The Cucumber Chronicles 1 - Wrong Cucumber (Patreon)

We've been married for over five years. Very early on he started helping me with my small organic vegetable stand on the weekends. I don't even make that much money; it's just so I can share my homegrown produce with the community.

This particular Sunday was way too hot, and the market was virtually empty. The produce was withering, and Jim and I were bored out of our minds. I started rearranging the vegetables, just to pass the time.

I was leaning forward, arranging the cucumbers, when they rolled away from me. I managed to catch all but one, which rolled to the floor.

"Pass me the cucumber," I said to my husband while I stood bending over, struggling to arrange the ones still on the table.

I extended my hand back, and I received it. But it was the wrong cucumber. This one was warm and soft to the touch but hard and pulsating. I knew immediately what I had in my hand.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I said, turning around, but without letting go of his cock.

"Oh, calm down, it's just some harmless fun; no one is watching," he said and rocked his hips back and forth, sliding his cock in my hand.

"So I guess you want me to go under the table and blow you as you pretend nothing is going on?" While I spoke, I continued the motion, stroking him lightly, all while looking around, making sure no one would see.

"I'd love that," he said.

"It does sound more fun than rearranging vegetables," I said. Just then someone approached. He lowered his apron to hide his penis, but it still formed a tent, even while sitting down.

"Hi! This is one nice cucumber!" It was a bubbly girl. She handed me the fallen vegetable. She looked kind of young, probably early twenties. She had bright red hair with a bob cut. Her petite frame mismatched with her large chest.

"Yeah, it's homegrown, only a buck a piece. How many can I get you?" I replied. I noticed my husband smirking as his tent moved; he was rubbing it under the apron.

"Oh, no, I couldn't. I can tell you're enjoying it too much," she said and turned to see Jim, who had to stop rubbing his hard-on. "Maybe some other day. I'll leave you to it, for now." She walked away, swaying her bubble butt. She turned a couple of times to see us from the corner of her eye, just as I approached Jim and placed a hand over his tent. I saw a smirk form on her face, and then she was gone.

"See? You got her permission to enjoy my cu…" he started saying, but I interrupted.

"If you say that word one more time, I won't touch it for a month," I said, and he shut up, but his hand kept stroking.

"Give me your jacket," I demanded.

"What for?"

"So I won't scrape my knees with the rough floor under the table."

He smiled and handed me his jacket, which I promptly set on the floor.

I crawled under the table and thanked God for the extra long tablecloth. I positioned myself in front of him and tapped his feet. He opened his leg and dragged the chair closer to me, covering his lap with the cloth.

He pulled his apron to the side, and his cock was mine to enjoy. I knew it well. Its thick head and how it's tilted to the side. I knew how to make him cum fast. I wasn't planning it that day.

I swirled my tongue around his head, and he pushed himself towards me. I knew he was eager, but I wanted to make him last as long as I could.

I took his head into my mouth and pressed my lips against the border, bobbing up and down, forcing the border in and out of my mouth. His saltiness invaded my mouth. He was leaking already.

I pulled his cock out of my mouth, and I lifted it, exposing his balls to me. I licked them all over and sucked each one into my mouth. He jerked at the feeling but didn't stop me.

The heat under the table was getting too much, so I dropped my apron. I continued licking his balls while I jerked him slowly.

"Jim! Hi! Do you have tomatoes today?" A woman's voice asked over the table.

"No, not today, sorry," Jim replied. I kept jerking him slowly, and I licked the slit on the tip of his penis several times.

"Oh, that's too bad. So, where is Mandy today? Does she finally trust you with the business?" I finally recognized the voice; it was Miss Miriam. Our sexy but nosy neighbor. I decided to torture Jim a bit.

I took his whole cock into my mouth at once; it hit the back of my mouth, and he jerked, probably out of surprise. The heat kept rising, so I opened my blouse; my see-through bra was now visible.

"Yes! Actually… ummm… she just went to the restroom; she should be back in a few minutes if you want to say hi," Jim said. I blew him while he talked.

"Oh, yes, maybe I'll drop by later; I do have some juicy tea to share with her."

A few seconds later, Jim lifted the table cloth and was speechless at the scene. I was in my bra and pants, with his cock in my mouth, looking at him with my best puppy eyes.

"Go on, blow me," he said with a huge grin.

I took his cock out of my mouth and put a hand behind my back, unclasping my bra. I dropped it to the floor. Jim's jaw dropped as I resumed the blowjob.

"Hi!" A male's voice said, and Jim lowered the fabric, concealing me again. "Are the cucumbers good?" he asked.

I hummed an affirmative "mmhm!" that I hoped only Jim could hear and kept deep-throating him.

"Uh, yeah, they are fresh from today and yesterday. A buck a pop, how many should I bag for you?"

"Oh, yeah, I see what you mean; they are nice and firm. Give me these two. I like them large and thick," the guy said. I don't know if Jim picked up on it, but he was clearly flirting. "So, do you come here every week? I'm new in the neighborhood, and it's my first time coming to this charming little farmer's market."

While they talked, I managed to blow the tip of his cock while I caressed his balls. I could feel them tense on my hand as I sucked him harder.

"No, I mean, yes, my wife and I come here every week; we have our own organic produce…" he paused because I gave his shaft a hard squeeze. "But yeah, you can find us here every week."

"A wife, huh? Ok, I get the hint; it was nice meeting you…"

My tongue lapped his whole shaft, side to side and up and down, like a lollipop.

"Fuck… I mean, I'm Jim." I felt him move, and he pushed my head away from his cock as he sat up straight. "I'm sorry for not standing up, but my leg is cramping."

"No worries; if that happens a lot, come find me. I'm a physical therapist; I can help you with those cramps."

"That's great, sure. I will," Jim said.

Jim lifted the fabric over my head and saw me as I jerked him with his cock next to my face.

"He wants to help you with your cramps. You should let him, and I should watch," I said as I jerked him faster.

The tablecloth fell on my head again, and I heard our redheaded friend from before say, "Hi! I was hoping to see your… wife?"

"Yeah, Mandy is my wife; I'm Jim. What can I do for you?" 

"Nice to meet you, I'm Linda. I was just wondering if the, you know, cucumber from before was still available."

I sucked on his cock and pulled it out of my mouth, making a clear popping sound that I hoped she heard.

"Oh, that, uhm, she is using it right now," Jim said.

"Like right now? Right this instant?" She asked while I took his full length in, hitting my uvula and causing me to gag audibly.

"Yeah, she, uhm, she took it and is doing something," I kept taking him deep, gagging all the while. "Maybe a salad."

"Oh, really? And do you think she'd let me watch her prepare that salad?"

"I really don't think that's a good idea," he said, and I bit lightly on his cock. I know him; he never can stay unfazed by that.

"Ouch, really?" he asked, and I nodded with his cock still in my mouth. I lifted the tablecloth slightly and saw him make a hand gesture for her to come over.

Jim and Linda stared at me, while tears ran down my face and my mouth was full of my husband's cock. I waved my right hand, and she waved back with a shocked expression.

"Fuck, you guys are crazy. If you ever need help… like… running the stand or organizing things under the table, please let me know," she said. I licked Jim's cock, and they both stared at the show.

I took his cock out of my mouth to say, "You could help now." I scooted a bit to the side, trying to make room for her.

"Thanks, but I don't think we would both fit. I'm in a rush anyway, maybe next week?"

"It's a date," I said and went back to blowing Jim.

Suddenly he lowered the cloth and hid me again.

"Hi! I haven't seen you around. I'm Miss Miriam, nice to meet you…" I cursed at the return of my nosy neighbor.

"This is Linda. She's Mandy's friend," Jim said.

While they talked, I never stopped stimulating him.

"Her friend, huh? Nice to meet you, Linda. Anyway, where is Mandy?" Miriam asked.

"She is cleaning a cucumber that fell to the ground. She'll be back in a few minutes," Linda replied.

"Isn't that convenient? Ok, I won't distract you and… Mandy's friend. See you soon, Jim, Linda," she said.

Then, the fabric over my head shifted, and I saw a hand enter and grab my husband's cock, squeezing it. It was a girl's hand.

I focused on his head while Linda jerked the base of the shaft. I knew he wouldn't last long if I played my cards right.

My lips tightened around the top of his shaft and his head while Linda jerked him furiously. Just when I felt he was getting close, my phone rang. It was Miriam.

"Hello Miriam," I answered, trying to lick my husband's cock. "What can I do for you?"

"Mandy, your husband was alone in your stand with some young bimbo. I'm sure they were flirting. Do you want me to go back there and interrupt them? I could stay there until you return. It's the least a friend can do."

"Oh, no, that's Linda; she's a good friend of mine. She might start helping us run the stand. So we can have some weekends free to be dirty." I love making her uncomfortable. "So, if there's nothing else, I need to go back to dealing with this troublemaker of a cucumber."

We hung up, and I could hear Linda and Jim laughing. I went back to my husband's cock; Linda never moved her hand away, and we kept pleasuring him.

He lifted the cloth and saw me with pleading eyes; I knew what he wanted, and I nodded. My tongue licked faster his penis, and Linda jerked harder. He let out a grunt, but bit his lip.

Then, following Linda's hand motions, his cock spit stream after stream of warm, salty cum; most of it landed in my mouth, but some missed it. I tried licking it all in and swallowed, showing my empty mouth afterwards like a porn actress would. I tried keeping eye contact with both of them as I licked and sucked his cock clean.

After a few seconds contemplating the scene, the absurdity hit the three of us, and we laughed, happy with our little secret adventure.

I tried crawling out from under the table, but Jim stopped me. "Maybe you should get dressed first?"

I stopped and laughed again at my boldness and made myself decent as fast as I could. When I got up, I was a sweaty mess, with mascara running down my face, and my clothes were completely tangled. My bra stayed under the table for simplicity.

As soon as I was out, Miss Miriam came back.

"There you are, Mandy. Are you alright? You look like you just cried. And what happened to the cucumber you were washing?"

"Oh, I couldn't resist it and ate the whole thing. I just love eating them whole. And these are happy tears, since it was soooo good," I replied and saw Jim snickering from the corner of my eye.

Miriam gave me a skeptical gaze, but didn't pry any further.

"All right. Well, there was something I wanted to discuss with you, but seeing that you are so busy, I guess we can leave it for another day. See you all later." Miriam said in a condescending voice and she walked away. We all chuckled while she did.

"Oh, you have some… cucumber juice left here," Linda said, and ran a finger through the corner of my mouth, then fed it to me. I closed my eyes while I licked her finger clean.

"So, do I get to taste some of that next week?" Linda asked.

"Maybe, maybe we'll serve you a nice taco instead," I replied in the cheekiest tone I could muster.

"Oh, I love me some taco, so, maybe I'll bring my taco-eating… fuck it, I'll bring a vibrator," she said and we all laughed again.

"So, did you enjoy eating…" Jim said when Linda was gone, but he must've seen the look on my face because he stopped.

"I loved it, but now I need some serious attention. What do you say we pack up and move to our home where your cucumber can comfortably destroy my taco?"

He smiled and I could see his tent forming once again.