TWD - Zomboid - Chapter 320: If You Get Infected, No Big Deal. Just Have Some Honey (Patreon)

What did he mean, his wives were going to have babies?

Jill was completely dumbfounded.

She wasn't exactly uneducated, yet somehow that perfectly simple sentence left her reeling.

"Alright, if you're fine, get up and take a couple of steps. Let's see if that foot moves properly!"

Luke had no obligation to explain himself. He simply gave Jill's calf a couple of pats.

"Done!"

Jill gently moved her foot.

There was still a dull ache, but it felt much better than before. At least the bone was back where it belonged instead of sitting out of alignment.

"You're surprisingly good at this," Jill said.

"Of course. I'm a renowned connoisseur in the Commonwealth. My standards are impeccable, and I always make sure my ingredients are top quality and safe!"

Luke gave her a thumbs-up.

Jill was lost again.

"What did you do before all this?"

She pulled her pant leg back down, covering her calf.

"I've been a firefighter. Worked as an agent too..."

Luke gave her the short version of his résumé.

Relatively speaking, it wasn't half bad.

Jill's expression turned serious.

"Anyway, I still owe you an apology. I misjudged you earlier, so I hope you won't hold it against me. It was part of my job."

She continued, "Like I said, if we make it back alive, I'll buy you a drink."

Luke paused.

Was she seriously still trying to hook up with him?

This time, Luke behaved himself.

After all, his aim had been getting more and more accurate lately. If he hit the mark again and ended up with another kid, things would really get out of hand.

At that rate, he'd turn into some post-apocalyptic Casanova.

"Just so you know, he's got several wives," Claire leaned over and whispered to Jill.

"Get out of here!"

Luke gave her a kick.

"I'll tell her myself. Other people stay out of it. I've got my own pace, alright?"

Claire took the kick to the butt, yelped, and hurried off to the side.

"Oh? So you're actually quite the romantic."

Jill raised an eyebrow, the corner of her mouth curling upward.

She looked at Claire.

"Don't tell me there's something between you two as well?"

Claire rubbed her butt and lifted her chin.

"Not a chance. I'm not interested in him at all. He's a huge flirt who leaves a trail of women everywhere. He's basically..."

Claire managed to rant about Luke for a good while without even swearing once.

"So what you're saying is that, aside from being a womanizer, he'd actually make a pretty good boyfriend?" Jill asked with a wink.

Claire pursed her lips and walked over to the window to keep watch.

Luke felt a chill run down his back.

"Don't even joke about that. I could end up with anyone, but never Claire..."

Chris was a teammate jinx.

Claire was a boyfriend jinx.

Cthulhu was indescribable... alright, that one didn't count.

Anyone reckless enough to become Claire's boyfriend would probably die right in front of her within minutes.

The Redfield family was cursed!

But then again...

Luke thought about it carefully.

His Luck was already maxed out.

Claire's little curse probably wasn't much of a threat anymore.

Nah.

He already had enough wives.

Better not go there!

After checking the defenses around the supermarket, Rebecca took out a portable pheromone sprayer and sprayed each of the four corners.

"Am I seriously the only one doing any work around here? Could the three of you at least help? You're all standing around chatting like this place is perfectly safe."

Her back and waist aching, Rebecca walked over and leaned against the wall with an exasperated expression.

The scientist hadn't been out in the field for a long time.

And the first assignment she got was this intense.

Her poor back was barely holding up.

"Hey, I'm giving you a chance to shine! I'm the MVP of the team. Obviously, cleanup duty belongs to the rest of you."

Luke immediately started showing off.

"That's called division of labor! Ever read The Wealth of Nations?"

In his previous life, he'd actually been fairly well-read.

He'd read several books.

Though somehow, it always seemed to be dawn before he got very far.

"If I remember correctly, the division of labor is covered in the very first chapter," Rebecca said, glancing at him. "Don't tell me you only read the beginning and then passed out?"

Luke surrendered immediately.

Right.

He'd forgotten there was an actual intellectual heavyweight here.

His level of knowledge probably put him ahead of ninety percent of ordinary Americans.

Unfortunately, Rebecca happened to belong to the other ten percent.

"You two actually seem pretty good together too," Jill said, happily enjoying the show.

From what she'd observed, neither woman's attitude toward Luke seemed entirely innocent.

"Stop trying to play matchmaker. Go stir trouble somewhere else," Luke grumbled at Jill.

Back when he'd played the games, he'd always thought Jill was nothing but a pure tank.

Now it turned out she was a genuine troublemaker too.

Rebecca brushed her hair back and lightly ran an index finger along her chin, her skin smooth and delicate.

Then she deliberately struck a seductive pose.

"...Too bad a certain someone can't be won over no matter what I try. Otherwise, I wouldn't necessarily mind."

She smiled.

"The price wouldn't even be that high. Just ten or twenty vials of blood... maybe a little 'essence' too..."

"Tissue samples would be even better..."

"And a few overnight X-ray scans..."

"But a certain someone just doesn't know how to appreciate romance!"

Luke's teeth practically hurt just listening to her.

If she wanted him dead, she could just say so.

There was no need to come up with such a shameless excuse.

As the four of them continued chatting, the roars outside gradually began to fade.

Most of them were moving farther away.

"Finally, some peace and quiet."

Luke clapped his hands.

Only then did Claire turn serious.

"So what now? Are we really going to punch our way through the horde with our bare hands and have you personally fight your way across Atlanta?"

"What's with the rehearsed speech? You practicing for an audition or something?"

Luke patted the wall.

"What else can we do? We're already stuck here. Might as well get some sleep first!"

Jill moved over to the window.

"My foot still hurts too much to sleep. I'll wait until later tonight."

Luke pulled a bottle of painkillers from his pocket and tossed it to her.

He'd stockpiled plenty of the stuff and had barely ever used any of it.

Painkillers were extremely useful in the apocalypse.

Aside from their normal medicinal value, certain chemicals could also be extracted from them and used with a knife handle and a card...

Actually, never mind.

No need to get into that.

In any case, they made useful trade goods.

Later on, though, Luke never really had the chance to trade them.

Most of the groups they encountered, especially the ones that looked like they enjoyed getting high, weren't exactly good people.

So Luke had Merle send them off somewhere better.

That left them with quite a stockpile of painkillers.

"You carry painkillers around with you?"

Jill examined the label.

There were a hell of a lot of them in there.

At least a hundred pills in one bottle.

Still, this stuff wasn't exactly harmless.

You could buy bottles containing anywhere from a hundred to a thousand pills in plenty of stores.

Some people practically ate them like candy.

"I'm an expert in post-apocalyptic survival. Carrying a bottle of painkillers around makes perfect sense, doesn't it?" Luke said.

Giving Jill painkillers was absolutely worth it.

This woman had once taken multiple punches and kicks from Nemesis and still kept fighting through her injuries until she'd shot the thing to pieces.

Jill might not be as ridiculously durable as Lara, but a bottle of painkillers was enough to keep an absurdly powerful fighter in action.

"Too bad we met so late. If you'd been in Raccoon City back then, I would've run away with you for sure!"

Jill poured out a pill and was about to swallow it, but decided the dose looked a little high.

She broke it in half, took one piece, then tossed the rest of the bottle back to Luke.

"My mouth's dry. Don't tell me you've got water in that pocket too."

Luke shook his head.

"I'm not Doraemon. I can't just reach into my pocket and pull out whatever I want."

He gestured around them.

"We're in a supermarket. Go find yourself a couple bottles of water. If that doesn't work, take a few sips from the toilet..."

Jill rolled her eyes.

"The virus in this city has probably contaminated the water supply already. Wouldn't drinking toilet water infect me?"

"Just take some vitamins beforehand. Even if you do get infected, it's no big deal. Take some antibiotics, or have some honey."

Luke offered the terrible advice with a straight face.

Rebecca walked over and pinched his nose.

"Stop giving people ridiculous advice..."