Deep thoughts with Jess (Patreon)

If you are not interested please feel free to ignore this it’s just my rambles,

As I said before I don’t really have anyone to talk to about these thoughts because what I do for a living is a bit unique but I feel like I had a bit of a light bulb moment about why my burn out as dragged on so long.

I think that the seed of all of this was that I stopped drawing for myself and I was drawing for “you guys” which was also incorrect. Instead of drawing what I enjoyed which was also what you enjoyed since, I’m guessing, that’s why you followed my page in the first place. I started doing “what I thought people wanted” and could never find satisfaction in it and the feeling of disappointing everyone kept growing. Then since I was already insecure about what I was doing, I started comparing my art to so many other artists and feeling more and more terrible about it everyday. I was like “I can’t post this it’s ugly/cringe/boring they are going to hate it” and I was the one taking the joy out of my own process and did less and less in fear of imaginary criticism. Most of it was fear of failure that still happened, but due to my own inaction. At some point I decided that this wasn’t supposed to be fun all the time and I think that was one of my biggest mistakes

Again, I am so very grateful that you guys tolerate me and sorry about my little paragraph, but things are looking brighter though.