I’m Not Becoming Spider-Man - Chapter 62: Are You Hitting on Me? (Patreon)

"Harley, are you okay?"

"I... don't think so..."

Peter hauled her to her feet. She was already dizzy, and the sight of the Lizard barreling into the road and overturning several cars told him the situation was getting worse by the second.

"Quick, get Martha out of there! And bring the inhibitors!"

He pushed Harley back toward the apartment without stopping to consider whether she was in any condition to help. Martha needed to get somewhere safe, and there was no time to waste.

Peter pulled out his phone and called Gwen.

She had just finished showering and changed into her pajamas. She was wondering why Peter and Harley weren't home yet. That enormous monster had wrecked her internship before it had even properly begun, and now Dr. Connors had vanished. What a rotten day.

"Oh, Peter?"

"Hey, Gwen! Can you get in touch with Norma for us? The giant lizard is back! We're at..."

The moment he heard her voice, Peter hurriedly explained what was happening, gave her the address, and hung up.

"Peter? Peter?!"

Gwen froze. Then she snatched up her superhero suit and rushed out the window without even bothering to change first.

Peter, please. Please don't let anything happen to you!

...

"Hey, big lizard!"

Peter picked up the fallen American flag and waved it like a matador's cape, catching the Lizard's attention. The creature roared and lunged straight at him.

Peter threw the flag in its face to block its vision, then dashed back inside. The crowded interior gave him places to duck and turn. He knew perfectly well he couldn't outrun that thing in the open.

He raced up the stairs with the Lizard right behind him. Its enormous feet pounded against the steps, and its body bent the railing out of shape as it charged upward.

"What the hell is going on?!" A resident opened his apartment door, ready to yell at whoever was making such a racket. Instead, he saw Peter kick off the wall, grab the railing, and vault around the corner of the stairwell.

"Buddy, you'd better shut that door. Seriously, just close it and everything will be fine."

Peter planted a foot on the railing, jumped, caught hold of the next flight above, and pulled himself up out of sight.

"What the hell?!"

The man watched Peter's acrobatics in disbelief. He was just opening his mouth to complain again when a terrifying roar rang through the stairwell. An enormous creature thundered up the steps and slammed into the wall at the turn, unable to check its momentum.

"Oh my God!"

The resident slammed his door. Only after the commotion had died down did he dare open it again. He stared at the mangled railing and the massive footprints on the floor, swallowing hard.

What in the world was that thing?

Peter wanted to know the same thing! How could something so huge be that agile? If the monster hadn't been all pointed head and no brains, he'd already be dead.

He kept climbing, the Lizard following from below. The narrow staircase was the only thing slowing it down. In a wider space, it would have caught him ages ago.

Peter sprinted onto the roof, shouldered the door open, and slammed and locked it behind him. A cool evening wind struck his face.

"Whew!"

He ran a few more steps before realizing the obvious. He was on the roof. There was nowhere else to go.

At the edge, he glanced down at the dizzying drop and shrugged. Well, he was screwed.

The Lizard smashed through the roof door, roared at him, and came charging on all fours.

"Okay, okay." With death practically running at him, Peter could only resign himself to it. "Shall we give this a try?"

He watched the giant green reptile close the distance, drew a deep breath, and shouted at the top of his lungs.

"SPIDER-WOMAN!"

"ROAAAR!"

The creature was almost on top of him, claws already reaching out, when a flash of white swept past. Its attack struck empty air. Unable to stop, the Lizard sailed straight over the edge of the building.

"Afraid of heights?" Gwen asked. She had one arm around Peter's waist while the other held a strand of webbing, carrying them through a broad arc in the air.

"A little. But I haven't eaten dinner yet, so at least I won't throw up."

Gwen landed and set him down. "Then stop standing in high places!"

"But you wouldn't have heard me otherwise," Peter replied lightly. "Maybe you could leave me a phone number or something?"

"Hmph. That's a pretty terrible pickup line." Gwen turned away. "Maybe when I've got some free time."

"How about coming over to our place for dinner?" Peter offered. "You're welcome anytime."

"Some other time."

With that, Gwen swung away in style.

Peter breathed a sigh of relief. Gwen really had arrived in the nick of time.

"Oh, wait! I forgot to tell her Harley has the inhibitors!"

...

Oh my God! I'd actually said all that while holding Peter!

Gwen was practically bouncing with excitement. It felt incredible, like being a real superhero!

She'd saved one of her best friends, received his awestruck attention, and he'd had no idea that the person behind the mask was another of his friends. The whole mysterious-hero act had been wonderfully satisfying.

Of course, Gwen had no idea that Peter had known her secret from the very beginning.

Still, she'd have to celebrate later. There was a monster to deal with.

"Reload! Reload!"

The police had reacted quickly. They'd cordoned off the surrounding blocks and engaged the Lizard, only to be routed within minutes.

Handguns and rifles did absolutely nothing to it. Those weapons worked well enough against ordinary people, but against a monster like this they were no better than scrap metal. The officers would have been better off pulling back and letting SWAT handle it.

Actually, maybe not even SWAT would be enough. The Lizard was tougher than before. At this point, even a machine gun might not hurt it!

Just as the officers were evacuating civilians and retreating alongside them, Spider-Woman made her grand entrance.

One kick sent the rampaging reptile flying, and the crowd erupted in cheers.

"It's Spider-Woman! We're saved!"

"Get him, Spider-Woman!" Someone even pulled out a phone to take a picture. "Come on, give us a cool pose!"

"Okay, okay, but you people need to get out of here fir... Aaaah!"

Gwen had barely turned to answer when the Lizard whipped its tail around and launched her through the air.

"Oww!"

"Whoa..." A bystander looked at the roaring monster and pressed the camera shutter.

Gwen scrambled back to her feet, rubbing her aching head. "Man, I wish I had a tail that strong to use as a weapon."

The Lizard's tail was practically a perfect whip. The only drawback was that it had to twist its body to get enough rotational force behind a swing.

She'd have to find some way to neutralize that annoying weapon.