Photography Set: Tazia Diana (Patreon)

Despite being an exhibitionist, I have a bit of a problem with performance anxiety.

My mother used to tell me a story about how when I was baby she thought I was mentally handicapped because I would never play with anything and I was quiet all the time, One day, she was trying to teach me how to play with this Sesame Street toy where the characters pop out when you press a button. After going through it several times while I stared blankly at her, she gave up and went to do dishes. There was a small opening above the sink that looked into the living room and she watched as I looked around to confirm I was alone and then proceed to individually press each button, reset the character, press the next button, and so on until I had done them all. She ran into the room excited and tried to get me to do it again but I just stared at her blankly.

I've carried on this unwillingness to do things I'm not confident about in front of others into my adulthood. I prefer to learn in private and slowly reveal my skills with lots and lots of practice.

I've waned to shoot with Tazia Diana for awhile but was surprised when she and Ashley French showed up to our shoot with an audience of friends. I have no problem modeling in front of an audience but I am nowhere near comfortable in my photography skills to shoot in front of others. When it was my turn to get behind the camera, I got flustered and super rushed it. Editing these was hard - hence why there is so many variations of edits - because I wasn't super pleased with any of the shots. Le sigh.

Fortunately, Tazia and I hit it off well and I have no doubt I'll have a chance to redeem myself. In the meantime, $15+ Patrons can see all 53 images from this shoot in the dropbox folder Photography / 2019 / Tazia / May / Pirates .