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208 - Bar Rescue (feat. Slowpuke) (Patreon)

Published:
2025-09-24 06:00:08
Edited:
2025-09-24 17:30:21
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

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Content

Slowpuke (@SlowpukeLIVE) and the lads stake out a bar and scream in the faces of undiagnosed alcoholics as we cover Jon Taffer’s hit reality-television show: Bar Rescue. Topics include Taffer’s self-aggrandized past, the ethics of robot performers, and what it means to watch a man transform a bar from terrible to an entirely different kind of terrible.

Slowpuke: Twitch // Bluesky // Instagram

Media Referenced in this Episode:

Bar Rescue

S02E01: “Yo-Ho-Ho and a Bottle of Dumb”

S03E11: “Don’t Mess with Taffer’s Wife”

S02E22: “Punch-Drunk and Trailer-Trashed”

S04E25: “Sticky Situation”

Bar 702 (Sand Dollar) From Bar Rescue Has Been Sold by Matt. Barrescueupdates.com. June 22nd, 2014.

Breaking News - Spike TV Picks Up New Original Series, "Bar Rescue" and "Repo Games" | TheFutonCritic.com. January 1st, 2011.

Council Bluffs police investigating shooting at O'Face Bar by KMTV News. 3 News Now. February 27th, 2021.

Domestic Violence Case Dismissed by Staff Consortium. The Virgin Islands Consortium. March 19th, 2021.

How "Bar Rescue" host Jon Taffer helped changed the way we watch the NFL by Aaron Torres. Fox Sports. January 7th, 2014.

jon taffer spaceship robot story

Second arrest made in connection to weekend shooting outside Council Bluffs bar by First Alert 6 Staff. First Alert 6. March 25th, 2025.

Wilkes Assault Lawsuit

TWOAPW theme by Brendan Dalton: Patreon // brendan-dalton.com // brendandalton.bandcamp.com

Interstitial: “Bar Rescue Jr.” // Written by A.J. Ditty // Feat. Josh Boerman as “Aggressive Narrator”, Slowpuke as “Mrs. Cunningham/Molly Cunningham”, and A.J. Ditty as “Jon Taffer/Customer”

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Comments

J

If I had a psychotic break and decided to start a themed bar/restaurant, I'd probably end up with 40 different kinds of pepper and mushroom I had to go to Wikipedia to find out about

J

Just found out there were different species of black pepper that lost popularity in Europe after Silk Road trade slowed, and I'm fixated

P.A.L.

"Talk normal" wow, did not know those two words could cause a near heart attack level of anxiety to hear. But then again it's been a long time since someone has said that to me so that's like one of those bombs they find decades later underground I guess. Also totally get where Josh is coming from on the "I must actively think about who I am to these people while socializing because this doesn't come naturally" thing

NowhereMan661

Jesus Christ, reality TV is so stressful and hostile, how do you enjoy this slop?

I Love Brian Alford's Bible Corner

Many many episodes ago Josh mentioned the importance of remembrance in relation to the pandemic. As a college instructor, I was like, "Good idea!" So, I proposed to the college that I conduct a small archival project: student and faculty submissions plus artifacts from that time. The admin lost their shit, ghosting me and asking my department chair what I was "up to." I kept submitting proposals and getting no answer. Finally, I told my department chair that someone needed to tell me "no" or I wouldn't stop. She didn't threaten me, per se, but essentially communicated that I should shelve it for the sake of my family. 🫠 These times is wild. Don't tell my employer I wrote this. I'm in a "right to work" state.

Corey Bushle

First newgrounds, then Bar rescue? Bangers

Corey Bushle

On the interview where the person said”the people who buy the hotels, don’t hate them” I think it’s simpler than you guys were making it. They were just making the usual conservative point that, “don’t hate the people who own businesses and make the money, because they’re the job creators.” His syntax was just weird

NowhereMan661

Jon Taffer is such a vicious asshole. A capitalist conformist bully.

Noah

Taffer 'rescued' a bar near my house and decided a quiet family neighborhood in Portland needed a motorcycle/racing themed bar that didn't serve local beers in Portland of all places. It failed within a month.

A Shade In Shades

The clip of Jon Taffer making a "Manhattan" on the Meredith Vieira Show is pure psychic damage for people into cocktails. I'm kind of amazed he isn't in the current US government in some form.

Bentivegitantus

If you really want to blow your mind, try finding somewhere that sells fresh, never-dried green peppercorns. You can also get them pickled as a fun condiment. Sanshō are also very good dried or fresh, but they technically aren't Piperaceae.

Bentivegitantus

This episode unlocked memories of watching Tabetha Takes Over with friends in grad school. It's the usual schlocky reality show crap, but she knew her stuff like Ramsay and they found some uniquely horrible salons to "fix". I wonder if it's available to stream now...

J

My dream is to see the pantheon of fried chicken joints to expand for all the weird shit. Sichuan chicken with chilis for instance, but also whatever spice mixes have touched western lips for centuries

Britton

Using the term "butt funnel" in the same bar as the porno is extremely hilarious and unfortunate.

Evan Hawkins

Oh shit. I was 86d from Park 77 back in 2017 for being too loud. Idk if it was Park 77 or The Lister, which are literally just the same bar. Got kicked out cos all us Apprentices would yell too loud and the owner said we "Wrecked the chill vibe."

Donald

Really enjoying the eclectic mix of episodes lately

QuestionofHanTyumi

Boy oh boy did the "talk normal" bit make me instantly angry

An impromptu concert from Bosco Hogan

The O Face bar is the only episode I've seen of this. It's so much like every rural town bar I worked in when I was in my 20s. Like I worked at this bar where the owner got into meth, his wife left him, he had a kid with one of the waitstaff but that kid might not have been his. He sold all the equipment for ten grand, took that money to Vegas to win big on poker and pay all the back taxes, the payroll that kept bouncing. Naturally, he lost all the money in a few minutes in Vegas and lost the bar.

Dakota Lindsey

Every time 'The Noise' played my dog jerked his head up and looked around confused lol

Various Ailments

Speaking of SpikeTV, you guys really should do Dealiest Warrior some time

Kenzie Leigh

Being able to understand that my work persona is a character I play in an elaborate role-playing improv game is one of the things that clued me in to the fact that I was autistic. People will be like "you can't be autistic you have such great social skills" until you explain to them how those social skills came from intense character work and cannot be replicated outside of specific situations. I feel for this one-eyed pirate man ♥️

Kyle Clark

Imagine a world where Donald Trump is doing this instead of running the free world into the ground.

Iain Standing

Silver Spring is hands down one of the worst towns in the world, I hated commuting there, I hated trying to find lunch there, the only good thing was getting to take the red line and staying on a little bit longer to go to the cool stations before heading back to the hell pit

John Benfield

Being a pro wrestling fan has helped me enjoy reality TV more, because I recognize that 95% of reality TV is also kayfabe. I do prefer wrestling, though, because the marks are the ones in the audience.

Elsie Hupp

A pirate bar I remember being actually good is Redwood Los Angeles, which has been there for decades upon decades at this point: https://maps.app.goo.gl/SUrdPbhwFmrLfJGC8 (The main memory I have of the place is spilling a Blue Hawaii on my pants and my iPhone 3G freaking out about getting wet.)

Elsie Hupp

To be fair as I understand it running hotels is one of the few things Donald Trump is apparently actually good at. Not casinos, though. Just hotels!

YOU

So when the episode started, and I heard that sound, I realized, oh they’re gonna use it a lot this ep. I thought, maybe 14 times. As the episode progressed I realized, idk that’s pretty high. I think we far exceeded that. I lost count.

Desmond Gonzalez

I'm sorry but John "The Most Has a Brazzers Sub Man Alive" Taffer screaming about how disgusting porn is is insane 🤣

Annabelle

There’s a successful pirate bar in my city. But tbf it’s just a normal bar with fun decor and naming for the drinks. Getting drinks after work and being in like a treasure grotto themed booth is just a good vibe

Jimmy McMillan

You aught to run this one again! I love this episode. Revisiting bar rescue in the future or doing Kitchen nightmares, would be awesome

Dannyflanny

You guys missed (maybe intentionally) an important subset of the show: the strip club episodes, which might be the most spike tv episodes of a spike tv show ever made

Nathan Woods

One thing y'all kinda glossed over (likely on purpose) is how common the insane degrees of alcoholism really are in the bar world. Particularly that one "shot for shot" girl that just gets immediately hired back, and nobody has a real answer for why. If you've been in the right dive bars at the wrong time of day, you've met dozens of her. I've seen bars survive what most businesses couldn't about 6 times over, all because of the constant patronage of like maybe 6 people max. And this smear of a human points a camera in their face and tells them to be their worst possible selves.

Elizabeth Power

Honestly, if I went to a restaurant or a bar and the guy serving me said “good evening and welcome , ladies” like that I would think it was very classy. It doesn’t seem weird or overly pirate-y to me. Telling anyone to “talk normal” is just a recipe to make them feel awkward about themselves .

BOYSAREBACKIN.TOWN

Brian's Taffer is a terrible Taffer but an incredible that one teacher on Daria

Desmond Gonzalez

I think another way the pirate bar would have worked is if they'd made the story of the place "We're pirates who got tired of sea and decided there was more money if running a bar". From the clips it sounds like it's sillier than what they're going for, but leaning into the absurdity of a pirate bar in a office park feels like a no-brainer.

Iain Standing

Relistening after watching all of Bar Rescue and the beeping in the background is in so many episodes.

Chacap

After the DC Taffer's Tavern closed, a worker posted a sign on the window that said it wasn't closed because of crime. The food just sucked.

Red Ash VA

Who the fuck is Gary?…. Ahhh number 21? 🤣

Tay

"and people who buy the hotels, don't hate them. They take the risks and create the jobs." I might not have gotten the exact wording but he's saying not to hate the people who own the businesses

Tay

I remember watching an episode of bar rescue in a hotel with my mom and there's a part where they give the cook an apron with his name and the word COOK embroidered on it and he goes "this is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me" and looks genuine and we both had the same thought that this was the most depressing thing we'd ever seen