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180 - Do Coaches Pray for Electric Sheep?: Average Joe (2024) (Patreon)

Published:
2025-03-12 06:10:01
Edited:
2025-04-22 13:21:11
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

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Content

The lads take a knee and offer their football up to the Lord as they cover the 2024 Coach Joseph Kennedy biopic: Average Joe. Topics include the return of Harold Cronk, the Deadpoolification of Christian movies, and what it means to build a social movement around one of the most annoying narcissists alive.

Media Referenced in this Episode:

Average Joe. Dir. Harold Cronk. 2024.

TWOAPW theme by Brendan Dalton: Patreon // brendan-dalton.com // brendandalton.bandcamp.com

Interstitial: “Harold Cronk Presents: A Revival of His Much-Acclaimed Production of The Vagina Monologues at the Ivy Substation in Culver City, California” // Written by A.J. Ditty // Featuring Brian Alford as “Announcer Brian” and A.J. Ditty as “Harold Cronk”

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Comments

Charli Christine Marker

In 2016, after seeing Donnie Darko remake God's Not Dead 2 in theaters (where, when fellow Chicagoan Lee Strobel showed up on-screen, I yelled in this theater of Christian families "THAT FUCKER WAS AT MY HOUSE!"), I became so Cronk-pilled that I picked up his 2011 film Jerusalem Countdown on DVD hoping to discover Harold Cronk auteurism. Nearly a decade later, I never got around to watching it, and one of my greatest regrets was not studying his auteurist stamp outside the franchise that popularized him when I had the chance to make it my own.

I Love Brian Alford's Bible Corner

I had a similar icy experience in undergrad here in the mountains of NC. The town was normally not caught off guard by winter weather but that night was wild. Eventually the bus driver just parked on the side of the road and told us it might be better if we went on foot. Arrived at the tiny duplex where I lived only to discover the baseboard heating wasn't working. So many chances for a chilly death there in 2006. But alas, still here.

Joseph Oswald

I'm gonna hold you to the Rucky Charms promise AJ. Even if you forget, I won't.

BarFly

Watching this movie for the moment that Joe Kennedy gets exploded over occupied Europe.

Zipzapzop

This is the lowest grade of uncle cinema and besmirches the majority of uncle movies like wizards (1977) or the evil dead trilogy

Carter Kriss

these evangelical movies are all infuriating but this one is uniquely so. everything surrounding this god damn case makes me fucking furious

Joseph E.

The pg rating might have something to do with the war scenes.

Donald

The interstitial on this one might be the worst yet(complimentary)

Gorbant

Josh, I hope you also whipped out these other key convo starters while you were skiing: a) Did you know I went to Yale? b) Have you ever heard of Ong's Hat? and c) My friend knows Aaron Sorkin. Isn't that neat?

Propagandalf

How dare you come back from that break like nothing traumatizing just happened.

Tyler Jay

The mention of the actors gang, a theater I drive past almost weekly, made me scream in my car

Ronin Fredricson

You can get like a polo shirt but instead of the guy on the horse it's the shape of a nude man attacking a camel

Hugh Kearney

RE: Marine Todd I was struck by the guys mentioning all the USMC gear that Kennedy wears in the movie. Well, let me tell you about former Marines, given that I am one (1990-94). Young Marines bitch. Like, all the time. Every active duty Marine hates the Corps at least some of the time. However, I noticed a funny thing had happened after I reconnected with some of my former Jarhead friends after we reconnected on social media a couple of decades after we got out. Several of them had become utter Marine stans. It was weird. Like, the ones who hated the Corps the most had the most gear. Then I figured it out. They were romanticizing their youth, when all was possible, and they had yet to assume their day to day, middle-aged lives. The saddest were the ones who had obviously peaked there, like they were Al Bundy relieving his four touchdown game in the state championship. Don't get me wrong, I derived a lot of benefits from my service. However, I have accomplished so much more outside that brief, youthful four year window. Ultimately, it was just a job. Btw, Marines have drill instructors, not drill sergeants. I hate being pedantic, but that is nails on a chalkboard to any Marine, regardless of religion or politics.

Vesperus

Fun fact: This movie is so popular that it doesn't even show up on Harold Cronk's Wikipedia page.

shadowcb

Just curious, is the kneeling thing also their attempt to claim that from people who kneeled to protest during the national anthem?

I Love Brian Alford's Bible Corner

I live next to Fort Liberty (Bragg?) and yes, it's so so that. Of course, we all make meaning in retrospect or we'll go crazy. I've done it with my very very very brief time in the Army by becoming a pacifist but I'll never understand idealizing any experience from youth. As I often tell people who claim the time of their youth was the peak of culture: "you don't miss the 90s, you miss being young."

I Love Brian Alford's Bible Corner

Oh guys. My home state of NC has essentially made it possible for private schools to receive as much public funding as they want. The "vouchers" now have zero limitations. Of course, private schools here are legally allowed to discriminate in employment, are not required to conduct background checks, can beat the shit out of children, etc. It's great. I love it. 💀

The Worst of All Possible Worlds

It's certainly a part of the whole culture war dialectic going on. For Kennedy himself, he'd been doing the prayer thing for many years before that. His dust-up happened in 2015, a year before Kaepernick started kneeling for the anthem

Jimmy McMillan

According to right wing bumper stickers they stand for the flag and kneel at the cross. As long as the national anthem isn't playing, kneeling in prayer is A-OK

I Love Brian Alford's Bible Corner

I had to skip all the parts where you played audio from the movie. I just couldn't stand the rage welling up inside me.

Paula Sulpice

The first and only podcast to get bitched by its boo

Leo Zachary Dickenson

Someone should know that your episode descriptions hook me before I hit play every time

Adi

that closing prayer triggered my fight or flight like nothing else

Subpar-Allstar

I have a confession to make. I grew up in the Duck Dynasty/Commander church. I know Willey Robertson personally. He, his son and his In laws live in my neighborhood. (I'm in the poorer half). But the Robertsons know me personally. Listening to you guys talking about how fake they are I have been saying that to anyone who will listen. Willy born Jesse is very smart. But fake as fuck. Phil the dad is Redneck as fuck he lived in a double wide on the Ouachita River that they added on to like 5 times. It was nice but Redneck. Surrounded by hound dogs pickups. His kids grew up rich and wear the white trash ethos as a rouse.

Subpar-Allstar

Bro, I hated most days in the Army (07-18) but days on the MK19, driving an M1A1, dangling legs out of a Chinook, watching the sun cone up over the Ziggurat of Ur (Iraq) going through the Kiber pass (Afghanistan) gave ma a warm and fuzzy. I feel like it was easier. I was told what to do and when to do it. I see so many get out and not have a guide. I have my 3rd ID sticker on my car mainly because the cops don't fuck with me.