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Chapter 33: Hammer and Scalpel (Patreon)

Published:
2025-10-20 11:25:02
Edited:
2026-03-01 04:38:29
Imported:
2026-06

Content

[REDACTED -- Read on RoyalRoad for most recent version]

Comments

Vas

Thanks for the chapter. I think you may need to just do a better job of linking Thal's thought process to his actions. It's okay if he doesn't always make, what we believe to be, the best decision, but the decision at least needs to conform to his current knowledge, logic, and reasoning ability. I mean he's already acknowledged it's a small town and that his actions can't be hidden and the inconsistency between his hunting actions and his practice actions will expose him and even Corrine here begins to question his actions. To have the Mc acknowledge that and not take further action beyond saying "he got lucky" and continue his performance just seems pretty lazy in writing. For example: Has the Mc taken the time to get more information on the conscription? Thought about solutions or possible responses to the training captain for the inevitable confrontation? Thought about possible scenario's where his information is investigated through the hunting guild. Giving a brief look into his reasoning on why he just showed up the next day and continued to fumble in his training practice would go a long way to making his actions seem less chaotic and weird to us readers. It could be as simple as, "Caleb thought about the issue dealing with his previous actions. He found he could do nothing momentarily and decided to continue the ruse while he looked for solutions." And we would understand the "why" behind it whether we agreed with his actions or not. Hope this helps!

Jon Stonekey

Thanks for the feedback Vas! I was trying to cover some of that with his moment of reflection before entering the Inn in the previous chapter, but it's good to know that it still feels a bit disconnected at training the next day. I'll make a note of it on the revision tracker and try to look at it a bit harder in the future.