"A Pep Talk For a Hatchling" (Theme to Outer Wilds) (Patreon)

Hey everybody!Been a busy couple weeks for all of us at the Dr. Samuel Bultch, D.D.S. Memorial Foundation! We in the archives are thrilled to present one of the good doctor's few forays into the world of video games: his (ultimately cut) lyrics for the main theme for Outer Wilds. While he didn't consider himself a gamer (his journals indicate that he tried the original arcade cabinet for Q*bert in the mid-80's but quickly abandoned the project after finding Q*bert "way too sexy") he was very proud of his lyric for this "space floaty-floaty" game and its inevitable removal from the final project made him swear he would never write lyrics for a video game again. Unless, as he specified in his journals, the developers would "send me that arcade cabinet, you know the one, with little sex goblin trapped inside." We at the archive believe this to be a reference to the aforementioned Q*bert, but, if we're being honest with ourselves, "little sex goblin" could refer to 99% of video game protagonists. Some questions, we feel, best remain unanswered. Enjoy!-CV"A Pep Talk for a Hatchling"Music by Andrew PrahlowLyrics by Dr. Samuel Bultch, D.D.S.Shale:(Spoken)Well, hello there, little hatchling!Happy Launch Day to you and-Oh!You look nervous!There’s nothing to be nervous aboutYou’re simply going to climb into that wooden boxAnd launch yourself into the depths of space!Ohhhh no, now they’re cryingOh, darn it, Shale, you’ve done it again!What would Feldspar say?OH!(Sung)HEY THERE FRIENDI SEE YOU LOOKIN’ TOWARDS THE SKYPACK YOUR BAGS!JUST GRAB YOUR MALLOWS AND LET’S FLY TOSOMEWHERE FARTHE FURTHEST REACHES OF THE STARSKEEP YOUR WITSAMONGST THE MADLY SPINNING PLANETSDON’T LOOK BACKIT’S THRUSTERS LAUNCHED, FULL-SPEED AHEAD YOU’VE A KNACKAT COMING BACK FROM BEING DEAD SOSHALL WE GOTO LEARN THE THINGS THAT WE DON’T KNOW?FIND WHAT’S TRUE!THE OUTER WILDS WAIT FOR YOU!

WE WILL BE EXPLORERS LIKE OUR FOREBEARERS BEFORE USADVENTURE WILL RESTORE USAND WILL MAKE US GREAT!AND IF YOUR SHIP IS SPINNINGAS THE ASH TWIN KEEPS ON TWINNINGAT LEAST IT’S A BEGINNINGAND IT’S NOT TOO LATE!HOP ON IN!THIS TRUSTY SPACESHIP’S BUILT FOR TWOLET’S BEGIN!THE OUTER WILDS BECKON YOU.

(Spoken)

You’ll see, little hatchlingWhen you’re floating out there in the wildsThen you’ll seeThat there’s nothing to fear.You’ve got all the time in the world.

(Sung)

THIS TRUSTY SPACESHIP’S BUILT FOR TWO...

(Spoken)

But if you see an Anglerfish.Just-just run.Just like fucking RUN.

(Sung)

THE OUTER WILDS BECKON YOU.

(Spoken)

Now.Get in the spaceship, hatchling.