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Ep. 8 Year of Kindness (Patreon)

Published:
2025-10-29 19:30:02
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2026-06
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Content

Recorded on: October 24th, 2025


Obama Winning the Nobel Peace Prize
The Primeagen Episode
It's tough right now
People's agency
Vox Partnership
Israel / Palestine Ep.

Comments

Steven Dessers

This episode represent whats going on in the world right now no? Extreme division among ppl about EVERYTHING. There is no middleground anymore, extreme thought all the time. And that effect everything in life at the moment. Its all around the world, but I feel like the USA is extreme in all of the extremes, if that makes any sense. I live in Europe so we have a history of extremes. :) But I feel like ppl on both sides of the political spectrum still can talk to each other... And I give the example of politics because I do think the division starts there, and then trickels down into everything else. Its like Anakin said : If you're not with me, then you're my enemy, I would say, read the 4th turning or listen to Neil Howe(the writer) on one of many pods he did... May try to get him on this pod?! Just another cycle basically...

Julio Cubillas Flores

Hey Doug, I left a comment that did criticize Prime and I still do stand by it. But I do understand your point and it was quite inspiring to hear you talk about hard work. Cheers.

Thransk

Work hard to maximize the number of opportunities that come your way. It's never a guarantee, but trying to increase your odds is the rational thing to do.

Gwin Pro

the “emotional evocativeness” as aiden says was so present in me that i saw this patreon post on the prime episode, subscribed just so i could hear the reaction to the comments, then realized that this episode was only for the premium tier, then spent an additional 10 dollars to finally hear the episode.

anon

I appreciate the discussion about the episode with Primeagen. I think your earlier episode about hard work vs. luck gives a lot context to the thoughts on this. Respectfully, I still think it is frustrating to hear the “work harder” rhetoric (even just in the context of tech) when it feels like it is frequently used by older generations to (1) blame younger people for growing inequality and (2) avoid doing anything to meaningfully address the problem. I worked more than full time during both undergrad and evening law school while doing unpaid internships during every break to be in the field I wanted. I’m still scared about AI and what it means for my career. Of course hard work and personal agency matter but you can work incredibly hard and still get your career upended by changing tech. If what is at stake is your livelihood, your healthcare, or the stability of your family, it’s hard to comfort yourself with the possibility that hard work might pay off (especially if you already worked very hard to get to where you are). Employers aren’t loyal, safety nets are being cut, tech is changing fast, and the majority of Americans can’t afford a period of financial instability. I personally don’t see much hope in a society where people have to run themselves ragged for a chance at a dignified life when wealth inequality is so visible. I’m glad you guys are pushing back against the nihilism and encouraging hope through personal agency. At the end of the day, it’s all you can do. But I do deeply understand the frustration when the conversation stops there. To Doug’s question, I do think you need to discuss the bad with the good in order to have a nuanced and honest conversation, especially because tech bros have promised us the world for years while often downplaying human costs. It’s difficult and I really appreciate all of your efforts to have nuanced conversations.

ゴミの河童

I have so much respect for Aiden for lending commenters the same charity that he asks for in this episode. It's always so much easier to take a bad faith swing just to get the ball into someone else's court.

Adam Barrameda

I imagine a minority of commenters, but a majority of your audience, are fully aware that taking responsibility and realizing our own agency is the only way forward — and nonetheless, we're mystified as to where/how/when to apply that agency, given the lies we've been sold about the tech boom and the speed at which the job market is changing.

A

I wonder if that asterisk should be a bit or a meme for it to work. This is something that should be a natural thing to cut down those three quarters of preamble. Can be something more elegant than "holding a lemon". Maybe there is some combo of keyphrases as "not being a person knowledgeable about it...", "steelmanning this argument...", "assuming in a good faith..." and "acknowledging all the context..." that should be planted into the community's vocabulary and agreed upon.

Jackson Wood

I feel like the biggest issue in the Prime discussion is that at the end of the tunnel isn't a medal, or even a cushy job. It's just a job that will let you feed your family. It feels really bad to be told that you aren't working hard enough to deserve to eat. The obvious counter is that you can just get a non-cs job, but these people were lied to by basically everyone and now many have debt and need a higher paying job (60-90k) to dig themselves out. The way that we treat jobs in this country as a priviledge when it's a basic necessity is very depressing. I wish I could actually talk about this, but I've done my best to articulate kindly and concisely.

Dhruv C

Okay so as someone that has been active in the Tech job Market at two very different points in time, both of the times applying right out of college, during undergrad and grad school,I can see where people are coming from because a lot of people during 2021 when I first graduated got insanely well paying cushy jobs in tech and that’s where a lot of those day in my life 3 hours of work a week, tech offices are adult daycare videos came from and I was practically a beneficiary of that market myself, I barely had to give 2 interviews and was asked some basic coding questions, ( I did have to do well in my internship to convert to a full time offer but I think an internship at a big tech company is already aspirational for most folks) and then we had a bunch of shakeups at my company and I saw the way the wind was blowing in the industry and I wanted to get more involved in the AI research side of things so I left for grad school, and I must admit, despite being 10x more qualified than me 4 years ago (I had made a bunch of solid side projects, done some really good research in physical ai systems, and must’ve read like 50 books during my application phase) with a masters degree from a top 25 CS school and 2 years of experience working at a tech giant I had a much much harder time even just getting interviewed, I didn’t land any internships and finally got an offer a month before graduation but that was only the 2nd interview I got, so I can get why one would feel disheartened as somebody who’s applying in a market where it just feels like you’re trudging through mud when people that had the good fortune of graduating 3 or 4 years ago were basically gliding through air, I think it’s impossible to not have a warped view as either of those folks, because the people from the 2021 camp would believe it’s all about hard work and bootstraps(not to diminish how hard they worked or anything but just the median experience for an applicant was vastly different) vs the 2025 person feeling like the system is just rigged against them and get resentful of the people they think didn’t have to work as hard to get something they can only hope of. I think the only reason I was able to stay even keeled was because I happened to have been in both those positions so I had an easier time having the “you can only control the controllables” mindset I think it’s also mainly been exacerbated by the rise of ai and how easy it is to apply with a click and manufacture or polish resumes, things that took effort and filtered out the people that were kinda flippant about the process, and tech is kinda unique in this regard because at the entry level what’s asked of you is to mainly memorize these very specific programming patterns and question types so the barrier to entry is even lower compounding the problem even more.

SamuelJamuelLamuel

I agree that hard work does pay off, and that nothing will dig you out of the hole except yourself, but in my experience, it just feels more hopeless than ever. At least in Australia, there are 500+ applicants on every job, with a lot of those applicants using AI to write their cover letters and such. With such an influx of applications, there is no possible way that a hiring manager can look at all of them. Either they don't even look at you, or you get flat out rejected. It feels as if the hard work you have to do before getting even an entry level position rises as time goes on because the market keeps getting over saturated (plus AI cutting the need for junior devs). When I went to my graduation, I want to say a third of the students graduating did an IT degree. To me, it feels as if the Software Development industry has become less about skill and more about connections. A good portfolio just isn't enough and it's extremely disheartening. Not to say that skill isn't important, but it just feels like its not enough to be skilled. I think on the whole, young people are more pessimistic and hopeless because things just don't seem like they will improve. I am 22 and I firmly believe that I will not own a house in my lifetime, I feel more disconnected from people than ever, and I feel powerless to make changes. This may just be me though, but I think these sorts of sentiments must be shared by some. Anyway, I do think Prime's answer was worded poorly, but I also think he was just answering something else, which is unfortunate that disconnect happened. I agree with Aiden said that in those situations, it's worth running over time (where possible) to allow that push back and clarification.

Evan Schimberg
>>192015457

Its this 100%. I think the boys are a little biased because its the comments getting mad at a friend who they know is a good dude but like people arent (in general) expecting to get a 200k a year job out of college but like if they are getting 100k+ in debt getting a 4 year degree and people cant even access entry level CS jobs then like WTF was the point. also it wasnt a 4-7 year anomaly. find a reasonable entry level job out of college was the expectation that has been set for everyone for decades and that has only very recently changed

Evan Schimberg

I really sincerely wish Doug would spend some time to like actually understand the impacts of privilege and poverty on peoples ability to succeed. I am someone who has come from unreasonable privilege and have also worked my ass off to get to where I am now. I know how easy it is to say I understand people come from different backgrounds and struggles without really understanding the experience. The flexibility and opportunities for growth that are available to people with connections and money are staggering. It is the difference between having the time and money to pay for 1000$ of study material and exam fees for certifications and needing to take an additional minimum wage job to cover rent. I watched my little brother graduate from a great school, move to chicago a place that was packed with family and personal business connections, live for essentially free and still spend over a year grinding his ass off applying to hundreds and hundreds of jobs just to very recently land in a decent spot. Absolutely 100% hard work will improve your conditions but I really hate seeing the cries of young people especially those in far worse conditions brushed off with this optimistic "if you just work hard it will almost guaranteed work out" that simply isnt the case for a massive amount of people especially in this country.

Evan Schimberg
>>192063574

I promise i say all of this in good faith. I think I was in dougs camp for the majority of my life

Robbie Baum

Aimen is my favorite host :3 I feel like he brings a profound open mindedness that I try to bring into my life as well

Gavin Picard

I wrote an essay for my English class this semester detailing something really similar to what you guys are talking about. It was a values narrative, so we were supposed to talk about a “value” we held, and mine was “delusional optimism.” Which, to put it very succinctly, is lying to yourself and overestimating your own odds of success in life. Things ARE shitty, but Gen Z is one of the first generations to be deeply, intimately aware of how shitty things are. Unfortunately, I think the result of this knowledge is that Gen Z acts with less agency. They believe they have less agency, and thus are less successful in life. I read a study somewhere that people who are depressed more accurately estimate their own chances of success. Which is all to say I do think it’s good to be optimistic, to lie to yourself, and to hold on to every percentage point chance of success you might have left.

Allan

Booted up this episode and I'm getting yelled at 😢. I didn't even comment anything 😭

Dave

Holy shit Aiden gets the Gen z perspective and can describe it so well. He is Gen z so I'm not terribly surprised, but it's still relieving to have the thoughts of my friends and colleagues understood. I think Doug is great and understands, but just forgets a little sometimes that Gen z is a powder keg of angry, depressed, lonely people that have been told by people older than us useless advice and berated for being lazy. Makes it hard to take legitimate, good advice when we're so used to the opposite with the same level of fervor and with less understanding. Obviously taken in a good light Doug is right and so is Prime, but it's a gut reaction lots of people have that helps separate the people we can ignore and the people we can relate to.

Marno

I've notice a trend in online discussions that whataboutism and absolutism are rampant. Almost every time I share a take on anything, every response is people raising an edge case. If I was writing dissertations, I might cover those, but in a comment under 1000 characters, all I can really do is boil it down to the bones of my point. I did resonate with what Prime said, and understood the context behind what he was trying to say. People should assume that those who disagree with them aren't evil, they just have different experience and limited opportunity to share what that is.

Egotheist

I'm not the lone Zionist settler guy (as I do have several problems with the settlements and the ideas behind them) but I'm probably one of the very few pro-Israeli viewers you guys have. I can ensure Aiden, I did not agree with many things you said but I understand where you were coming from. I know how this conflict has been presented in traditional media and on social media these past two years and how this affected people's opinions. But I'd like to offer something: Provide you with a, to the best of my abilities, well-researched and sourced document covering historical aspects, the Law Of Armed Conflict, peace attempts, cultural and military challenges as well as genocide and starvation allegations. Not in an attempt to convince you of anything but to provide a different point of view compared to the dominant narrative you usually see online and with which you and many others agree with. Please don't see this as a personal attack and I don't mind, if you don't even respond to this, but I wanted to at least make the offer :)

Benjamin Muse

Aiden I am thankful that you don’t just regurgitate topics for people to respond back to you. Please keep up with following subjects that are not widely known. I had heard about the Sudan conflict but learned a lot more after the episode where you brought it up. Continue with this action as I know you will!

Michael Knight

Someone may have said this already, and I’m pretty sure Atrioc has brought up this point in some of his content, if not here as well, but I think a lot of the despair with younger people’s position in life and where the anger towards your guest comes from is this: so many people working or jointing the workforce these days have seen from Boomers or Gen X or to a lesser extent even Millenials that there are opportunities that can give you a comfortable life even if you just do a relatively low amount of work. Think back to Boomers who could work manufacturing jobs and probably support a family. You didn’t have to excel at anything to have a comfortable life. Gen X could do some of the same as Boomers, maybe they had to go to college, but as long as they did something they could achieve the same comfortable life like their parents or their neighbors. Millenials had to go to college for sure, but they were most likely able to get a job to support them and their family (albeit a bit different than previous generations in that both people in the relationship had to work etc.) We are now at the point where those jobs, ones that don’t require you to excel, whether that be in effort and/or talent and/or intellect, are no longer available. It you don’t stick out of the pack, you will not be comfortable. My point ultimately is this (and I think it aligns pretty well with what Gary says in that Diary of a CEO podcast they’ve referenced): not everyone is capable, whether through effort, means, or talent/intellect, able to be the one excelling compared to all their peers. Our society should be able to support even those who cannot excel. And somewhat by definition/the numbers, not everyone will be able to excel. This is why people are frustrated. I can imagine I’d be incredibly frustrated and/or depressed if I was someone entering the job market now. Hell, I was depressed dealing with transitioning out of college into adulthood and working back when I graduated in 2014. I got a degree in Mechanical Engineering, but my self esteem made me afraid to get internships. By the time I graduated, I had no prospects. I lucked into an internship after college that led me down a solid career path that I’m now 11 years into. But if I repeated my college path today, I don’t think I’d survive in today’s job market. Whereas if I had gone through my college path 10 years prior to when I did, I probably wouldn’t have had any issues getting a job even without an internship. Things are changing, and have been for decades. But the idea of the Boomer era lifestyle is still in many ways ingrained in the American public, and it just isn’t the same anymore.