Volume 1, Chapter 13: Retail Therapy, Cave Edition (Patreon)

After examining the trail and deciding it was worth following, I untied my homemade belt and stuffed both neckties into my pocket. I tossed the crowbar into the bag—now free of Bri, who was flying under her own power—and, holding it in one hand, began squeezing through the narrow crevice we had found.

It was not easy, but fortunately, I was a lean man who had always valued agility and the natural strength-to-weight ratio of my muscles. My training focused on those qualities rather than muscular hypertrophy.

The bag was nearly empty as well, so I managed to drag it through behind me without much difficulty. After only a few minutes of moving sideways between the two walls, with the trail of blood running along the lower portion of the passage for its entire length, Bri and I emerged into a small natural stone shaft.

Another similar but wider passage led into it, one we probably would have found had we decided to circle the mesa a little farther. There was also a second, much larger entrance leading into a cave.

The blood trail continued inside, though it had grown considerably thinner. According to the instinctive sense provided by my Daimon, that was also where we should search for Frogflower.

“It looks a little, um… frightening,” Bri said as she emerged from the narrow passage behind me and flew closer to the cave.

The light she cast illuminated a stone tunnel formed from uneven rocks. Some were rounded, while others were sharpened like those jutting from the river of sand. One wall was covered in blue grass that clung tightly to the stone and swayed gently, creating the impression that a wave was passing beneath it rather than individual blades moving in the wind.

The tunnel curved only a few feet inside, preventing us from seeing where it led.

I slung the bag over my shoulder again and, ignoring the growling in my stomach, limped closer to Bri.

“More interesting than frightening,” I replied as I reached the entrance and ducked to cross the threshold.

The cave smelled of moisture and something I could not quite identify. Chalk, perhaps. The scent brought back memories of the hours I had spent sitting in old, dusty classrooms at school, where that same smell had become associated with the humiliation of standing before the blackboard with a piece of chalk in my hand, trying to solve a problem in front of the entire class.

“Is it bad, Lex?”

“What do you mean?” I turned toward her in surprise, brought back from my memories into the present.

Her gaze was fixed on my foot, so I looked down as well. Balancing on one leg, I lifted the injured foot with both hands and brought it closer to my face for inspection.

Despite the puncture wound, which did not look too terrible—there were no visible signs of infection—the bitten toe, which would probably heal without difficulty, and the burns covering the sole, the limb appeared to be in fairly decent condition. I’d always prefer that outcome over not having a foot at all.

“Doesn’t look too bad to me.”

“But, um… when you walk, what is that called?”

She thought for a moment, making a ridiculous face as the center of her mouth shifted toward one cheek, which she puffed out.

“Limping?”

“Oh, yes!”

“I’m limping because even though it’ll probably heal without much trouble and I can still walk, every step hurts like bloody hell. I suppose that’s difficult to imagine for someone who doesn’t have feet,” I began. Then the full reality of who I was speaking to struck me, and I clasped both hands behind my head. “Or even a body. Or perhaps nerve endings. Bri… can you feel pain? Do you know what pain is?”

“Well, of course I… probably… I think I know.” She began, then lost herself in thought for a moment, pursing her lips and looking upward. Her fiery eyebrows curved into arches of flame that lifted slightly away from the rest of her face, while black smoke drifted from the places where her ears should have been—though, come to think of it, I had never actually noticed any. “I mean, Lex… I know what it is and how you’re supposed to feel it, and that it’s unpleasant, but, um… I don’t know why or how I know that, because it feels different for me. When something hurts me, I feel dimmed, like… well… like I can’t get enough air.”

“You breathe?”

“Yes. I draw air in and let it out, sometimes as, um… smoke. But yes, I understand pain, and you’re limping, so I asked. Molbob dragged one of his legs too.”

“No way.”

“What?”

“Molbob had an injured leg? Then your alien is probably the same one as mine. Unless all of them have problems with their legs, which isn’t impossible.” I snorted at the thought of the old Gray. Being so close to him had made the idea of his species far less terrifying than it once had been.

“I’m glad he put me together with you.”

“Don’t count your chickens before they hatch, Bri. That’s first. Second—”

My fireball raised her eyebrows, forming an expression that quite literally asked whether I was serious.

“I’ll list things whenever I feel like it. It’s none of your concern. Second, I don’t know whether putting us together was actually his decision.”

“That’s, um… true.”

“Third, come on. We’ve stood around long enough.” I waved for her to follow and continued deeper into the tunnel, descending over layers of damp rock that formed a set of uneven natural stairs.

“Fourth, Bri, we’re approaching a place officially advertised as a treasure cave, which means anyone nearby will probably come running. I want us to keep who we really are and what we can do to ourselves. The fewer people who know, the easier it will be to control the situation. Once we get to know someone better, we can decide what information is worth sharing with them, okay?”

“Mhm. I’ll try.”

She flew in a wide arc around a naturally formed column where a stalactite and stalagmite had joined, then slipped behind a row of stalactites before disappearing around the next bend in the tunnel.

The path descended toward a narrow rocky ledge. At its edge, if I was seeing correctly in the light she cast, the trail of blood ended beside a body.

“Lex,” she warned, noticing it at the same moment I did, though she kept her voice low. “I think it’s, um… a human.”

“Careful. It might be a trap set by someone else,” I whispered to her. “Someone may have abandoned the body after realizing they were being followed.”

“Or he might need help because he’s injured,” she replied before flying toward the ledge.

I followed cautiously, unwilling to shout at her to slow down. Even from above, however, I could see that beyond the edge where the man sat slumped against the wall was a chasm stretching far into the distance and plunging deep enough that Brigid’s light could not dispel the darkness below.

Thanks to her method of movement, apparently unrestricted by anything except windblown sand and rocks, she reached the man much faster than I did.

“I think he’s dead, Lex,” she said, her voice echoing from the wet walls. “He isn’t moving, and, um… I can’t use my magic on him to see how he feels… though maybe that’s just because I don’t know how.”

She continued speaking while I slowly descended the natural stone steps, gripping stalagmites to maintain my balance on the slippery surface.

The man wore jeans and a hooded sweatshirt covered in various patches. He still had shoes on his feet—some kind of athletic sneakers. Undoubtedly an Earthling, and one who had not been particularly fortunate, judging by the long, sharpened fragment of stone protruding from his chest.

Fortunately, nothing suggested that whatever had left the body there was about to leap out from around a corner or from anywhere else.

“I think that”—I pointed at the stone as I approached—“might be why he isn’t moving, Bri. Something pierced his insides. His intestines, probably, or maybe his spleen. He must’ve bled out while walking here.” I pinched my nose as the stench coming from the man reached me.

“Does he smell strange?” Bri asked, looking at me before flying closer to the body.

“He shit himself. Probably lost control of his bowels before he died,” I replied. “And here I was hoping I could take his clothes.”

“Really? That’s, um… not very nice. Stealing from the dead.”

I looked at her indulgently.

“He doesn’t need any of it anymore. That’s fir—” I sighed, then continued. “It makes no difference to me whether I steal from the living or the dead, Bri. Whether you like it or not, as I already mentioned, I’m a thief. If someone wants their possessions to remain theirs at all times, they should protect them.” I gestured toward the reeking corpse of the bearded man, who looked to be around thirty. “And this particular gentleman definitely isn’t going to fight me for them.” I hoped.

Even so, I moved closer and inspected his shoes. I pulled one from his foot and examined it, since it looked large enough at first glance.

“What are you doing?” Bri asked as I nearly shoved my face inside it.

“Shine some light in here for me, please.”

Bri floated above me while I crouched and searched for the size. Unfortunately, it was two sizes too small.

“Fuck.”

“Something wrong?” she asked as I reached for the set of various keys I had and began poking and cutting—or rather forcefully sawing—away the front of the shoe to make room for my toes. Fortunately, the material was not particularly durable, and within moments I had removed the sections that would have bothered me most.

“Nothing,” I replied with a sigh as I reached for the man’s sock and pulled it from his foot.

My first instinct was to smell it and see how badly it stank, but I denied myself that dubious pleasure. Instead, I pulled it over my own foot and put on the shoe I had prepared. After my modifications, it fit surprisingly well.

“It’s just that what I’m doing is fucking disgusting. But having shoes is better than not having them.” I looked at her as I reached for the second one, intending to repeat the process. “Assuming, of course, that you have feet.”

“I don’t think that is particularly, um… necessary,” Bri giggled, making what was probably her first joke. I joined her laughter.

A short while later, once both shoes were on, I slowly pulled the body away from the wall and checked whether the man’s sweatshirt had been soiled by his ‘accident’. Finding no such stain, I carefully removed it and pulled it over my bare skin while searching the pockets.

In one, I found a crumpled tissue, which I immediately tossed into the abyss without any desire to consider what it might have been used for.

The other contained nothing but candy wrappers.

“Well, this guy was certainly prepared for the apocalypse,” I muttered, earning only a raised eyebrow from Bri.

Then I took a deep breath and patted down the pockets of his jeans to see whether they contained anything useful.

Unfortunately—or perhaps fortunately—they were empty.

“Let’s keep going, Bri. At least I don’t have to walk barefoot anymore.”

The moment I finished speaking, my Daimon once again drew my attention to the fact that something had happened. I reached for it with my thoughts and allowed it to deliver this vitally important information.

[Event Achievement Point earned: 1. Total Points Earned: 4. Source: “You are the first person on this world to successfully litter the crystal-clear waters of the Toad Spring. You should be proud of yourself. Are you?”]

“Who writes these descriptions?” I asked aloud, drawing my companion’s attention. “I just earned an achievement point for throwing those wrappers into the chasm, at the bottom of which, apparently, lies something called the Toad Spring,” I hurried to explain before she could respond. “What’s interesting is that whoever communicates with us through the system relayed by the Daimon is revealing knowledge we normally wouldn’t possess, such as the name of this place.”

“Mhm. That really is interesting.” Bri fell into thought. “I’m a little jealous of your, um… extra point. I only have two.”

[Event Achievement Point removed: 1. Total Points Earned: 3. Source: “Don’t get smart with us, wiseass.”]

“Never mind. The Daimon just took back the point I earned because I noticed a flaw in the system. Brilliant.” I sighed and waved for us to continue deeper into the cave.

Brigid flew ahead of me, gliding calmly above the narrow, winding ledge that clung to the cavern wall.

Not being able to see what lay at the bottom of the darkness beneath it bothered me somewhat. On the other hand, perhaps it was better that way, especially whenever one of my steps dislodged a loose stone and sent it tumbling into the black abyss.

Pressed against the wall, I continued like that for roughly ten minutes until we reached a natural balcony overlooking a larger chamber within the cave.

It was shaped almost like half a sphere. On one side—the one from which we had arrived—it ended in a steep drop. On the other, several tunnels led deeper into the rock. Blue grass grew across the walls, and on the chamber’s uneven floor, partly concealed behind several stalagmites, stood a small tent, with a lit campfire sending black smoke to gather at the uneven stony ceiling of the cave.

It belonged, I assumed, to the humanoid currently standing near the edge of the precipice.

The creature held some kind of horn to its large, flat nose and moved as though searching for something, inhaling the scents the device gathered for him. He was large and broad—wider across the shoulders than I was and far more muscular. Too muscular, even.

His physique looked like something that did not belong to a human. Neither did his face. Apart from the flattened nose, he had a broad, protruding lower jaw from which yellowed tusks emerged. His dark brown skin was covered in gray patterns, either tattoos or ordinary paint. It was difficult to tell from above.

He wore nothing but a loincloth covering his ass and genitals, while coarse brown fur grew across his back and the tops of his shoulders.

“Is that a human?” Bri's voice barely reached me. She edged closer but kept her gaze fixed on the figure.

“I don’t think so. The alien said this world was based on myths from our Earths, so he’s probably some kind of troll, or an orc, or some other monstrosity.”

“What is he doing with that horn?”

“I don’t know. Getting high? I have no idea.”

“What do we do?” she asked, hiding behind the natural wall of stone from which we were observing the creature.

“Weren’t you the one who told me politeness required us to introduce ourselves?”