Blog Post: ALL THE FEMALE CREATIVES... brought to you by rape culture (Patreon)

Sorry about the title, I know it's a little off-putting, but I couldn't think of a better way to sum up my week.I've always made a point to support and empower other female creatives because I make a point to support and empower women period. I feel the biggest obstacle to equality is that society divides and pits women against one another from the moment we're born. We live our lives in alienation because we are in perpetual competition and suspicion of our own kind. My life became infitintely better the moment I stopped being so afraid of other women and threw myself into getting to know them regardless of their outward personality. My female friends are now essential to my well-being and ground me.That being said, I've been trying super hard to meet and/or create with as many women as possible on this trip. However, this effort takes resources, like time and gas, and those resources require money, which requires booking more shoots and sometimes those shoots are not shoots you feel particularly good about... in your soul.For example, my first shoot in Columbus was a video shoot for a guy that does very specific fetish videos for manyvids. In particular, he does hypnotize and knock-out videos. For those of you not familiar, the hypnotizing fetish is one in which a person is hypnotized to do something they wouldn't otherwise, like undress for an acquaintance, and is powerless but to obey the commands of the hypnotist. A knock-out fetish is where the subject is knocked unconscious and moved about and undressed while in this state. I didn't really think about it in-depth beforehand, I just knew the videographer was reputable and was paying me more than I normally make per hour. However, midway through the shoot, I started to feel really gross and terrible about what I was doing, and ashamed. It helped that the videographer was very much business-minded and, unlike many other photographers, was not shooting this because it was his own personal fetish but because it was a financially lucrative field for him.Nonetheless, and maybe this is because I have been sexually assaulted, including while I was asleep or, rather, "knocked-out," I felt like I was perpetuating rape-culture. It was a terrible feeling.I was conveying this sentiment later that day to art models Kelsey Dylan and Nathalia Rhodes. Both of them were of the opinion that I was not perpetuating rape-culture and doing these type of shoots enabled me to devote more time and resources to my personal creative endeavors which is clearly in opposition to rape-culture. I wish I could agree but I still feel pretty terrible about it. Ah, the trials and tribulations of an art model!Otherwise, the tour is going well! I feel like I'm creating a lot and learning a lot about myself, others, and art. I'm looking forward to having a day or two in which I can just sit down and edit and queue posts. I am getting a sort of homesick even though I don't really have a home anywhere at the moment. Eventually I'll find the right combination of chaos and stability that fulfills me!