  Maybe we can go get ice cream somewhere.  My treat?  Okay mwah talk to ya soon!”

The beep ended the voicemail, and Eve just sat there on Lauren’s bed, staring straight ahead, completely dumbfounded.  For a few seconds nothing could coalesce in her mind, and, on a primal level, she simply stared at the warm, golden sunbeams that were shining through the partially-open blinds, as the distant, muffled sounds of campus hummed in the background.  Everything seemed briefly suspended in midair, like the tiny little flecks of dust that occasionally passed through the sunbeams on their lazy way down to the carpet below.  

Her worst fears had been realized.  Not only had Jason been a total asshole initially, he had actually, upon reflection, DOUBLED DOWN on the exact behavior that had made Eve so angry in the first place.  And the worst part was, he had done it all without even realizing it.  His carefully thought-out rationalization was so wide of the mark that it would have been comical if it hadn’t been so infuriating.  Unwanted attention!?  Jason had no idea how wrong he was – Eve had actually RELISHED the feeling of all those eyes on her and Ben as they slow-danced.  She had actually felt SAFE…and maybe even a little aroused by the upturned eyes of all those “little” people below them, especially the 6’2 and 6’4 guys who ordinarily might have been a little intimidating to her, particularly in that context.  But standing over 6’7 in those heels, slow-dancing with Ben, who was over 6’10 in his loafers?  She had felt like she and Ben were standouts, exceptional, on top of the world.  It had been a GOOD feeling, a feeling that she had never experienced before, an entirely unique feeling that wouldn’t have been possible with a man, even at 6’10, who didn’t have the same easy poise and quiet confidence that Ben possessed.  

And then Jason’s message had just gotten grosser.  Another friend to “swoop in and save her”...?!  But the real kicker was at the end – when Jason reflected that he should have picked someone different to dance with her, “maybe one who was a little smaller and a lot less…well…you know.”

‘He means ugly,’ Eve thought to herself, staring forward into the black screen of Lauren’s TV across the bedroom, ‘He thinks I was pissed at him because he “made” me dance with Ben, and that I was embarrassed to be seen dancing with someone…ugly.’

She felt a heaviness weighing her down as she continued staring straight ahead into the black TV screen, where she saw a shadowy, indistinct reflection of herself sitting there with slumped shoulders.  She wasn’t even thinking about her headache anymore.  How on earth had she gotten to this point, where her boyfriend was behaving like this!?

‘I didn’t get to this point,’ she thought to herself savagely, the anger beginning to boil inside her again, ‘This is all on Jason.  He’s the one who decided to start acting so…clueless and arrogant and just…ugly.’

There was no other word for it.  Eve had never thought that Jason could be capable of this kind of behavior, but that last text had truly confirmed what she had been afraid of.  Jason wasn’t just acting like an asshole…he WAS an asshole.  

‘Or…at least…he’s been acting like one for a few weeks,’ Eve thought quickly to herself, retreating the more damning thoughts back into her mind as she struggled to give her boyfriend the benefit of the doubt, ‘I mean…yeah he was all whiny about the heels, and yes he was a jerk to William, and…and he’s been acting so passive and submissive with me recently, but…ugh, maybe it’s all just him having trouble adjusting to college.  I should be helping him, not piling on.’

But how could she help him?  Eve didn’t really have any quick answers.  But she knew that, one way or the other, she couldn’t just let what happened last night slide.  She NEEDED to talk to him about it, and about why he had made her so angry.  It seemed totally absurd to her that she even needed to spell it out for him, but the alternative would be just not speaking to him…cutting him off…cutting him loose.

‘That’d be fine,’ said a voice in her head, ‘That’d be JUST fine…then you could hang out more with Ben without having to feel guilty.’

Eve quickly smacked her thighs (loving how much they jiggled these days) as she roused herself, finally getting up off Lauren’s bed.  That was enough musing for one late-morning hangover.  Lauren was right – she needed to get moving, get some sunshine, get some food in her.  She didn’t want to keep turning all this stuff over in her head right now; it was too upsetting.  The mere fact that her mind had even gone there, to the potential of breaking up with her boyfriend of over two years, was stunning in and of itself.  Eve had never seriously considered such a thing before, and the prospect of breaking that kind of news to Jason was unbearable.  He would be so deeply hurt that it literally made her sick to contemplate it.  So she wouldn’t.  Why was she so quick to go there mentally, anyway?  Why couldn’t she just patch things up with Jason and set him straight and also be friends with Ben and just…let everything proceed happily along?  Nothing was preventing that.  Nothing within her control, at least.  

“So just quit ruminating!” she muttered out loud to herself, before stopping dead in the middle of Lauren’s bedroom as her eyes fell on her white homecoming dress.  She didn’t have anything else to wear.  No way was she gonna put that on and strut around campus the morning after the dance…how silly would that be?!  But then she saw another handwritten note from Lauren, this one posted on the inside of the bedroom door:

Wear some of my soffes – second drawer to the left.  You’re gettin’ thick, they should actually fit you.  None of my shoes will fit you, except those high-top purple wedge sneakers in the closet.  Women’s size 11, perfect for you.  Gift from my cousin who thought I was a giant, lol.  Just leave your dress and heels here, I’ll drop em’ off at your place later.  No need to lug them all over campus.  Sayonara!

Eve chuckled to herself, shaking her head.  Lauren really was looking out for her, wasn’t she?  A few minutes later Eve had just tied the wedge sneakers and stood up.  She actually had to reach out and catch herself against the door frame, since she hadn’t anticipated feeling so tall compared to everything.  Maybe she should have, because the high-top wedges gave her an extra 4-inch boost, which made her an impressive 6’5.  Eve regained her balance and stepped back from the door, so that she could see herself in the full-length mirror.  Her wavy, shoulder-length chestnut-brown hair looked a bit ruffled, but, in a way, its slightly-bedraggled appearance didn’t seem to look so bad.  It almost made her look…edgy, or something.  Or maybe that was the purple high-top wedge sneakers.  Either way, she was actually surprised by how good she looked.  Her full thighs stretched out Lauren’s black soffes, to the point where Eve actually wondered if her thighs, at their thickest point, were almost as big as Lauren’s.  Such a thing wouldn’t have been imaginable a year or so ago, when Eve felt like she was a string bean, especially compared to Lauren, who had been muscular and thick for years and years, really ever since Eve had known her.  The oversize white t-shirt actually worked as a kind of effortless, trendy-looking compliment to everything else in her “outfit.”

‘Psssh, look at me,’ thought Eve to herself, rolling her eyes, ‘Posing in front of Lauren’s mirror, wearing Lauren’s clothes, acting like I look good.  I’m just hungover.  Need to get moving.’

She had already decided what she was going to do about Jason – after going to the bathroom, she had read the rest of his messages and listened to the last voicemail, none of which had anything new to say.  The messages at the end were downright pitiful, with Jason starting to beg: “Babe, pleeeeease text me back, I’m starting to worry,” not to mention the final voicemail, which, though mercifully short, was no less painful to listen to: “I’m so confused babe…I don’t understand…where are you?  I went back to your place and you’re not there…or at least not answering the door…please call me back.  I…I just want to understand.  Okay mwah love you, mean it.”

He was going to understand, alright.  Once she worked out the cobwebs of the hangover, went on a walk, and got some breakfast in her, she was going to hit him up, sit down with him, and have a very frank conversation.  She wasn’t going to be accusatory or overly emotional, she had already decided.  She was just going to explain, in simple terms, why he had made her so angry.  And…she was trying not to think about this, but…the way that Jason reacted to what she had to say would determine a lot.  She hadn’t decided how she would behave if he reacted badly, but at this point she had just decided to trust her instincts.  Anything was better than lying here, stewing in her own thoughts, even if the actual space was lovely.  She just…loved Lauren so much.  And, looking around her friend’s bedroom, she felt a sudden and special emotional attachment to it.  She had been in this room a number of times before already, but nothing like last night.  That conversation she had had with Lauren, the heart-to-heart, the frankness, the openness, the trust…the FOOD…Fellowship of the Ring!  Lauren really had managed to turn a potentially terrible night into, strangely, one of the best Eve had had since she started college.  When had she fallen asleep in the movie?  Right when the ringwraiths had chased the hobbits to Buckleberry Ferry?  She loved the lighting in that part…

Eve’s thoughts trailed off happily as she moved to leave, but then her eyes fell upon the scale next to the door.  She had weighed herself last night hadn’t she?  How heavy had she been again?  163?  That seemed pretty light compared to Lauren’s 187, and yet still, it was much heavier than she had ever been before.  Curious as to how much she weighed now, after all that food and booze from the previous night, Eve stepped carefully on the scale with the wedge sneakers, feeling a strange kind of excitement flit over her as she did so.  The number scrambled and suddenly blinked up at her in blue, and Eve’s mouth dropped open.

173.8.

“What!?” she gasped out loud, immediately stepping off the scale and staring at the number.  There was just no way.  Of course it was because of the wedge sneakers she was wearing, right?  They were pretty bulky.  Eve found herself quickly bending down to unlace them.  She was too curious now.  She had to see what she actually weighed.  Normally, she would have expected to be horrified by such a high number, but she was quickly realizing that her initial exclamation was not one of negativity…but rather, excitement.  Was she really this excited to be getting…bigger?  Thicker?  

‘Who cares, anyway?’ she thought to herself, stepping out of the sneakers and standing on the scale again, looking up at the ceiling, enjoying the self-made spectacle of waiting out the verdict, ‘I look better than I ever have, and I FEEL better than I ever have…physically, at least.  Maybe I should’ve been gaining this weight all along.  Besides, they have that term “freshmen fifteen” for a reason, right?”

Her heart was beating faster in her chest as she looked back down at the measurement.

165.9.

“Holy shit,” she chuckled to herself, her eyes widening as the strange feeling of almost diabolical excitement washed over her.  She had gained almost FIVE pounds since last night!?  

‘Well…we DID eat a shitton of food,’ she reminded herself, ‘And Lauren probably made me swig like a gallon of water, so…yeah…’

She stepped off the scale, put the sneakers back on, and checked herself out in the mirror again, doing a 360-spin for good measure.  She definitely looked thicker, and she even noticed how her ass and thighs jiggled around with her movements.  But Eve made eye contact with herself and smiled.  A year ago she would have felt VERY uncomfortable being so heavy, and dressed up like this.  But now…she actually felt SEXY.  And that wasn’t so bad, right?  Striding out of her best friend’s dorm, after the heaviest night she’d ever spent drinking, actually feeling sexy?

‘I’ll take it,’ Eve smiled inwardly, again reminding herself that she needed to really do something nice for Lauren to thank her for being there for her, during a difficult time, and of course to thank her for the hangover advice.  As Eve locked Lauren’s door (with a spare key that Lauren had left her) and strode out into the sun, her headache was already almost completely gone.  The sun on her face felt so good…rejuvenating.  She would go straight to the dining hall to get some breakfast; she could even feel her stomach growling a little in hunger.  And maybe…just maybe…she couldn’t help but wonder…she might run into Ben.