Personal Update (Patreon)

I'm  going to be really insanely depressing and unsexy for a second but... I'm not doing well mentally. Like, I'm never doing particularly well mentally but lately all I can think about is how much I want to kill myself but that I can't because I love my pets and my dogs are too neurotic and no one else would take care of them the way they need to be taken care of besides me and I seriously sat found myself trying to figure out who could possibly take them in so I could kill myself and almost texted friends to like interview them to see if they were potentially a viable option and then I stopped myself only because I knew it wouldn't matter, no one would take care of them as well as me. So yeah, that's where my head is at right now. I also unexpectedly had to spend over $1600 at the vet today because my favorite cat has a lump in her tummy that may or may not be cancer. I literally cannot get a break and literally everything makes me anxious or sad and my knee hurts really bad and is swollen for some unknown reason and I have 2 painful ulcers in my mouth because I've started obsessively drinking diet soda again because it's the only thing that brings me joy.