3.365 (Patreon)

Being off meds is both a terrible and glorious thing; I feel everything so intensely, so large. When it's good, it's the better than any drug. When it's bad, you're the walking dead, trapped in a torturous limbo in your head. Either way, it's overwhelming and exhausting. However, like any drug, you keep convincing yourself the good times are worth all the incredibly terrible things that follow or that  one day, if you try hard enough, you'll be strong enough  to handle all those bad things, yet it never seems to work out that way.