"2mm Mmm Mmm Mmm" (1995, Unreleased Single) (Patreon)

Long rumored to exist, this first ever "sequel song" was discovered by musicologist Andy Davis in a fireproof safe belonging to Vince Lambert, original drummer for the Crash Test Dummies. The song was written by frontman Brad Roberts as an apology to his classmates, whose traumas he used without permission in his hit song, "Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm." Lambert hated the idea of apologizing, arguing that Roberts' classmates were now "immortal," and would "live forever through his incredible drumming." Roberts disagreed, and a fistfight ensued that permanently damaged Roberts' vocal chords, creating the signature bass-baritone voice that would later make the band famous. Lambert was fired, but as a final act of revenge, he sealed "2mm Mmm Mmm Mmm" away, vowing to release it during Earth's greatest hour of need. But we found it, so we're putting it on Patreon, and if anyone has a problem with that, they can sit on this and rotate. You can't see it, but we're pointing to our thumb. Anyway, special thanks to archivist Grant Mooney, who blew a thick layer of dust off the unearthed master, then coughed a bunch.