Dungeon (Patreon)

The steam still lingered in the bathing chamber when Kaida emerged from the hot water. She wrapped herself in her towel and sighed, ready for her guard shift. Human adventurers rarely ventured this deep, and when they did, they were… tiny.

To Kaida, humans were almost microscopic creatures. Specks of dust with swords. Bacteria with delusions of grandeur.

She was adjusting the towel over her chest when she felt it.

A tickle.

Right at the edge of her right nipple.

She frowned, her scales bristling, and looked down. There, among the fibers of the towel, something was moving. A tiny figure, no bigger than a mite, was climbing up a strand of cotton as if it were a climbing rope.

It was a human.

An adventurer, judging by his gear: leather armor and a tiny sword. And he was right at the edge of her nipple, balancing himself with the determination of someone who had absolutely no understanding of the scale of his opponent.

“Seriously?” Kaida growled, her voice making the steam in the room tremble.

The human stopped, looked up—toward the dragoness’s face looming above him like a sky —. Then he went right back to climbing, heading toward the tip of her nipple.

“Hey,” Kaida said, trying to remain calm. “You. Yes, you, tiny one. Enough games. Attack me already or get off my… my nipple.”

“I can’t…” Kaida growled, feeling her skin grow warm with frustration. “I can’t do anything to you until you attack first. Those are the rules. Monsters can’t initiate combat. We have to wait for the adventurer to attack.”

She immediately regretted saying that.

The human looked at her from his position on the curve of her nipple. Then he smiled, drew his sword—which was basically a pin from Kaida’s perspective—and… polished it. He made it shine.

Then he put it away.

He didn’t attack.

“No!” Kaida shuddered, feeling the tickling intensify as the human took another step. He was now standing on her areola, looking around as if he were exploring a brand-new territory.

“You can’t stay there! It’s… it’s uncomfortable! And private! You’re invading a girl’s personal space!”

The human shrugged and sat down. He literally sat on the edge of her areola, pulled out a water bottle, and drank casually as if he were having a picnic.

“Attack me!” Kaida pleaded. “Please! Just… just stab me or something! That way I can crush you and get on with my day!”

The adventurer looked at her, considering it. Then he drew his sword again, raised it toward the sky—the cave ceiling—and shouted something Kaida couldn’t hear, but which she imagined was some kind of heroic challenge.

Her heart raced.

Finally.

Finally, she could…

The human sheathed his sword. He lay flat on his back on her areola, folded his hands behind his head, closed his eyes, and simply relaxed in the warm steam.

“No!” Kaida cried, feeling her nipple tighten with frustration, which only made the human settle in more comfortably. “This is torture! It’s worse than torture! It’s… it’s uncomfortable and humiliating, and I can’t do anything!”

“Please, get out! Attack me or leave! Choose! Choose already!”

The human opened one eye, looked at her, and smiled.

Then he closed his eye again and continued relaxing, enjoying the warmth of her skin, the steady beat of her heart vibrating like a gentle earthquake, and the frustration of a dragoness who couldn’t do anything because the dungeon’s rules were absolute.

Monsters never attacked first.