Marvel: I’m Not Becoming Spider-Man - Chapter 1: Gwen (Patreon)

Synopsis:

If every Peter Parker who becomes Spider-Man ends up losing Uncle Ben, Peter has a simple solution.

“Then why don’t I just not become Spider-Man?”

“Come on, you stupid spider! Bite her! Why are you staring at me?”

Having just tossed the mutated spider onto Gwen, Peter found himself locked in a staring contest with it.

“What’s wrong, Peter? You’re acting really strange today. Ow!” Gwen reached for the back of her neck.

“Nothing. I might just die, that’s all,” Peter said with a smile.

...

“Mr. Parker, how would you respond to the rumors that Spider-Man is your sugar baby?”

“Where did that nonsense come from? Why couldn’t you pair me with Spider-Woman instead, you bastards?”

Peter Parker, CEO of the Parker Group, was furious with the press.

“Let me make this perfectly clear! I have nothing to do with those freaks in spandex! Spider-Man is a notorious criminal! If he’s such a champion of justice, why won’t he take off that mask?”

“Actually, Mr. Parker, there are also rumors that you’re Spider-Man, and your wife is...”

“Have you lost your minds? If I were Spider-Man, why would I spend all day wrecking my own factories and hospitals?”

“But your company always seems to be the first to buy up damaged properties at bargain prices after their battles...”

“Thompson! Get this idiot out of here!”

...

Chapter 1: Gwen

New York City, Midtown High School.

It was an ordinary public high school. Fortunately, thanks to an era of prosperity that had yet to draw to a close, even public schools could offer a decent education. As a result, Midtown had produced its share of scientific luminaries and, well, weirdos.

“Is this place some kind of breeding ground for weirdos? Oh, thank goodness nobody's handed me a pronoun quiz. Not yet, anyway.”

A boy sat with his legs crossed on top of a desk, talking away to himself.

Then he glanced toward the screen and continued, “Oh, you're asking about me?”

“That's enough! If you're going to keep whispering over there, you can answer the question, Peter!” the teacher called from the blackboard.

“All right, all right. I'm Peter Yang Parker, a high school student who's just started a new school year, and I'm preparing to face my absolutely dreadful future!”

“Hahahaha!”

“What are you talking about, Peter? The teacher wants you to answer the question! Listen to yourself! Hahaha!”

His completely irrelevant introduction sent the class into fits of laughter. Peter, however, showed not a trace of embarrassment at being laughed at.

Instead, he spread his hands toward a camera that didn't seem to exist. “You know, only kids find this sort of thing funny. If you're not embarrassed, everyone else gets to feel awkward instead.”

“Peter, I asked you a question about the lesson.” The teacher tapped the blackboard.

Peter shrugged. “Quantum mechanics is one of the central theories of modern physics. It describes the behavior of matter on a microscopic scale. Unlike classical physics, it uses probability to describe the states and behavior of particles. Its main features include wave-particle duality, the uncertainty principle, and so on.”

“Very well. Sit down, Peter. That's correct.” The teacher's expression softened considerably once he'd given the right answer.

Good grades or not, though, there was no hiding the truth.

The boy was a weirdo!

When the bell rang, the once-quiet classroom erupted into noise. Students streamed toward the door, forming groups of four or five and chatting about lunch or the latest big baseball star. Everyone seemed determined to protect their place in their little social circle.

There were only two exceptions.

Unlike the noisy crowd, the two students who remained in the classroom were unusually quiet, as though they inhabited an entirely different world.

Or perhaps “quiet” wasn't the right word. Both had been almost completely isolated by their classmates, and rumors had even begun to circulate about them.

A weirdo paired with another weirdo. What a perfect match.

“Hey, that little speech of yours was pretty interesting,” a girl said in a pleasant voice. “Seriously, who suddenly stands up and introduces himself like that?”

It was almost as though he'd done it deliberately, behaving so strangely that everyone would think him an incomprehensible lunatic and leave him alone to watch the world from the sidelines.

“Whoa, listen. You don't have to care about every single person's opinions. If you did, you'd spend your whole life exhausted.”

As he spoke, Peter turned to look at the girl beside him. Sunlight poured through the window in flecks of gold, catching in her golden, slightly wavy hair. Her features were delicate without losing their softness. She was, without question, a beautiful girl.

Her hoodie, shorts, and black stockings gave her a lively air. She seemed to notice him watching her. Her relaxed blue eyes slowly turned his way.

“I don't see it like that. If you act superior and shut everyone out, it won't end well for you.”

“I agree. That's why there are still certain people's opinions I care about.”

“Such as?” Gwen slipped the earphones from her pocket into her ears.

“Family. Brothers and sisters. Friends.” Peter rubbed his chin. “Because what kind of useful advice could I expect from an idiot like Thompson? It would be a miracle if he understood how to get a football between the goalposts.”

“Isn't he your friend?”

“If someone who comes looking for trouble every day just to impress his little gang counts as a friend, sure.” Peter shrugged. “Come on. I don't want to eat a cold hot dog bun. It's practically like chewing plastic.”

“Fine. Though I think there are times when you don't need to listen to those people, either.”

“Your father's annoyed you again, has he? Oh, let me guess. He's been lecturing you about your taste in music.”

“You always get it right, Peter.” Gwen pulled on her backpack and tugged her hood forward.

“I'll admit some of the lyrics are a little too explicit, but the music itself is great,” she complained. “His taste is stuck in the last century. He thinks it isn't good music unless somebody's singing it on Broadway.”

“Well, Broadway songs don't come with age ratings, do they?”

“Oh, come on, Peter. I'm old enough to get a driver's license. Even that idiot Carl has a girlfriend. Who knows when those two will start making out?” Gwen grumbled.

“My dad's such an old fossil. He needs to pay more attention to things from this century.”

“I actually think he has a point. Some age restrictions are worth following.” Peter could understand why teenagers going through their rebellious phase were always dissatisfied with their parents.

“Oh my God. I never thought you'd take his side. You two haven't even met!” Gwen tossed her bag into her locker.

“Your father's the police chief. I suspect he's seen a lot more than you imagine.”

“You sound like a stuffy old idiot yourself. Maybe you should be friends with my father instead of me.”

“If I ever get the chance to talk with him, I'd be honored.”

“Well, see you tomorrow, Peter.”

“See you tomorrow, Gwen.”

Peter watched her walk away, then whistled as he gathered up his things.

“All right, let's try that again. I'm Peter Yang Parker, a transmigrator, an Asian kid adopted by two mysterious scientists. Unbelievable, right? Has anyone ever heard of an Asian Spider-Man?

“And if I did become Spider-Man, would everyone expect me to be some kind of martial arts master?

“Forget it. I'm not becoming Spider-Man.”

Peter tapped Gwen's locker.

“She is.”

Gwen Stacy. In most stories, she was the girl who fell in love with Spider-Man. Across films, comic books, and animated series, she had appeared as one of Spider-Man's girlfriends, and she was pretty popular with fans.

Of course, things rarely ended well for her.

In The Amazing Spider-Man, the Green Goblin killed her. In the Spider-Man comics, the writers had even saddled her with a sordid storyline involving Norman Osborn and a pair of twins.

God only knew why those writers were so fond of forcing characters into relationships and giving people affairs just to stir up drama.

Still, a few versions of her had managed a slightly better fate.

For example, the ones where she became Spider-Man herself.

“Heroes always have to lose the people they love most. Apparently that's what makes their stories tragic.

“It works well enough on the screen. The audience feels sorry for them.

“But when all is said and done, who actually wants an unhappy ending?”