Chapter 31 (Patreon)

The instant Naruto finished speaking, more than a hundred hostile stares turned toward him. The room was suddenly thick with killing intent.

Sakura caught him around the neck from behind.

“Naruto! What are you saying? You're going to get us into trouble!”

With Sakura standing so close behind him, Naruto leaned back against her.

“But it's true!”

Sakura noticed what he was doing, blushed, and quickly let go.

Sasuke wanted to tell him off too. But the memory of losing to Naruto six times stopped him. He settled for a quiet, irritated snort.

Just then, three figures burst out of the crowd and rushed toward the front of the classroom.

The nine rookies tensed. For a moment, it looked as though Naruto's words had finally provoked someone into attacking him.

But the three ninja went straight past him.

Their target was Kabuto.

While playing the helpful senior, Kabuto had casually described Otogakure as a tiny ninja village that had only recently been established.

Apparently, that perfectly accurate description had offended the three Sound ninja enough to make them want him dead.

Naruto could almost imagine the complaints Kabuto was keeping to himself.

Orochimaru-sama sent you three after Sasuke. Why are you attacking me instead?

Of course, none of them knew that the man they were attacking was one of Orochimaru's closest assistants. If they had, they would probably have thought twice about laying a hand on him.

They also had no idea that Orochimaru himself was disguised as one of the candidates, watching the whole thing with interest.

Naruto couldn't help laughing.

Kabuto, meanwhile, had to swallow his irritation and keep up the act. He suppressed his instinct to evade or counterattack, giving the three Sound ninja every opportunity to make themselves look dangerous.

When the sound-based attack struck him, his glasses shattered. He bent over and vomited.

That was quite a performance, considering he had helped Orochimaru develop the very sound ninjutsu being used against him.

Naruto shook his head as he watched the three Sound ninja swagger about.

No wonder two of them had ended up as sacrifices for the Reanimation Jutsu in the original story. Perhaps getting on Kabuto's bad side had something to do with it.

These three really had no idea who they were provoking.

A large cloud of smoke suddenly erupted at the front of the classroom.

“That's enough, you brats! Settle down!”

The room fell silent at once.

Ibiki Morino, the examiner in charge of the first test, stood at the front with a group of proctors behind him.

You were watching from outside this whole time, weren't you? Finally had your fill?

Naruto scoffed inwardly.

With that, preparations for the written exam began.

Naruto took his assigned number and found his seat near the front. Then he turned toward the girl beside him, smiling.

Hinata. His future wife.

“Hey, future wife. Can you help me with something?”

Certain she wouldn't refuse, he slipped his right hand beneath the desk before she could answer and brought out a small, adorable tabby cat.

He placed it on Hinata's slender shoulder, then raised his eyebrows at her.

“Thanks! I knew I could count on my future wife.”

Hinata lowered her head, her cheeks turning red.

“L-let's do our best, Naruto-kun...”

“Sure! And don't worry too much about this test, Hinata. I'll look after you in the second one!”

Once everyone had taken their seats and received their papers, Ibiki began explaining the rules.

“Each candidate starts with ten points. There are ten questions, and you'll lose one point for every incorrect answer.”

Sakura glanced toward Naruto's seat, unable to resist a moment of smug satisfaction.

Naruto will probably get a zero. I'll get full marks and pass without any trouble.

He had beaten Sasuke repeatedly since graduation, but fighting ability and written exams were two very different things.

After six years together at the Academy, she knew exactly how Naruto usually performed on a test.

“Whether you pass will be determined by the combined scores of all three members of your team.”

Sakura's forehead dropped onto her desk.

So much for passing without any trouble.

“If a proctor catches you cheating, you'll lose two points each time. Some of you may reach zero and be eliminated before you even finish answering the questions.”

Ibiki paused, looking over the room.

“You're ninja. Take this exam as ninja should.”

There was something deliberate about the way he said it.

Sakura was too busy calculating their possible scores to dwell on that.

If Sasuke-kun and I score high enough, we should still pass even if Naruto gets a zero... right?

“If any member of a team finishes with zero points, the entire team will fail.”

Sakura and Sasuke both stiffened.

Their eyes immediately turned toward Naruto, their stares so fierce they could have burned holes through his back.

“The tenth question will be given forty-five minutes after the exam begins.”

Ibiki surveyed the candidates one last time.

“You have one hour. Begin!”

Everyone lowered their heads to examine the papers in front of them.

Naruto already knew what the test was really meant to assess. Even so, he was curious about the questions ninja were expected to answer.

He picked up his pen and studied the paper. For a moment, it felt like he was sitting an exam in his previous life again.

Following his old habit, he decided to answer the easy questions first and leave the difficult ones until the end.

The first question involved deciphering a coded message.

A code? Does Morse code count? No? Next question.

The second question showed a parabolic trajectory in Figure 1, with ninja B standing on a seven-meter-high tree. Figure 2 showed the maximum range of ninja A's shuriken. From that information, the candidate was supposed to determine the characteristics of the enemy ninja.

This looks like one of those ridiculous problems elementary school kids had to solve in my old world! I can't do this. Next!

The third question asked for an analysis of mechanical energy.

Mechanics? If I kick someone and my foot hurts too, does that count? No? Next question!

The rest wasn't any better.

Question eight involved aromatic compounds.

No chance.

Question nine...

Still nothing.

Naruto put down his pen and looked up with a helpless smile.

“So I can't even pass a ninja's written exam...”

Sasuke had reached much the same conclusion. He couldn't answer a single question either.

Even Sakura, who usually excelled at written tests, found the questions unusually difficult. She suspected she might be the only person in the room who could answer all of them.

Before long, both she and Sasuke realized something was wrong with the test—and worked out what the examiners were actually looking for.

Other candidates began reaching the same conclusion.

The classroom soon became a demonstration of just how many ways ninja could cheat.

There were the simpler methods: using a pet dog, listening carefully to the sounds of writing, sending insects to spy on other papers, or watching reflected images.

Then came the more advanced techniques.

The Byakugan could see through obstacles. The Sharingan could copy another person's movements. Ino used the Mind Transfer Jutsu to enter Sakura's body, while Gaara observed the room with his Third Eye.

And then there was Kankurō.

He raised his hand and asked to use the restroom. A proctor escorted him out.

Once they reached the restroom, the escort dropped its disguise.

It was one of Kankurō's puppets. He had disguised it as a proctor and slipped it in among the real examiners before the test began.

What Naruto really wanted to know, though, was how Orochimaru was getting his answers while pretending to be an ordinary candidate.

Around the room, candidates were steadily being eliminated.

Some had to be dragged out, crying and protesting. Others challenged the proctors' decisions, only to be swiftly put in their place.

When Hinata finished her paper, she quietly offered to let Naruto copy her answers.

He declined with a smile and pointed at the tabby cat resting on her shoulder.

With a soft pop, the little cat vanished in a puff of smoke.

At the same instant, everything it had seen—including the answers on Hinata's paper—returned to Naruto's mind.

The Shadow Clone Jutsu and Transformation Jutsu were, after all, the techniques he was best at.

Before long, Ibiki announced that it was time for the final question.

But first, the candidates had to decide whether they would attempt it at all.

Anyone who refused would be eliminated immediately, along with both teammates, and would have to leave the room.

Anyone who chose to attempt the question and answered incorrectly would condemn the entire team to remain genin for the rest of their lives.

It was an interrogation tactic. Ibiki was using the threat of a devastating consequence to place the candidates under intense psychological pressure.

And it worked.

Soon after he finished explaining, hands began rising around the room. One candidate after another chose to withdraw rather than risk answering the tenth question.

Naruto was immediately displeased.

To him, every candidate who left was a chance to earn points disappearing through the door.

If they all quit now, who am I supposed to kill for points in the second test?