Supernatural - Chapter 54: Safe Distance (Patreon)

The night before.

After escorting Murphy to her bedroom, Dean headed back downstairs.

They hadn't finished clearing the table. Empty plates and a few glasses were scattered across it, although someone had already taken the cutlery away. Sam was washing something in the kitchen. His hands paused when he heard footsteps on the stairs.

Dean had been unsure how to broach the subject, but the sight of his brother standing there so stiffly suddenly made it seem a lot simpler.

“Is she asleep?” Sam asked before he could speak.

“Mm-hmm. Her head hit the pillow and she was out. At least that part was easy.”

Sam nodded and went back to washing what he was holding.

Dean stacked the remaining plates, then emptied the last few drinks into the vacant sink. They worked in silence for a while, and Sam showed absolutely no intention of bringing up what had just happened.

Dean held out as long as he could before finally speaking.

“So... you kissed her back.”

The clean fork in Sam's hand fell into the sink with a sharp clatter.

He couldn't bring himself to look at his brother. “I'm sorry.”

Dean leaned against the counter and watched him.

He was seriously pissed off. His girlfriend had kissed his own little brother right in front of him, and his brother had actually kissed her back. There was no possible way to feel good about that.

Still, he understood what had happened.

Murphy had been so drunk that her usual common sense was nowhere to be found. All it had taken was his casual reminder that Sam and Bobby were still there for her to conclude it would be unfair to kiss only Dean.

And Sam hadn't seen it coming at any point. He'd frozen in place when Murphy suddenly kissed him.

Except for those last two seconds.

Dean sighed. “First off, I want to make it clear that I don't like this. Not one bit.”

Sam stood with his head lowered, not moving a muscle. He looked like a puppy about to be kicked out of the house.

“But somebody in this family has to be the grown-up. And I don't actually think it's that big a deal, so you can stop standing there looking like you're begging for forgiveness.”

Only then did Sam dare lift his head and look at him.

Dean gently set another plate in the sink and continued. “She kissed you first, and you lost control for a second and kissed her back. It sucks, but it's done.”

Sam obviously hadn't expected any of this to happen tonight either. After a long silence, he said quietly, “I promise it won't happen again.”

Dean was turning back toward the table, but the words made him stop and frown.

“What's that supposed to mean?”

Sam looked baffled by his reaction. “What do you mean?”

“You're not planning to avoid Murphy from now on, are you?”

“...No?” Sam answered hesitantly.

“You'd better not be.” Dean went back to clearing the table with rather more noise than necessary.

Sam stared at him, looking genuinely bewildered. He clearly hadn't expected Dean to react like this.

To Dean, though, there was nothing strange about it. He'd known for ages that Sam liked Murphy.

He couldn't have said exactly when he'd noticed. Ever since that business with the Trickster, Sam had been acting a little off.

No one knew Sam better than he did, and it wasn't like Dean was blind.

He'd simply chosen not to ask.

Back then, his own death was looming. He hadn't even known whether he'd survive May, so he certainly hadn't had the energy to worry about whom his little brother had fallen for.

Besides, at the time, it hadn't seemed like a bad thing. Sam liked Murphy, and Murphy cared a lot about Sam. If Dean really died, at least the two of them might lean on each other and move forward instead of drowning in grief.

Except Dean hadn't died, and Murphy had agreed to be with him. Now things were complicated, even if he'd brought the complications on himself.

He had no intention of backing out to give Sam his chance just because Sam liked her too. He and Murphy had worked too hard to reach this point. Dean hadn't lost his mind.

More importantly, Murphy wasn't some possession the brothers could pass back and forth between them. That would show no respect at all for what she wanted.

It was just incredibly annoying that the other person who loved her had to be Sam, of all people.

With that thought, Dean tossed the dishcloth onto the counter. “Listen. I've known you liked Murphy for a long time.”

Sam's head snapped up.

“Don't look at me like that. I'm not blind,” Dean said. “I never asked because I didn't see the point. You can like her all you want. I'm just the guy who was good enough to win her over first.”

Sam opened his mouth, but no words came out.

“Now you've got a more immediate problem.” Dean pointed toward the ceiling. “You know how good Murphy's memory is. And I seriously doubt she drank enough to black out.”

“Oh... God...” Sam groaned in despair, raising his hands to cover his face before remembering they were covered in suds.

Seeing his brother's expression turn even more miserable instantly improved Dean's mood. He even felt a little malicious satisfaction.

“Good luck with that.” Dean handed off everything left to wash and wandered away, humming cheerfully.

-

Murphy sat on her bed and thought about it for ages without coming up with a convincing explanation.

She had never been particularly good at dealing with romantic matters. People had liked her before, but unless they came right out and said so, she wasn't self-important enough to assume they must be interested in her.

Now, however, she couldn't stop replaying the events of the previous night, especially what it had felt like to kiss Sam.

She lifted a hand to her lips. Then her memory took an unexpected turn, landing on something that had happened several months earlier.

Back then, she'd just finished showering. She'd only moved a little closer to Sam, yet he'd reacted strangely. And when she'd gone back into the bathroom afterward, she'd caught a slightly unusual smell.

At the time, she'd assumed it was simply Sam being a young man with an active libido. A perfectly normal physical response between two adults was hardly cause for alarm... right?

She hadn't wanted to embarrass him, so she'd pretended she'd never noticed anything.

Oh, stop thinking about it!

Murphy slammed the brakes on that train of thought, refused to revisit the memory, and hurried into the bathroom to take a shower.

-

By the time Murphy finished showering and came downstairs, the kitchen smelled of sizzling bacon.

She hadn't dried her hair completely. Her dark hair fell loosely across her shoulders, and she was doing her best to act as though nothing was out of the ordinary.

Sam was frying bacon in the kitchen, while Dean was working the toaster beside him.

At the sound of her approach, both brothers looked up without thinking.

Murphy's breath caught. Her gaze darted helplessly from one brother to the other, and she had no idea whom to look at. Fortunately, Dean spoke first.

“Morning, drunkard.” He actually sounded rather cheerful.

“Who's a drunkard?” Murphy's awkwardness vanished beneath a fresh wave of indignation. “And why didn't you let me shower before going to sleep last night?”

Dean planted both hands on his hips and simply stared at the unreasonable woman in front of him.

Watching them, Sam felt his own embarrassment begin to fade. The scene was even a little funny.

Murphy scratched her cheek, her voice growing smaller under Dean's stare. “I don't care. Next time, no matter how I am, you have to let me shower before bed...”

“How exactly? Remember what happened the last time you fell asleep in the bathtub?” Dean tightened the belt of his bathrobe, adopting the stern tone of someone about to deliver a lecture.

“Uh...” Murphy thought he had an astonishing talent for bringing up things she'd rather forget. She hurried to change the subject. “The bacon's burning!”

Sam's thoughts had already wandered back to the time he'd rescued Murphy from the bathroom. Only when he smelled something scorching did he suddenly remember there was food in his pan.

“Oh my God!”

“Sam!” Dean's attention immediately swung toward his brother.

Murphy seized the chance to slip over to the dining table.

Sam scrambled to lower the heat and fished out several strips of bacon that were already turning black. Dean stood beside him looking heartbroken, as though Sam had ruined not a few pieces of meat, but some priceless delicacy bought with half a lifetime's savings.

“What the hell were you thinking about?”

“Sorry. I got distracted.”

Sam was far too embarrassed to tell Dean what had actually been on his mind. He silently flipped the bacon that was still salvageable.

Murphy watched the spectacle from the table, her earlier discomfort almost entirely forgotten. Dean was still complaining about Sam ruining breakfast, yet he was picking up a plate to collect the toast himself. She found herself wanting to laugh.

Yes. Things were much better this way.

Before long, breakfast was finally on the table.

Apart from a few half-burnt strips of bacon, everything else looked perfectly normal.

Dean dumped the worst of the bacon onto Sam's plate, claiming that whoever caused the damage had to take responsibility. Sam, the brother who normally ate healthier food, had no choice but to accept his punishment with a miserable expression.

The three of them enjoyed a leisurely breakfast together.

Murphy had been worried that last night's incident would make things awkward between them. So far, though, it didn't appear nearly as bad as she'd imagined.

At least, not on the surface.

As she ate, her gaze drifted toward Sam of its own accord.

He was spreading jam on his toast with his head down. His hair was still a little messy from sleep, with a few strands falling over his forehead. Apparently annoyed by them, he pushed them back with one hand.

Murphy looked away before either brother could notice, only for her mind to bring up the memory of Sam bending down to kiss her the night before.

Seriously? Why was she thinking about that again?

She quickly took a drink of milk and resolved to pay attention to breakfast instead.

It wasn't until Sam started gathering plates and preparing to go upstairs that Murphy remembered something more important.

“Wait a second.”

Sam stopped in his tracks.

She'd only wanted to apologize properly for the things she'd done while drunk, but seeing him react that way made her nervous too.

“It's just...” She picked at her fingers. “I'm sorry for what I did after I got drunk last night.”

The room fell quiet. Before Sam could even turn around, Dean spoke up.

“I forgive you.”

Murphy shot him a look, opened her mouth, then shut it. Finally, she couldn't resist saying, “I wasn't talking only to you.”

Sam had no choice but to turn back toward her.

His gaze made her feel inexplicably guilty. She cleared her throat. “Anyway, I wasn't thinking straight last night. Kissing you out of nowhere, and everything else, was sudden and pretty disrespectful to you. I'm really sorry.”

“It's okay,” Sam said, looking remarkably calm, although he was gripping the stair railing so tightly that his knuckles had gone white.

Murphy nodded uncertainly. She had more she wanted to say, but the sight of how tense he was made her think better of it.

When Sam realized she wasn't going to add anything, he visibly relaxed and made a quick escape upstairs.

Murphy watched him disappear onto the second floor with a suspicious expression, the two competing explanations in her head fighting for supremacy again.

Dean slowly finished the last of his coffee beside her and finally offered his opinion. “So, got anything to say to your boyfriend?”

“Dean.” Murphy dragged her chair a little closer to his. “Can I have a kiss?”

“You think one kiss is enough to make it up to me?” Dean folded his arms, plainly dissatisfied with the proposed number.

“How many do you want?” Murphy asked, feeling her cheeks burn as soon as the words left her mouth.

“Depends on how you...”

Dean didn't get to finish. Murphy leaned forward and shut him up with a kiss.

He evidently hadn't expected her to do that. His folded arms fell to his sides, and within a couple of seconds his hands found their way to her waist as naturally as breathing.

Murphy had only intended to give him one quick kiss to stop him talking, but Dean showed no interest in stopping there. By the time she finally pushed him away, her face was hotter than ever.

“Happy now?”

Dean licked his lips and put on an unimpressed expression. “Eh. Not bad.”

“Then that's all you're getting.”

“Hey!”

Murphy had already dragged her chair back to its original place.

Dean laughed for ages beside her, clearly in an excellent mood.

-

Nothing particularly eventful happened for the rest of the morning.

Sam shut himself in his study and didn't emerge. Murphy sat in the living room with her laptop, editing a new gameplay video. Dean claimed the long couch for himself and idly cleaned his gun while watching an old movie he'd probably seen a hundred times.

In the afternoon, Murphy checked the fridge and noticed they were nearly out of milk and eggs. She made a shopping list and prepared to go to the supermarket.

Sam happened to come downstairs and mentioned that he needed a few things too.

Murphy didn't give it a second thought. “Perfect. Let's go together.”

Sam hesitated briefly, then nodded.

Dean had no objection. He wasn't in the mood to go shopping anyway. After tossing Sam the keys to Baby, he made a point of warning him not to let Murphy drive.

Murphy was so annoyed that she shoved Dean down into the couch and vigorously ruffled his hair.

Once they actually reached the supermarket, Murphy found the atmosphere surprisingly normal. In fact, things were almost exactly as they usually were.

She'd expected Sam to be awkward, but apparently she'd been overthinking it after all.

Murphy pushed the cart while Sam held the list, and they chatted about what to buy as they walked. At the refrigerated section, Murphy reached for a carton of milk and Sam moved in behind her to help, as he usually would.

When the distance between them suddenly closed, he stiffened. Then, as if nothing had happened, he turned away to pick up something nearby.

Murphy: “...”

Was she supposed to read something into that, or not?

She chose not to say anything. Instead, when they reached the snack aisle and Sam picked up a bag of chips, she deliberately stepped close to him, pretending she wanted to examine the flavor.

“What flavor are those?”

“Cheese.” Sam felt goosebumps rise on his arms and instinctively sidestepped half a pace.

Murphy pretended she hadn't noticed and moved half a step closer herself.

Sam tried to endure it, but eventually he couldn't help calling her name.

“Murphy.”

“What?”

Sam looked down at the woman who was almost pressed against his side, completely at a loss for words.

Murphy, meanwhile, had already learned a little of what she wanted to know from his reaction.

She was almost amused, but as a smile began to spread across her face, she suddenly realized there was something strange about how pleased she felt.

If Sam really liked her, why did that make her happy?

Murphy put a little distance between them and pushed the cart onward, but her thoughts had started racing out of control.

She loved Dean. There was no question about that. The idea of giving up her relationship with him because of Sam seemed impossible even to contemplate.

But what if the alternative was Sam starting to avoid her? What if he gradually stopped spending time alone with her, until he finally retreated to some supposedly appropriate distance?

Murphy didn't want to think any further. She had abruptly realized that she didn't want to lose either of them.

The thought even slowed her steps as she pushed the cart.

Wait. Wasn't there something wrong with this line of thinking?

Murphy hurriedly stopped herself from following it any farther.

She was acting absurdly self-absorbed, imagining all sorts of distant consequences based on nothing more than a few suspicions. She really shouldn't be doing this.

Whatever. She'd focus on getting the shopping done for now. Everything else could wait.