Paused Pledges (Patreon)

I am very tired LOL.

TLDR: Patreon and commission(?) hiatus for a while!

I will force myself not to accept any new work outside of my etsy shop for the month of May. Which is gonna be really hard lol.

Since moving out the first time, last May I increased my workload, but without any solid schedule or limit. I just kinda have taken on work that I thought I could handle. And for the most part it's gone well!

But it has me realizing I may not be able to maintain this lifestyle for a long term livable solution without drastically increasing rates, or (ideally) making my technical skill increase to something worthy of higher rates, or looking in to more specialized works that I have the current technical skill and know-how to reasonably charge a rate that's more realistic for a liveable income (ex: Live2D models).At least if I wanted to live on my own. Which I don't plan on. But you never really know what'll happen.

I do prefer patreon pledges as a form of steady & consistent commission slots! But I don't have the energy to do both Patreon AND Commissions. (At least not at the moment. Please see the image up top LOL)

After nearly a year of constant commission or patreon work I'm hitting burn out. So chances are I'll probably stick to just one or the other.

Currently I'm in the strangest burnout phase I've ever experienced in my life. I have no drive or motivation for even my own personal projects. But it also may be some mental health stuff coming to a head. KIND of. Not in a Suicide way. More of a "not functioning at baseline or better capacity" type of deal!

The only example I can think of to explain the feeling is. It's like I've gone out of town for work, but I also asked myself to tend to my fruit bearing plants while I'm gone.I obviously can't do that since I wouldn't be there to water or take care of them.So I come back from work and see that my plants are pretty distressed & won't bear any fruit that summer because they're too busy trying to stay alive and not wither into a crunchy dead plant. So maybe next year they'll bear fruit if I work art with them to recover. The plant is like a little stand in for my personal artwork, characters, projects, etc. that I've been growing for most of my tween to adult life. I've never really experienced such a dried out phase of my own stuff at this level.I'm used to anxiety or fight or flight and workaholism routines to get stuff done very quickly. But I've reached a point to where I feel sometimes, that I'd rather refund a commissioner just to take some work off of my plate so I can retreat & recharge. My coping motivators just don't do it anymore, and that's partly due to proper medication and healthier coping skills. HOORAY!

So I'm going to try and use May to only work on Etsy stuff (since our ManaArtes shop is what pays for groceries and bills. My income can only cover my share of rent for the most part, there's 5 people living in this house lol) and just. Exist.

Taking an art break. It's been years since I haven't had a to-do list of commissions on my plate, because I like to accept them, they're easy to think of doing, but then I have to set aside time for communication, reference gathering, drafting, inking, coloring, color adjusting, exporting multiple versions of both print-compatible and web-friendly sizes, making sure I've been paid, making sure the art is sent to the commissioner, hoping they give feedback and critique but also in an effective way where I ideally wont have to charge for revisions, etc.

I've been taking commissions fairly regularly since 2013, and have done the past year without much break. Only short "can't work on stuff because Moving for the xth time" or "about to have a crisis hold up." and not really letting myself get back to a baseline of "standard" or "thriving" and just going back in to stuff once I step from "CRISIS" to "survival" mode.

I may opt keep Patreon paused for more than just May and April  as a heads up. But idk maybe that's just the anxiety talking really loud.

I'm going to do this based on how I'm feeling around the end of each month, where I'm at on projects I've committed to, and when I feel like I'm not flailing around drowning in a lake of work to do!

Here's my to-do list, which with the burn out, I'm slooooowly going through:

2 Live 2D models1 FFT style icon2 Character Designs1 Full shaded Full BG Piece1 Reference SheetFinishing Ruka's March RewardProbably something else I forgot oops.

I havent had the chance to properly test run revised pledges I'm so sorry afbdjksfdgvfd.My tweaking them in March (and in December or before even) has been kind of small attempts to prevent and fight off the ever growing burn out, but I knew this would come along sooner or later. A creative burnout is far from uncommon for artists. Or just a work burnout in general for anyone.

I'm too sleepy to write more on this. I hope it doesn't sound like a guilt trip to anyone or anything!!!! Just wanna give a heads up and stuff. Take care of my mental health so it doesn't bleed into my freelance work and make me deliver sub par art or anything.

I tend to ramble and overexplain a lot too, sorry LOL.If you read this all. Bruh use your time to chill out yourself too ok? Things will be okay. c:

Gonna go crash now.And schedule WIP stuff and things I've been doodling on to upload to here now!