Satsuma Connor 🍊 - JuiceBoy's Shareholder Newsletter (PATREON EXCLUSIVE) (GAS) (Patreon)

RE: SHAREHOLDERS NOTICE, ETHICAL CONCERNS:

Hi, ************ ************

Thank you for reaching out in regard to your concern over the ethics of our recent decisions within our corporation, we hope to dispel any worry regarding the issue of Mr Connor's involvement in the company, and his fate thereafter.

We at JuiceBoy's understand your concern regarding the ethical implications of our most recent investment into former actor, current gas fruit, Kit Connor..

However, per clause 5 within section B of Mr Connor's contract with our advertising agency, and under article 4 of his terms of employment with us, he is now a direct brand ambassador, and we have taken legal steps to ensure his safety and our profit margins through the process of permanent genetic alteration. Now the fat Satsuma will create prosperity for our shareholders. Once Mr Connor's body is ready, we will have him rolled to a hydraulic press to be intimately pressed for refreshing orange air freshener once this process is finished, the subject will begin to immediately swell with gas again, ready by the time the next batch is bottled and ready to ship.

Do not fret, Kit has come around to his fate, he can be seen moaning in joy with each squeeze, each blast that we press out of him. We're sure that even if he wanted to resist, he simply could not.. And we are excited to launch the brand internationally, with many more opportunities for fruit boys in our orchards on multiple continents.

We appreciate your concern, and if you have any other queries please get in touch with the email address provided previously.

We thank you for your continued interest in our company, and for being a valued shareholder.

Kind Regards,
B. Fob - CEO of JuiceBoy's EU/NA Branch