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Failiens (Patreon)

Published:
2026-08-27 01:16:34
Edited:
2026-08-28 10:19:12
Imported:
2026-11

Content

Ive been working on this for weeks, i had this elaborate crime mystery idea, meant as the start of an alien earth outbreak story that i hoped would be cool but it kept expanding and i couldnt really make it make sense.. fail /:

the lesson i guess is just plan properly and script tightly in future and i wont end up throwing so much good time after bad. heres what i actually made anyway.

Edit here is a sort of condensed sketch of the story i had in mind, any help with the plot holes would be appreciated!

So in my vague idea, she is the great great x 5 granddaughter of the old woman in the study watching the horses go through their paces. The old woman is President Disney Yutani, the last human President CEO in a world of AI corps.. The Hand, a cult backed by the AI Mother penetrates their security snd manages to steal a xenomorph egg or the black goo or something, and knocks out all the androids and security drones leave the 2 humans exposed. The princess fires on the troopers causing one to spill the goo, which splashes a pregnant horse in the stalls causing it to birth a monstrous siamese demon horse which goes berserk attacking the troopers. The CEO improvises an escape by dumping her mind into a queen alien body and then moves to grab her granddaughter, who still has a functional exit code for the large door in the roof, before the orbital strike she ordered arrives to sterilise the penthouse and the Hand troopers. The Girl makes off on her horse with the queen in pursuit. The monster horse luckily attacks a troopers with a shoulder mount laser just before it fires on the Queens ship. She grabs the girl, they open the door and (maybe) escape, as the orbital strike arrives obliterating everything. Later a police crime scene investigation team arrive trying to puzzle out why the CEO/Queen called in the strike on her own penthouse seemingly killing herself and her family and staff and destroying her biolab and university chapel etc. It all sort of added up in my head but is riddled with the sort of annoying plot contrivances and holes that bother me in movies and the more I tried to patch them the worse it got. I just ran out of steam. Any ideas on how to fix it up?

Files

Comments

Eric Ralph

idk, I feel like many or most of us would be totally fine with you investing heavily in projects you're excited about, even if it takes months with just the occasional progress report! in my experience, the process of making art is more often than not messy and fitful and full of dead-ends

Captain Button

So she is the princess who is the key who can activate the ultimate weapon to save the universe? Or something?

Bram Eulaers

Not a failure to my eyes, a lot of rad ideas in this sequence. Thank you so much for sharing!

Terrance Jeffords

That's really good! Nicely done. Good setup there for the story.

Charlie Youngren

I'm sharing a lot of the same feelings with a project I'm in the middle of right now and it's actually helping me a lot to hear you talk about this. Funnily enough I was reaching almost the opposite conclusion, where I felt like I was spending so much time planning and reworking things that the work I had to show was so minimal compared to the effort it took. For what it's worth, I had a lot of fun looking through those images. Your work always lingers in my imagination in a way that I don't get from many other people.

AlexDuneBrady

So in my vague idea, she is the great great x 5 granddaughter of the old woman in the study watching the horses go through their paces. The old woman is President Disney Yutani, the last human President CEO in a world of AI corps.. The Hand, a cult backed by the AI Mother penetrates their security snd manages to steal a xenomorph egg or the black goo or something, and knocks out all the androids and security drones leave the 2 humans exposed. The princess fires on the troopers causing one to spil the goo, which splashes a oregnant horse in the stalls causing it to birth a monstrous siamese demon horse which goes berzerk attacking the troopers. The CEO improvises an escape by dumping her mind into a queen alien body and then moves to grab her granddaughter, who still has a functional exit code for the large door in the roof, before the orbital strike she ordered arrives to sterilise the penthouse and the Hand troopers. The Girl makes off on her horse with the queen in pursuit. The monster horse luckily attacks a troopers with a shoulder mount laser just before it fires on the Queens ship. She grabs the girl, they open the door and (maybe) escape, as the orbital strike arrives obliterating everything. Later a police crime scene investigation team arrice trying to puzzle out why the CEO/Queen called in the strike on her own penthouse seemingly killing herself and her family and staff and destroying her biolab and university chapel etc. It all sort of added up in my head but is riddled with the sort of annoying plot contrivances and holes that bother me in movies and the more I tried to patch them the worse it got. I just ran out of steam. Any ideas on how to fix it up?

AlexDuneBrady

Im always so thankful to have such understanding and supportive crew i really want to make cool stuff thats fun to see so I get dejected when I crash the bus. Thabks for such a kind message Eric

AlexDuneBrady

Thankyou Bram for such a nice note! Maybe I can salvage something somehow

AlexDuneBrady

Hey thankyou so much Terrance, i edited the caption above to sketch out the story a bit but its riddled with holes id be very grateful for any ideas!

AlexDuneBrady

I feel that too! Hardly anything to show for what felt like a lot of work.. but yeah mainly out of starting before really plotting it out. I find usually I sort of improvise based on images ive already made letting them fall into an order and the fixing up any gaps, but this was one of he first tries at actually making a story first then rendering it and i just lost control of it! I need to take a hatchet to it and cut it down to something manageable, but i guess this asskicking is valuable experience of how this process can go. What are you working on? I can offer a 2nd opinion if you need some fresh eyes on it.

Charlie Youngren

Thanks for the offer! It's more like a game project in my case, I'm struggling to get something looking and generating the way I want it to. Eventually I'll be working on the art side of it but I got stuck on this for longer than I thought, and a lot of it is living in my head right now without a good way to show it. Anyways, if I get a demo working you can definitely try it :D