I’m Not Becoming Spider-Man - Chapter 30: A Worried Old Father (Patreon)

“All right, go on. I'm listening.”

“I'm telling you, I'm going to build myself a harem. There's no way I can agree to what you want.”

“Keep talking. I'm listening,” Mary Jane said with a nod.

“Damn it! Don't think I won't actually do it!”

“Then you'd better watch yourself. One night while you're asleep, I might take a chainsaw and cut you into pieces.”

“Oh my God, Mary Jane, can't you leave me alone? Just call me your brother, okay? I'll call you my sister. Please stop chasing after me!”

“So you like Gwen?”

“Uh... honestly, I do think Gwen's personality is a lot better than yours.”

Mary Jane aimed a kick at him. Peter dodged it.

“Peter, you bastard!”

“A second ago you said you'd listen to me. Now look who's getting worked up.”

“You!”

Mary Jane jumped to her feet and went after him. The two chased and tussled around the room for quite some time before she finally collapsed back onto the bed, gasping for air.

Peter wasn't even winded. Mary Jane looked at him bitterly. “Peter, if you really don't like me, can you please stop keeping my hopes up?”

“I don't like you that way, Mary Jane. I think of you as a little sister.”

“I don't believe you.”

“For crying out loud!” Peter finally lost his composure and flipped her the middle finger.

“Can't you just tell me the truth?”

“Please, Mary Jane, stop torturing me. How about I call you my big sister instead? Do you want me to lick your feet? I'll even do that!”

“You definitely like me.”

“We aren't right for each other, Mary Jane. I can't stand how controlling you are. I've told you that over and over.”

“Oh my God, I've given you so many chances! And look at you! You've already been doing all kinds of things with Gwen!”

“What things? What have I done with her?!”

“You talked to her!”

Peter nearly choked. “Would you only be satisfied if I were tied up in a basement where nobody could see me?”

Mary Jane actually looked as though she were considering it.

“Wait! That was a joke. At least let me see Aunt May and Uncle Ben!” Peter got up off the floor and settled into his chair. “Mary Jane, we can still talk to each other, can't we? I know you're trying to change. But give me a little more time. You need time too, all right?”

“No Gwen!”

“Fine, fine. No Gwen,” Peter said wearily. “Good grief. When have you ever seen Gwen and me do anything?”

“She's fallen for you already! How can you not know?”

“What? That's ridiculous. Am I some kind of flower that attracts every bee around?”

“Just stay away from her.”

“Can I at least spend time with Harley?”

“Well... stay away from him, too.”

“But he's a guy...”

“He's too girly! What if you start liking guys?!”

“You're seeing threats everywhere now.”

“And I'll keep acting this way until you agree to be with me. It's your fault.”

“You acted like this last time, too.”

“This time is different!” Mary Jane declared, puffing out her chest proudly. “I've improved a lot. At least I haven't tried to drag you off and elope this time.”

“That's only a little better than before. Mary Jane, it's late. Go home and get some sleep.”

“I'm sleeping here.”

“Don't be ridiculous. My bed isn't big enough for two people.”

“As if I've never slept in it before!”

“We're older now, Mary Jane. We've gotten bigger, but the bed hasn't.” Peter sighed. “If you insist, you can take the bed and I'll sleep downstairs on the couch. You wouldn't want to keep me awake all night, would you?”

“Fine, I'll go back.” At last Mary Jane relented and headed toward the window.

“Good night. Don't let me stop you... Hey, wait! Where are you going?!”

“Where else?” Mary Jane opened the window, planted a foot on the sill, and leaped across. She caught hold of the opposite window and climbed into her own room.

“Don't use the windows again next time!”

“Thank you for worrying about me, my dear Peter. See you tomorrow.”

“I'm locking mine, so don't try jumping across tomorrow,” Peter warned.

“You'd better.”

Mary Jane closed her window. The frosted glass revealed only a vague silhouette as she began taking off her top to change into pajamas.

Peter drew his curtains shut.

Back in bed, he put his hands behind his head. His thoughts were a mess.

What was his life turning into? If all these people ended up living together, he had a feeling things would only become more complicated.

“I guess I'll deal with it as it comes...”

...

George still hadn't agreed to let Gwen move out. There was nothing wrong with the home she already had. At worst, getting to and from school meant a little extra walking. Why go through the trouble and expense of renting somewhere else?

“I'd have more time for club activities. And you know I'm in a band now, right? That takes time too,” Gwen explained.

George kept his eyes on the road. “I worry about you. Can you handle living on your own? And why spend all that money?”

“Come on, Dad! I'm sharing with friends, not living by myself,” Gwen protested. “I can work out the money. Can't you at least hear me out?”

“I don't think it's a good idea, and that's my answer,” George said. “You're always hatching some new plan, but you're still a kid. As the adult here, I don't think renting a place away from home is reasonable.”

“Hmph!” Gwen was plainly furious.

George saw her unhappy face in the rearview mirror, and his resolve softened. “Oh, come on. I don't even know these roommates of yours. What if they're bad people?”

“I know how to choose my friends. Harley, Peter, even Mary Jane. There's nothing wrong with any of them.”

“I'll be the judge of that once I've met them,” George replied. The thought of some rotten little brat sweeping his precious daughter off her feet terrified him.

Ah, the troubles of a worried father.

“And I want to inspect the place where you'd be living,” he added. “After that, I'll give you an answer. Fair enough, Gwen?”

Gwen remained silent. George had reached the limit of what he was prepared to concede. He sighed, pulled up at the school gates, and watched as she opened the car door to leave.

“Hey, wait, Gwen!” He held out his arms. “Aren't you going to say goodbye?”

“Fine, fine!” Gwen gave him a hurried, irritated hug. “Happy now? Bye!”

“Mm-hmm. See you tonight.” George watched her walk away, relieved. Apparently, his daughter hadn't actually started to hate him.

Still, that girl really was something...

“Morning, Gwen!”

“Morning, Harley!”

George was about to get back into his car when he heard a voice that immediately set him on edge.

He turned and saw a slender boy. Well... it was a boy, wasn't it?

And that boy was chatting with his daughter?!