Chapter 11: The Archery Club Invitation (Patreon)

"Emiya, you..."

"As you can see, I had a little accident at my part-time job..." Shirou replied with a wry smile.

"So?"

Shirou lowered his head. "Shinji! I'm begging you! Join the archery club and compete in my place! I don't want to hold the club back because of me."

Seeing Shirou like this, Shinji's mouth twitched. He gave Shirou a look that clearly said, Are you freaking kidding me? After a long silence, he finally organized his thoughts and spoke.

"Emiya, to be honest, I'm happy that you, who's always doing things for others, can finally ask for a favor yourself. But... forget that I have no time right now, even if I did, I've never even touched a bow!"

"Shinji! You can definitely do it! Remember when we went hiking and you hit birds every time by throwing sticks?! With that kind of aim, you can absolutely do it!" Shirou's eyes were utterly straightforward and serious.

"That's completely different!" Shinji retorted loudly, then sighed and pressed his fingers to his forehead. "Emiya, it might sound strange coming from someone who's never done kyudo, but... are you sure you aren't underestimating it?"

"Indeed, I'm suddenly getting that feeling too, Emiya-kun."

The girl sitting beside Shirou, about sixteen or seventeen years old with a lovely face that turned heads even without much effort, spoke up. She had shoulder-length, clean short brown hair that gave her a spirited, handsome look, with matching brown eyes. She was dressed in light blue denim shorts and a pink top, propping her cheek on her hand as she glanced sideways at Shirou.

Her name was Mitsuzuri... ahem, Ayako. A first-year in the archery club, and its future captain and ace.

"Mitsuzuri, that's not what I meant," Shirou hurriedly explained, turning back to Shinji. "Shinji is different from other people. If it's him, he can definitely do it."

"What exactly do you think you know about me?" Shinji muttered under his breath, utterly exasperated. He then waved a hand dismissively, his expression turning flippant. "Anyway, absolutely not. I have a lot of things to do."

"Matou-kun..."

The boy sitting next to Shinji, closer to the aisle, spoke up. He had short purple hair, round glasses, a refined, scholarly air, and was dressed in neat casual wear. He adjusted his glasses; his voice, carrying a slight dialectical lilt, held a surprisingly high degree of maturity and steadiness.

"I'd like to have a serious talk with you about your attendance record last semester, as well as the matter of you skipping class for a full week right after the new term started..."

Before the bespectacled boy—Ryuudou Issei—could finish, Shinji cut him off irritably. "Hey, hey, Emiya, you've even learned to use such underhanded tactics now? Using Issei, who thinks he has leverage over me, as a persuader? You think that will make me yield? No! You're thinking too highly of it! I have so many of these kinds of 'leverages' I can't even count them all! These things are no different from hiding adult magazines. I don't care about them in the slightest!"

Shirou explained, "No, you've got it wrong, Shinji. I just ran into Issei on the way here."

"That's right! It has nothing to do with Emiya-kun!" Issei, the fiercely protective friend, took over seriously, then cast a cool glance at Shinji. "Matou, bringing adult contraband to school is a complete violation of school regulations. Do you know the consequences?"

"Suspension and self-reflection." With that, Shinji stood up and bowed deeply to Issei. "Thank you, Issei."

"Do you not feel even a shred of remorse or regret?!"

"Hmph," Shinji let out a light snort, crossing his arms with a look of complete indifference. "Sorry, not at all! You must understand, adult magazines are a necessity for adolescent boys! In other words, it's like the relationship between water and the source of life for humans! It's essential spiritual nourishment for teenage boys. Is it a sin for humans to drink water?!"

Seeing Shinji's utterly unapologetic attitude, even the usually calm and steady Issei couldn't help but complain: "That's completely different! Should I send you back to the temple for another training period?"

"Can I secretly bring adult magazines?"

"Will you knock it off?!"

"Pfft... hahahahaha!" At this point, Mitsuzuri, who had been quietly watching the two, suddenly burst into uncontrollable laughter. She laughed so hard tears came to her eyes, yet she couldn't stop. "Emiya-kun, this guy is hilarious. Even more fun than you said. Having someone like this in the archery club would definitely be interesting."

"And you are?" Shinji asked.

"You don't even remember your own classmates?" Shirou said dryly.

"Hello. Mitsuzuri Ayako, your classmate. Matou Shinji-kun."

"I see." Shinji nodded, then propped his chin on his hand, staring thoughtfully at Mitsuzuri's outstretched hand with a furrowed brow. "So, you want an autograph? I can do that, but I didn't bring a pen. Can I give it to you next time?"

Mitsuzuri's face darkened, but the next moment, she revealed a smile as warm as the morning sun. Looking at Shirou, she said, "Emiya-kun, we absolutely have to get this guy into the archery club. I'm super interested in him."

"Mitsuzuri, I told you, Shinji loves to joke around. If you take this stuff too seriously, it'll never end."

"Really now," Shinji spread his hands, raising his eyebrows with an expression of utter helplessness. "Girls these days are so bold, actually telling a guy they just met that they're interested in him. You know, even someone like me gets a little embarrassed by this sort of thing. Anyway, Ryogi-san, I'll consider it carefully. Please wait patiently for my formal reply."

"Hey. Emiya-kun, can I hit him? Also, this person completely failed to remember my name. Not a single character."

"Yoshi, decided!" At that moment, Shinji seemed to have a sudden idea. He grinned and leaned slightly towards Mitsuzuri. "It's not completely impossible for me to join. The condition is... Ryogi-san, you have to be my girlfriend."

"Sorry. My name is Mitsuzuri Ayako." Mitsuzuri maintained her sweet smile. "And, if you truly are the genius Emiya-kun says you are and demonstrate that talent after joining the archery club, I might give you a chance to pursue me."

"Ah, is that so?" Shinji's expression instantly switched to one of utter disinterest. He waved a hand dismissively and made to leave. "Sorry, suddenly I've lost all interest. Goodbye."

Mitsuzuri could no longer hold back. She shot to her feet. "You, stop right there! And what was that infuriating change in attitude all about?!"

"What do you mean, 'what was it about'?" Shinji gave a light shrug, replying casually. "Do you even have to ask? It's common knowledge that a woman who sets conditions is hardly a good match."

At this moment, a certain black-haired, twin-tailed girl hiding in a secluded booth in the café, her face covered by a newspaper, nearly spat out her drink.

"You were the one who joked and set conditions first!!" Mitsuzuri retorted.

"Was I?" Shinji put on an expression of pure, innocent confusion and tilted his head.

"Please, just one punch! Let me punch him just once! Emiya-kun!"

"Hey, even if you ask me, I can't..." Shirou could only offer an awkward laugh.

Finally, Shinji turned serious. He gave a light shrug, spread his hands, and continued nonchalantly, "Anyway, if I'm not interested, I'm just not interested. And unlike you, Emiya, I'm not the kind of hopeless do-gooder who exhausts himself helping anyone who asks. Comparatively speaking, I'm just a very selfish and ordinary person."