Chapter 16: Uniform Debate (Patreon)

[Now, now, dear grandson, don’t fret. What’s meant to come will come.]

You shut up! Isn’t this all your fault?!

"See? Even you can’t deny the possibility, Matou-kun."

"Ayase... I mean, Midori-san," Shinji propped his chin on his hand, adopting a thoughtful expression. "I just suddenly realized that, as a teenage boy, it would be a total failure to go through high school without experiencing even one romance."

"And this is your latest whim, I presume?"

"Anyway, I’ve decided!" Shinji clenched his fist, a look of intense determination on his face as he announced his plan.

"—Starting now, I’m going to confess to the first girl who walks by! No matter who it is!"

"Your whims are really..." Ayako’s eye twitched, but then she noticed something. "Oh! Here comes one! Matou-kun! A girl!"

"Leave the rest to me!" Shinji gave her a thumbs-up, took a deep breath, turned around, and immediately launched into his speech:
"I don’t know your name, but please believe this is fate! So please, go out with—"

He didn’t even finish the sentence before realizing the girl in front of him looked familiar—especially those iconic twin tails.

A sense of impending doom washed over him. Shinji instantly spun back around, clearing his throat.

"Ahem, you know what? Practicing confessions in the hallway probably isn’t appropriate after all. Don’t you think so, Midori-san?"

"Huh? Practicing? Since when was this practice?" Ayako asked, completely ignoring Shinji’s frantic eye signals. "Weren’t you just saying you’d confess to the first girl who walked by, Matou-kun?"

"Ayase, are you doing this on purpose?"

"No, I’m just stating the facts."

"Ma. Tou. Shi. n. ji!!"

The sound of Rin’s voice, gritted out from between her teeth behind him, made Shinji instantly regret his life choices.

Why, of all people, did it have to be her?

...

Watching Shinji clutching his stomach and curled up on the floor, Ayako crouched down beside him. "You okay, Matou-kun?"

"Yeah... basically fine," Shinji managed weakly, trembling as he lifted his head.

"So that rumor is true after all."

"Rumor? What rumor?" Shinji asked, slowly pushing himself up.

Ayako also stood, turning to look at Rin’s retreating, visibly furious back. She spoke slowly, "The rumor that the most popular guy in school once confessed to the most popular girl back in middle school."

"Huh?" Shinji was confused. "So who are this ‘most popular guy’ and ‘most popular girl’?"

"Seriously? You don’t even know that much?" Ayako’s eye twitched again.

"Know?" Shinji thought for a long moment before it finally dawned on him. He pointed a finger at his own chest, a look of pure bewilderment on his face. "You mean... me?"

"You really didn’t know?"

"Well, I haven’t been to school much. But that’s really strange."

"Is it strange that you’re popular with girls despite rarely coming to school?"

"No, it’s strange that that expired twin-ta— I mean, Tohsaka, is the most popular girl."

"Suddenly, I think I understand why Tohsaka-san dislikes you so much."

"Hey, what do you mean by ‘expired twin tails’? Care to explain, Matou-kun?"

Hearing the question from behind him, Shinji answered without thinking:

"Isn’t it obvious? The appeal of twin tails as a ‘moe’ attribute only works until you’re, like, ten-X years old! After that, it’s just not cute anymore! Ayase, why are you glaring at me? Am I wrong?"

Ahem. "Well, anyway, I need to get to club. I’ll let the president and the teacher know you’re quitting."

With that, Ayako quickly walked away. At the same time, Shinji finally realized who exactly had asked that question from behind him.

He turned his head to see Rin, her eyes curved into smiling crescents, a sweet smile plastered on her face. Several sweatdrops slowly materialized on his forehead and under his eyes.

...This is a really bad situation.

And so, the pair of “arch-rivals” that would be gossiped about for a long time at Homurahara Academy High School was officially formed.

...

After that, the seasons turned, and three months passed in the blink of an eye. With the passing of autumn, Shirou’s injuries had mostly healed completely.

The cool, crisp weather also gradually faded away with autumn’s departure.

On a slightly chilly morning, Shirou, having just arrived at the school gate, spotted Shinji standing motionless outside the school gates, wearing a brown wool coat over his uniform. He walked over.

"Shinji, I want to talk to you about Sakura—"

"Emiya." Shinji interrupted without turning around, his voice a soft murmur.

"Huh? What is it?"

"The girls’ autumn uniform," Shinji began, turning his head with an expression of utmost seriousness. "The skirts are definitely too long! They’d be perfect if they were twenty centimeters shorter!"

Seeing Shinji’s dead-serious face, Shirou broke out in a cold sweat. "How can you say something like that with such a straight face? And is that really what you were thinking about, standing at the school gate?"

"Emiya! Are you saying I’m wrong?!"

Shirou’s face flushed bright red as he vehemently retorted, "Completely wrong! And why are you asking me to answer something like that?!"

"Any real man would agree with me! Especially in a school full of teenage boys!"

"Isn’t your definition of ‘man’ a little off?"

"Aren’t they just filled with sticky, pink fantasies all day long?"

"Absolutely not!"

"Hey, you!" Shinji suddenly called out to a passing male student. "Don’t you want a girlfriend and a rosy, pink high school life?"

The boy’s face instantly turned crimson, and he began fidgeting nervously.

"See, Emiya? This is the proof!" Shinji declared, slinging an arm around the bewildered boy’s shoulders. "Everyone’s just like this guy! They’re just too embarrassed to say it out loud!"

"I said that’s not it!" Shirou argued, his face still red. "And can’t you at least consider the time and place when you talk about this stuff? Shouting things like that at the school gate, are you serious? Because of you, I’m getting weird looks too!"

"Emiya, that’s just a man’s true nature! When will you learn to accept your real self?! Stop lying to yourself, Emiya!"

"Will you just shut up?!" Shirou finally snapped, grabbing his head in frustration.

"Causing a commotion in front of the school first thing in the morning! What is the meaning of this, Emiya, Matou!"

Seeing Issei approach and stop before them, Shirou raised a hand wearily. "Morning, Issei. Shinji here was just saying some strange—"

Before Shirou could finish, Shinji stepped forward, his eyes serious. "Issei, I have a suggestion regarding the school uniforms."

"Oh?"

"Don’t you think the skirts for the girls’ uniforms, both summer and autumn, are a bit too long?"

"Is that so?" Issei adjusted his glasses, then promptly pulled out a wooden disciplinary stick from his bag like a temple staff. "Have you forgotten all your training at the temple?!"

"You even brought that with you?!"

"I prepared it especially for you!"