Everything Meant Nothing | Part 20: He Said He Still Loved Me (Patreon)

All characters depicted in this story are fictional and 18 years of age or older. Everything portrayed is safe, sane, and consensual.

I couldn’t sleep.

Every time I closed my eyes, the text burned behind my eyelids like a cruel afterimage.

I’m in UK. I want to see you. Right now. Please.

I must’ve read it fifty times in the dark, phone glowing against my chest like a guilty secret. What the fuck was Luke doing here? Why now, after weeks of silence? Why is he in UK?

I tossed and turned, face buried in my pillow, sheets twisted around my legs. The clock on my desk blinked 01:13 AM in red digits, mocking me. No matter how hard I tried to reason with myself; to delete the message, to shut it down... some restless part of me kept replaying it. His name lighting up my screen. That familiar, stupid rush in my chest.

I hated him. Didn’t I? Or maybe I hated how much he still mattered.

Another buzz. A new message.

I’m outside your apartment.Downstairs.Please comeI wanna see you please.

My heart stopped. Literally stopped, then came back with a violent thud that rattled through my ribs.

What? No. He couldn’t be. Here? Now? At this time?

My hands went clammy. The room tilted. For a second I thought maybe I was dreaming again, one of those cruel, looping dreams where he showed up only to disappear when I blinked.

But the words were right there, glowing back at me. Clear, sharp and real.

I swallowed hard, throat desert-dry. My chest ached.

I sat up, every nerve firing, heart hammering so loud it felt like it might wake the whole building. Slowly, I padded to the door, careful not to creak the floorboards.

Theo’s room was just across mine, the door cracked half open. I froze, holding my breath, peeking inside.

He was there, sound asleep, soft breaths spilling into the dim light. Safe. Peaceful. And I was about to...what? Sneak out into the night because my ex - Luke had decided to drop a bomb on me?

My pulse spiked again. My stomach flipped.

I couldn’t think straight.

My chest clenched. What the fuck was I doing? Sneaking out on him. He trusted me. He—

I shook my head and slipped my trainers on. Just one conversation. That’s all. I needed to know why Luke was here. I needed closure.

Or maybe I needed something I didn’t want to name.

-------------Outside, the air was sharp with cold, biting through my T-shirt. The campus was silent except for the hum of a streetlight buzzing above the path. And there he was.

Luke.

Standing across the street from my building, hands shoved in his jacket pockets, hood half up. When he saw me, he straightened, like he’d been holding his breath too.

“Troy.” His voice cracked over my name.

I swallowed hard. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

He glanced down, then back up at me. “I told you. I had to see you.”

“That doesn’t explain why you’re in the UK. Why here? What game are you playing now?” My words came out harsher than I intended, but my chest was tight, my hands fists in my pockets.

“I’m not playing anything,” Luke said quietly. “I… I’m here with my uni team. We’re playing Ashgrave tomorrow. Friendly match, part of the international football exchange. We’re staying at a hotel not far from here. And when I realised....when I realised where we were...I couldn’t not text you.”

Ashgrave. My university. His team. My head spun. “You flew across a continent and just...what...show up outside my place like this?”

His jaw clenched. “Do you really think I planned it like that? It just happened. And it felt like...like fate.”

“Don’t ,” I snapped, chest heaving. “Don’t say fate like you didn’t fucking break me, Luke.”

He winced, stepping closer. “I know. I know I messed up. I’ll regret it every day of my life. But I can’t stand the thought of you hating me. I can’t stand not trying, one more time, to tell you how I feel.”

The anger inside me cracked, just enough to let something else bleed through. I hated how my body reacted...how my throat tightened, how my chest ached.

“You don’t get to just say that,” I whispered. “Not after everything.”

Luke’s eyes glistened under the dim streetlight. “Troy… I love you. I never stopped. I thought maybe if I pushed you away, it would make things easier for both of us. I thought I was protecting you, or myself, or...I don’t even know. But it was the biggest mistake of my life.” His voice broke. “I can’t get over you.”

The words hit me like a punch. I tried to breathe, but it came out shaky.

“Stop,” I muttered, blinking fast. “Stop saying shit like that. You don’t get to walk back into my life and—”

He stepped closer, so close I could smell the faint trace of his cologne. “I’m not asking you to forgive me. I just need you to know. If I leave tomorrow and you never want to see me again, fine. But I couldn’t go without telling you....I love you, Troy.”

My vision blurred. Tears stung hot at the corners of my eyes before I could stop them.

“Why are you doing this to me?” I whispered.

“Because it’s the truth,” he said. His voice was low, desperate. “And I’d rather you hate me for saying it than regret staying silent for the rest of my life.”

I shook my head, but my body betrayed me. My chest caved. A sob clawed up my throat. And then he was reaching for me.....tentative, trembling.

“Troy—”

Shift to Min’s Point of View

I hadn’t meant to follow him. Not really.

But when I saw Troy slipping out of the building, eyes darting like he didn’t want to be seen, something in me twisted. Curiosity. Worry and just instinct. I wanted to make sure he was safe.

So I crept after him. Quiet down the steps, careful to keep distance, heart hammering in my chest. The night air was cold, my breath fogging as I trailed him across the path.

And then I froze.

There he was. Standing under the streetlight. With someone else.

Even from where I stood, I recognised him; the boy from the pictures I’d glimpsed once, the ghost Troy never talked about. Luke.

My stomach dropped.

I couldn’t hear every word, just broken pieces that drifted through the night air; Luke’s voice cracking, Troy’s replies shaking like he was trying to hold himself together.

And then I saw it.

Luke leaning in, his hand hovering uncertainly, Troy’s shoulders trembling. His face was wet, and it took me a second to realize....he was crying.

Something in me snapped. My fists clenched, my body already stepping forward, ready to tear Luke away, to tell him to stay the hell away from my best friend. But then…

I froze.

Because Luke closed the distance. His hand brushed Troy’s cheek, tentative and trembling. Troy didn’t move. He didn’t shove him away. He just stood there, chest caved in, like the air had left his lungs.

And then....Luke kissed him.

Not hard or greedy, it was soft, fragile and quick. The kind of kiss that felt like it could fall apart if either of them breathed too loud.

My stomach dropped. My pulse roared in my ears.

Shift to Troy's Point of View

Luke's hand brushed my cheek, and before I could think, before I could stop myself, his lips were on mine. The kiss was soft, broken, full of everything unsaid. My whole body shuddered. I kissed him back. Just for a second. Just enough to taste the past I thought I’d buried.

Then I ripped myself away, stumbling back, tears streaming.

“Fuck,” I choked out, covering my mouth. “Fuck, I can’t...I can’t do this.”

Luke’s own eyes were wet, his chest heaving. “I fucking love you, Troy. I couldn’t get over you. I never will.”

I sobbed into my hands, knees weak, the world spinning. I hated him. I loved him. I didn’t know.And in that moment, I realized —

-----------------------------Everything Meant Nothing | Part 21: Two Worlds