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Kay Jay

It has been.... a rough couple weeks. It wasn't all bad, just kind of a roller coaster of extreme ups and downs. 

I found a place in Portland! I will actually be renting the basement floor of my friend Kayla's house. It was a steal and it has it's own entrance plus I have free reign to personalize it. I'm pretty excited but also very scared since money is tight right now. I'm hoping I can bait a bar into hiring me by offering to work through the holidays.

I've been having a bunch of health issues the last few months that seemed related. I went to get it checked on (another cost) and they found two problems, one of which is a symptom of a bigger problem and they're running a few more tests to figure out what's going on. It's not so much scary as it is bothersome. The medication I've been on really messes with me and I haven't been able to sleep at all or I can't keep my head up. Also, the cost involved sucks.

I had a falling out with a really close friend over this year and now a lot of stories are getting back to me about her anger toward me which I don't feel is at all justified, but it still hurts.

My ex violated boundaries we had explicitly agreed upon before I stayed with him a few days while I gathered up my belongings... I woke up to something happening to me that shouldn't be happening but I can't help but blame myself for putting myself in the situation regardless if there was very explicit no consent. I guess everything is a give and take; if I'm going to keep someone around I use to have a romantic relationship with in order to keep the little close connections I have, I have to anticipate some pitfalls. Perhaps that's victim-shaming or promoting rape culture, but I never really consider that the rules of basic common human decency apply to me.

I'm a little loopy from my meds and lack of eating (apparently a symptom of my extreme hyperthyroidism), so I'm gonna end here. Everyone keeps engaged because I have SOOOOOOOO MUCH CONTENT, and it's just going to take some time to organize and present it all.