Chapter 38: Birthday Incident (Patreon)

A new day began at the Kent farm. When Kara woke, she stretched briefly before heading downstairs, following the familiar sounds of morning.

In the kitchen, Pa Kent and Clark occupied their usual seat at the table. Ma Kent stood near the stove, preparing breakfast. Kara stepped in with a bright smile. “Good morning!!”

Ma Kent was the first to respond, turning toward her with a gentle expression. “Good morning, Kara. Happy birthday.”

Clark and Pa Kent followed after. “Happy birthday,” they echoed.

Ma Kent wiped her hands lightly and added, “Since it’s your birthday, is there anything you want for lunch today?”

Kara shook her head with a small smile. “Thank you, Ma Kent… but I have work today, and I’ll probably be late. I didn’t tell Mr. Cobblepot I’m taking the day off.”

Clark said. “You can take a lunch break, can’t you?”

“I can,” Kara admitted, “but I prefer to work as long as Mr. Cobblepot and Uncle Alfred are working… and they usually don’t take breaks.”

Pa Kent frowned mildly. “That doesn’t sound healthy.”

Kara replied. “Uncle Alfred has… inhuman efficiency. And his work standards are absurd. Poor Mr. Cobblepot is suffering trying to keep up with him. No matter how much effort he puts in, even with my help, he’s always behind schedule.”

Clark raised an eyebrow. “How is that butler even doing all that?”

Kara shrugged. “No one knows. Uncle Alfred is just… built differently. And every time you ask, the answer is either ‘ancient Tibetan monk technique’ or ‘what kind of a butler would I be if I can’t…’ something impossible.”

Clark gave a thoughtful nod. “Maybe I should go find those monks and train under them.”

Kara gave a quiet laugh. “Good luck with that.”

She turned slightly. “Anyway, I’m going to change and head out…”

Before she could finish, black smoke suddenly gathered above the dining table.

All Kents froze.

The smoke condensed rapidly, swirling for a brief moment before dispersing completely, revealing a neatly wrapped gift resting at the center of the table… along with a letter.

Kara was the first to move, approaching the gift.

Clark stood immediately. “Wait. That could be dangerous.”

Kara shook her head. “No, that’s Uncle Alfred’s smoke.”

She picked up the letter and opened it, reading aloud.

“Happy Birthday, Kara. Take the day off and have fun. I will take care of Master Cobblepot’s work. In the box, you can find your birthday gift.”

She paused briefly, then continued.

“P.S.: I apologize if I alarmed you. I figured this is better than using the post office, it ensures it arrives on time and no one can trace it back to your adopted human family. Also, be at ease. Only I know where you live. I have not told anyone, including Master Cobblepot. However, the day off and the gift were approved with his knowledge.”

Clark’s expression tightened slightly. “He knows where you live?! How?”

Kara folded the letter calmly. “I don’t know, I didn’t even tell anyone about my birthday. But if you ask him, the answer will be something like, ‘what kind of a butler would I be if I can’t find you.’”

Pa Kent said “That butler is as scary as he is impressive.”

Ma Kent smiled faintly. “Well, open the gift. I’m curious what he sent you.”

Kara nodded and carefully opened the box. Inside was a neatly folded outfit, along with another note. She picked it up and read it aloud.

“A personalized Kryptonian battle suit… but purely for fun.”

She glanced down as she continued reading.

“Built-in speakers to play your favorite music. A retractable cape that doubles as a picnic blanket. And it has pockets.”

There was a brief silence.

Kara slowly lowered the note and lifted the suit from the box. The material was familiar in a way that made her pause.

Her eyes widened.

“It… really looks like a Kryptonian battle suit,” she said quietly. “It even feels like one. The only difference is that he colored it blue and red instead the usual black and silver”

Clark frowned. “How did they know what Kryptonians wore?”

His gaze lingered on the suit. “Who is this butler, really? Is he even human?”

Kara held the suit carefully, her fingers brushing against the fabric. For a moment, she didn’t answer. Then with a small smile, she said,

“Yes. He’s human.”

She looked down at the suit again, still faintly amazed.

“And he’s one hell of a butler. I need to try it!!”

She bolted out with super speed.

Ma Kent said “I didn’t see her this excited before about clothing. I guess she really likes the gift.”

Pa Kent and Clark nodded, when Kara appeared again with a wide smile wearing the suit. She said “It fits me perfectly!! and even has a label saying ‘Property of Kara Zor-El’. This is amazing!!”

The three Kents couldn’t help but smile seeing how excited she was about having this suit. She touched a button on her wrist causing a red cape to extend from her back with the letter S on it.

Ma Kent said “This is a very thoughtful gift, you ought to thank them for it.”

Kara replied “I will!!”

Pa Kent said “So now that you are free for the day? What do you want to do? It is your twentieth birthday, you should do something to make it special.”

Ma Kent said “Let’s start with what you want to eat.”

Kara said “I don’t really have anything in mind, all your food is amazing. It is hard for me to choose something.”

Ma Kent said with a smile “Very well, in that case, it will be a surprise of my own choosing”

Clark suggested “You have been working for months now and rarely had time for being Supergirl, why not spend the entire day as Supergirl?”

Kara thought for a moment then said “I don’t know, I want to try something new.”

Clark said “Sure, what do you have in mind?”

Kara replied “I would like to try to go on a date like how everyone on Earth does.”

Her words were met with silence and surprise, Ma Kent said “Do you have someone you like? Is he from your work?”

Kara shook her head and said “No, I don’t. And everyone I work with is kind of too old for me. If I am going on a date, I would like someone closer to my age.”

Clark said “For a moment, you wanted to try dating someone from that ex-gang den. And remember, no going to a bar before you are 21.”

Kara rolled her eyes and said “I was actually thinking to ask a guy I met recently out. He has some strange ideas and strange super powers, but funny and nice when you look past the weirdness.”

Clark said “Is he from Gotham? and does he have relation to your work?”

Kara replied “Yes, he is from Gotham. And no, he has no relation at all to my work. I actually met him through Batgril, but she does have a bad relationship with him.”

Clark raised an eyebrow and said “Why is that?”

Kara said “He is a cocaine saint, he saved the city from Joker by drowning it in Cocaine rain and then changed its scent through a cocaine-perfume. Barbara didn’t like his cocaine cultist mentality and they had some bad altercations that always ended with him bruising her face.”

There was yet another silence in the house, a much longer one.

Pa Kent finally said “I think I misheard you, did you say a cocaine saint?”

Kara chuckled “Yeah, it is that weird. He started a cocaine worshipping religion and he is planning to make it an official world religion, where the word addict is discriminatory and derogatory.”

Ma Kent said “How is he still out of prison?”

Kara replied “No evidence to incriminate him, his cult operates in Colombia and he is not addicted himself nor has cocaine on himself, so nothing to go after. And there is no way to prove the cocaine rain and perfume was his and his cult doing.”

Clark said “You want to try dating a drug cultist? Do you not see the problem here?”

Kara said “That’s the thing, it sounds bad but he is pretty cool and nice. He doesn’t hurt others and his cocaine is blessed by the cocaine god, sniffing it heals the people even from gun wounds. The god also blessed him with super powers.”

Clark said with a baffled tone “God and blessed cocaine? Who is allowing this guy to walk around free?”

Kara said “He’s not what he looks like, I know it sounds weird. I talked with him and heard from Barbara, he really is not an evil guy.”

Clark finally said “Kara stay away from this guy, and stay away from anyone related to drugs”

Pa Kent added “I am with Clark on this, getting involved with someone like him is bad.”

Ma Kent also nodded.

Kara said “Again, he is not a criminal or bad, and his blessed cocaine is not really a cocaine if you think about it, it is more like an enhanced medicine. I honestly think he should find a different name.”

Clark said “Still absolutely not... Actually no, let me meet this guy, I want to see him myself.”

———

By the afternoon, Sebastian reappeared in Gotham the way he usually did his form condensing out of a swirl of white flames in a quiet alley. His work for the day was finished, and with Penguin still buried under hours of paperwork, there was little reason for him to remain in the Iceberg Lounge. So, he intended to spend his time doing something far more important.

Finding the black kitten.

After the incident with Barbara, the small creature had gone back to avoiding him entirely. Whatever fragile trust he had been building had been undone in a single moment, forcing him to start over from the beginning.

He made his way to the familiar alley where the kitten tended to appear. Once there, he crouched down and opened a can of cat food, pouring it carefully onto a plastic plate. Then he placed it a short distance away and retreated just enough to appear non-threatening, settling into a patient wait.

As expected, the kitten appeared less than a minute later.

It approached cautiously, its small body tense, its gaze flicking between the food and Sebastian. After a moment of hesitation, hunger won. It lowered its head and began eating.

Sebastian allowed himself a faint smile.

It didn’t last.

“You really like cats.”

The voice came from above.

The kitten reacted instantly. It bolted, vanishing into the alley’s depths.

Sebastian’s expression flattened as his eyes followed the empty space it left behind.

“You scared it,” he said.

“I’m sorry,” the voice replied. “I didn’t mean to. But… why did it run so fast?”

Sebastian stood and turned toward the voice.

“When Eris attacked me, I fell on it, which caused it pain. Combine that with its previous experiences with the local less-than-friendly population, and you get a cat that no longer trusts anything that breathes.”

He froze when he saw Kara descend into the alley followed by Superman.

Sebastian stared at Superman for a moment before moving to Kara and adding. “I see you brought company, and I can see it in his eyes. He doesn’t like me.”

Then his gaze shifted fully to Superman. “What is this about? Is it related to Bane’s dinner the other day? I didn’t take Kara to a bar or any other illegal places.”

Superman studied Sebastian with a firm expression before finally speaking. “Kara told me about you. I wanted to meet you in person. The guy who worships drugs.”

“It’s cocaine,” Sebastian corrected immediately. “And if you don’t mind me asking, why do you want to meet me? You’re not here for the ecstasy it provides, are you?”

“I’m not,” Superman replied. “I want to know what kind of person you are. And how no one has put you in jail.”

Sebastian shrugged lightly. “No one can prove I broke any laws, the whole cocaine thing is a nightmare to prove in a legal setting. As for what kind of person I am… I’m a cat person with questionable life choices at best, and outright horrifying ones at worst. Nice to meet you.”

Kara let out a small laugh despite herself.

Superman did not.

He stared at Sebastian, his eyes narrowing slightly. “Do you truly convince people to worship drugs?”

“Again,” Sebastian said, “it’s cocaine.” He studied Superman for a second, then added, “Also, I’m getting some very bad vibes from you. Let me clarify something else, I am a coward with questionable life choices. When I get scared, I tend to do weird things, often harmful.”

“So you’re not denying it,” Superman said.

“Kara,” Sebastian said calmly, “take a few steps back. Just in case this gets ugly.”

Before she or Superman could respond, white fire flickered briefly in Sebastian’s hand. When it vanished, a small spray bottle had taken its place.

Both Kara and Superman glanced at it.

“Pepper spray,” Kara read aloud. “Made in Colombia.”

She blinked. “What is that for? Don’t tell me it is for Superman?”

“You can’t blame me,” Sebastian replied. “I feel threatened. I need to respond appropriately to the sun-fueled alien god standing in front of me.”

“We’re immune to that,” Kara said.

“This one is more potent,” Sebastian replied. “It has cocaine in it.”

Kara stared at him. “You are not helping your case.”

Superman’s expression hardened. “You put cocaine in a pepper spray?”

Sebastian replied “Cocaine is our lord and savior, the source of our power. The pure white which fuels our might.”

 Superman said “As I suspected, you’re insane.”

Sebastian shook his head. “No. I am quite sane. Give our religion a chance, you might find a greater purpose.”

Superman stepped forward. “I don’t usually operate outside Metropolis. But I’ll make an exception for you. Your cult and your actions are a danger to society. What you are preaching as a religion is much worse than selling drugs!!”

Kara frowned. “Kal-El, don’t take his words literally, it is not as bad as you think, and you said you weren’t going to do anything…”

Superman said “No, you don’t understand how bad his actions really are, selling drug is far less dangerous than what this guy want to preach”

“Well,” Sebastian cut in, lifting the bottle, “I’m scared. This is your funeral.”

He sprayed.

Superman didn’t even try to react.

It was a terrible mistake.

The effect was immediate.

Superman reacted with a groan of pain as he quickly covered his face and stepped back. He began coughing while saying between coughs “Aaah!! What is this?!!”

Superman attempted to extend his hand to grab Sebastian, only for Sebastian to dodge his and push him down to the ground while continuing his spray non stop. He sprayed all over Superman’s body as if he was spraying a bug.

Kara froze where she stood, watching the Man of Steel on the ground, coughing and trembling.

“Kara, Stay back,” Sebastian said without looking at her. “This is too potent for you.”

He stopped after a moment, lowering the bottle as he observed Superman’s condition.

“That should be enough,” he said calmly. “He’ll remember not to scare me or my cult again.”

Kara’s face turned into alarm as she said “What did you do?!”

Sebastian said “Relax, it is just pepper spray, he will be fine, but will be coughing and tearing for quite some time.”

Kara just stared dumbfounded.