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Rescue Me (Patreon)

Published:
2023-03-07 02:09:18
Imported:
2026-06

Content

make sure she's had her shots

Files

Comments

Zig Justice

I was bit by a scientist once. It turned me into a genius. . o O (I got better...)

James Redekop

A scientist once bit my sister...

Dave Soetanto

*”get her power suit and have it bite you”

Andrew

Wait, so it’s the animals that are studying the scientists in their natural habitat?

Pope Discordius

I've had friends you couldn't say that much about...

David Durant

I love Claire but how the hell is it the responsibility of the local librarian to look after anyone beyond friends and family?

hollowsoul

I was bitten by a radioactive scientist in 1997 and now have dangerous peer review powers.

Chauncey

I’m all for Claire and Marten adopting the science gremlin!

Jeffrey Anderson

Instead of biting me, she blinded me...with science.

Tyler

A scientist bite my sister once

Matt Grayson

yeah, didn't think I'd get here in time to make that comment.

Matt Grayson

And then Veronica moves in next door ...

ValdVin

"In the arrrms of an aaaangell..."

ValdVin

Everybody knows: If it's not radioactive, the effects aren't permanent.

Tom wilson

Have you ever visited a public library? Besides, it's pretty obvious that what this ship needs is not a librarian. It's a captain.

Tom wilson

Their first baby! How cute!

Mad Marie

A bunch of scientists once tried to do a double blind study on feral scientists…they ended up biting themselves.

MikeT

"A scientist bit my sister once"

ValdVin

(You beat me. This time (twirls moustache).)

Mad Marie

Did it grant you…supervision?

Zig Justice

If only I'd been a genius to begin with, then I'd have been smart enough to get bitten by a radioactive scientist. . o O (RIP my intellect...)

Rich Holmes

Well, maybe not, but definitely scientier.

Mad Marie

I think it’s time to go to the nearest eyewash station…

Mad Marie

This frickin’ cube.

Yelling Bird

Liz totally needs to be taken in as an assistant/daughter.

Mad Marie

…and then have it bite my sister, once.

Mad Marie

“A scientist became my sister once”

Mad Marie

If one is bitten by a scientist, does that make one then become a scientist?

KSib

This needs more likes

Mad Marie

(aka the “Post chomp ergo propter chomp” fallacy)

Fart Captor

Oh yeah she's DEFINITELY a biter. Head pats would be very risky

Mad Marie

(or should that be “Post doc ergo propter croc”?)

Mad Marie

Once bitten, twice sci.

David Durant

Lest we forget, we already have evidence that Elizabeth already has a caring family that she's been pushing away. At this point she should get off the damn island and go and spend some time with her folks / siblings and not think about "what she's supposed to be" for a while (and get some therapy). I'd be sad to see her drop out the comic for now but it's by far the best thing she could do.

Todd Ellner

I was an adventurer like you until I took a lab tech to the knee

Todd Ellner

Librarian is her title. Chief of Staff is her job. I hope it comes with the budget, authority, and resources to do the job

Todd Ellner

A peer, are you? That's okay. We can put sawdust down on the floor

Mad Marie

“A scientist bit my sister…” What number are we up to in the comments now? “…four times.” (at least)

Mad Marie

…but totally worth it.

Mad Marie

“You see, Watson: from a closer examination of the precise pattern of bite marks on this victim, we can deduce that we are dealing with not two separate scientists (as Moriarty wants us to think), but a single scientist with two PhDs.” “Astounding, Holmes!” “Post-Doctoral, my dear Watson.”

MikeT

No front-loading washing machines involved

MikeT

*nastii

MikeT

We apologise again for the fault in the scientist maintenance. Those responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked, have been sacked.

Tudza

I think it causes you to wander into labs until you get bit by a radioactive something.

Miyaa

This explains why so many science journals have paywalls.

Miyaa

GDI Marie

Jennifer Doyle

What do you get when you cross a feral scientist with an octopus? A strongly worded letter from the ethics committee.

Miyaa

So I’ll ask a few questions that has yet been asked here: is Liz house trained? Does she need a medical bath? Do we need to put her in a science cone of shame for a while? (Keeps her from trying to take over Newfoundland and Labrador.)

Todd Ellner

"But Holmes, how did the bite wounds tell you one of the PhDs was in metallurgy?" "Alum entry"

Karvil

At least she's not a geologist; those folks are always licking weird rocks, & you never know what a bite may carry

Nicolas Demers

Good news, there's no such thing in Cubetown!

fizzlefist

And an immediate cessation of grant funding

Michael Boettger

I like to see that Claire is genuinely concerned with the friendship between Marten and Faye. Recognizing all that the two have been through, and is genuinely concerned about the effect of her and Marten moving away. Also the teasing about Marten finding strays. So a question; at the beginning of her arc, would Claire have been considered a stray?

awgiedawgie

Nah. Claire may have been just a kitten, but she wasn't a stray.

Todd Ellner

A lucrative Hentai Onlyfans sideline

Yonatan Zunger

This is clearly one of those places where names and/or titles acquire meaning. _The Librarian_ only tangentially having to do with managing actual books, for example, and really being "the person you talk to if you need to actually get anything done."

Gabe P

The directors of Cubetown hired to continue the scientist maintenance after the other people had been sacked, wish it to be known that they have just been sacked. The facility has been completed in an entirely different style at great expense and at the last minute.

Bagge

The Librarian has arived. Tremble, Cubetown

MikeT

...dangerously close to the truth

Pejo

I still have my first-run Teh shirt, well-worn as it is. 😅

Pejo

Like The Keymaker in The Matrix, or The Doctor in Doctor Who.

Andrew

Only during full moons?

James Redekop

I only bothered to try because the comic dropped while I was already looking at my phone.

Andrew

“There charge will be biting in the 2nd degree”

James Redekop

I have friends & family who are librarians... They look after *anybody* who walks through the door.

Andrew

Feral scientists are easily startled, but they soon return with greater funding.

William Cole

According to Faye, a baby duckling.

Jasper

Things are afoot for QC, readers, things are most certainly afoot

Brian

No really! She was carving her initials into the scientist with the sharpened end of an interspace toothbrush given to her by Sven

Steve H

And they skip all the diaper costs and potty training.

SpookyPenguin

But does she weigh the same as a duck?

enchantedsleeper

Presenting: Liz's Plan (in the style of the Gru's Plan meme) 1. Get The Librarian's partner alone 2. Ask him to petition The Librarian not to take the job or she'll find out about my desperate situation (in the process revealing said desperate situation) 3. The Librarian takes the job to save me from my desperate situation ... oh

enchantedsleeper

@Todd Ellner The exact joke I was going to make xD

ACasualObserver

At least geologists can easily be subdued by a wooden bat, since the can only see rocks and minerals

Vanillastump .

Oddly enough, she weighs significantly less. Her lack of weight is explained by some experiment at Cubetown.

Mark

I can easily see Claire being the head librarian in the writing prompt that I've seen on Facebook a few times- ""Sanctuary," the child cried running into the library "Nice try," the guard following after sneered, "but only holy places can grant sanctuary." The librarians glanced at each other. A small nod The head librarian gave the guard a stern look. "Sanctuary granted"" https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/vso1dy/wp_sanctuary_the_child_cried_running_into_the/

David Durant

I don't think it's a term anyone should be using about anyone else - it's inherently patronising and derogatory

David Durant

That way lies absolute madness. If you have to guess who you need to speak to about anything or only learn through word of mouth it imlies a hugely disfunctional organisation - which Cubetown is but Claire should be trying to help fix, not play into by accepting a job title that seems likely to have little to do with the majority of her day-to-day work.

Daystreamer

This would be appreciated. We like our province un-taken-over, thank-you-very-much!

Courtney Welch

Hmmm. The perfect track for this would be Breabach's version of Dougie MacLean's "Rescue Me", but the only Youtube link I can find is to the entire album, which seems a bit excessive...

Mad Marie

^In Cubetown, phone drops while already looking at comic.

Mad Marie

“…dangit, Moray! You forgot to order more sacks!”

That Blair Guy

No. Claire’s pretty well-adjusted and has life goals. If anything, it’s Marten who’s the “stray” in that relationship.

Mad Marie

The wooden bat can only land the hit by echolocation though.

Mad Marie

Is it like the Fontella Bass classic?

Courtney Welch

No, totally different song. There's a haunting delicacy to Breabach's version that seems to fit.

Dennis Turgeon

Man I just really love that Claire is going to, or will at least try to save cube town from itself not with action scenes or superpowers (probably…super powered Claire would be kinda dope) but instead with attention to detail and empathy, which are the things that usually save people in our modern world. It’s very thematic

Some Ed

@Edward Clayton Andrews: It *used* to grant first crack at critique. But that radioactive scientist bit a lot of people before they were put down.

Some Ed

She has a family that cares about the daughter they thought they had. It's probable that Elizabeth is a very different person than they imagine. I mean, it's my impression that most of us have that issue going on with our parents, but some of us have it a lot worse than others. I doubt that Elizabeth would have left like this had it not been the case. Ok, yes, there are some people who are just worried about facing their parents after not living up to their expectations after they've seen what happened to their friends when their friends didn't live up to the parents' expecations. But that seems rarer to me than people who actually have issues with their parents.

Some Ed

This may seem high to you, but it's a sad fact of the world that most scientist bites go unreported. Frequently, this is because the victims do not think that any action will be taken to their benefit. Unfortunately, in many cases they're right.

Stephen Wells

Up until now I honestly thought this week's conversation was happening on board Ol' Boaty.

Clifton Royston

Claire knows what she's about here. Her first action in her new job will be to hire an actual librarian, to find out whether they *have* a library and set one up if they don't. That librarian will be referred to as 'The Librarian's Librarian', in equally awed tones.

Clifton Royston

I am surprised that I actually understood that reference, thanks to my nb kid getting me to start reading some Nisioisin a while ago.

Photon

Child prodigies are often artificially constructed by overzealous parental units, so...

Photon

Nobody in Cubetown is *ever* sacked, it seems. Succeed, fail, leave, flounder, go underground...

Joe

No realli! She was Karving her initials on the scientist with the sharpened end of an interspace toothbrush given her by Svenge—her brother-in-law— an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian movies: "The Hot Hands of an Oslo Dentist", "Fillings of Passion", "The Huge Molars of Horst Nordfink"...

Joe

Mynd you, scientist bites Kan be pretti nasti...

Some Ed

You hadn't realized that already?

Some Ed

Opus, I think most of us were bitten by something as children. Being a bit more specific could be helpful.

Colleen Dewis

Mostly we scientists only bite when asked, or if you are a racist/ misogynist/ homophobic or transphobic.

Ursus Ridens

Get Hanners and Winslow up here right away! Claire needs help cataloging and flowcharting all the stuff to do, and -- oh, gee, I just ship Winslow and Liz (which could be a long, convoluted story right there.)

Ursus Ridens

Marie and Todd both have to go stand in the corner for those twisted puns.

Mad Marie

Nobody puts Maddie in the corner.

JourneymanWizard

How is Claire's hair blowing and Martin's hair staying still?

Brian Mann

Marten was photoshopped in.

Karvil

Yes, but only if you coat it carefully in different things so they get distracted with trying to lick the ID of material out of it

Tim Keating

He's all emo and shit, how regularly do you think he washes it? Claire on the other hand has an elaborate hair-care regimen specifically to achieve this effect.

B.G. Paulus

Well, that's what the cheeky Mice have been doing ... Can't really say about any other hyper-intelligent pan-dimensional creatures ...