Slime 10 (Patreon)

There were concerning happenings by the southernmost part of our fair forest. Rumours of a large force making a slow but persistent trek north had come with the goblins that came from the lower southern mountains—it was a week’s journey on foot. 

They said the recent upheaval in the forest was caused by them, as they preyed and hunted and corrupted all that they touched or trampled.

It was an army of orcs—a well-armed force at that—with numbers that swallowed the plains and expanded into the horizon. That was a bit funny to me, because even as I asked for the estimate of numbers, I had been well aware of the pre-evolved goblins’ inability to employ arithmetics.

Still, it was a thrill to hear them come up with words to describe such vastness or just anything past ten.

So, it was an army. It was big and strong. It was also slow, so I was unconcerned by them for the moment. What I was interested in was world lore, and Lilina had a great deal of it, especially relating to foreign nations and territories.

As such, I had called for the woman to educate me on this.

“…you’ve more knowledge about foreign affairs than any, Lilina,” I had told her over tea in the morning that marked her third week in joining our little—I suppose I couldn’t call it that anymore seeing as we were nine thousand strong—community. “I was hoping that you might enlighten me on a few things.”

The woman actually gave me a bow at that, her normally controlled expression cracking into a wide and bright smile. I was not quite sure what I had actually surrendered to these female hobgoblins for them to be so eager to accommodate my worries or just ever seek my company.

Case in point, of all the ministers who had sought my aid, Lilina was the most common. She came for the most idle things—things I suspected she’d long handled—and stayed for hours just helping me with my own affairs and with the kids.

She also had a very sour relationship with Hana and Haruna who had become my unofficial maids and aides.

I had initially thought it was attraction or animalistic instincts to be with a stronger male, but I didn’t think that was the case. Sure, I was certainly attractive, that was undeniable, but the vibes I was getting from the girls and women weren’t primarily sexual; it was more… innocent, almost motherly.

I was starting to think that my infancy—for I was indeed an infant—was leaking out somehow. Unfortunately, that wasn’t something I could stop or even sense. I was also sure that the girls had no clue of their obsessive attachment.

But then, I didn’t mind it. More importantly, I was certain that, divorced from their undefined attachment, they actually did have a separate enjoyment of my presence. I was just that entertaining and charming.

Leaving those musings, I focused on the present.

“I’d be most honoured to be of aid, my lord,” Lilina said, before taking a seat under my permission. “What knowledge are you most curious of?”

I thought of it a bit, biting into the pastry birthed by the hands of our very own chefs and cooks. Things were going swiftly but beautifully in our community. The building was done, and the furniture industry was starting to catch up to schedule. Beds, couches, chairs, wardrobes, sinks, ceramic furniture, ceilings, curtains, and more were being built at a frightening rate.

That was mainly because of my allowance of profession-class skills being very much accessible under Gift Bag. I decided that allowing access to those, and also having the certainty of eternity, would not be so… harmful.

Gift Bag was just a more convenient and reliable substitute for dedicated mundane tools. And yes, it was a whole inventory of my skills, miracles, and spells—mainly spells—accessible by those who bore my blessing.

Of course, it wasn’t just that all who had my blessing had access to the entirety of my Gift Bag—I needed a more sacrosanct name for that skill. It was regulated to the extreme. Example, a plumber would, without actually actively wanting, just acquire Karmic Inspiration to aid them in their work more efficiently. Though that miracle would only last until the job was done.

What he wouldn’t receive was Law Manipulation or All of Creation just because they prayed for it—yeah, I wasn’t really getting rid of that cult nonsense happening around by implementing this little system of mine. But, in my defence, Smite came to me with this host of awesome skills, and I wasn’t able to refuse it.

Anyway, Gift Bag was regulated and capable of almost everything, especially since I integrated my Mystic Magicinto it, and that little thing was more broken than Aspectual Magic—it wasn’t even close.

I mean, I had a complete recreation of The One Who Stands Above All made, along with a plethora of stupidly broken abilities just awaiting inheritance from my Hobgoblin species.

But I digress.

“I’d like to know about the nations south of us—the rulers, the people, the specialities, the areas, and your theories about them on things you’ve yet to acquire certainty in,” I told her, and I saw her eyes widen a bit before they turned serious.

She was a reliable sort, this minister.

“Of course, Lord Rimuru.” She seemed to enter into thought for a second before her eyes brightened. “I suppose I should start with the orcs who seem intent on subjugating Jura. They hail from the south, as already stated, just a bit out of the forest, and neighboured by the kingdoms of two demon lords, which is why they didn’t invade far south.”

I was piqued by that little snippet of information—demon lords. I asked the woman about them before we dove deeper into Orcish governance.

“Oh, that would be demon lord Frey, who rules Fulbrosia, a kingdom of harpies. They are a queer lot, my lord, divorced from the laws of traditional mating. Additionally, their whole species is largely female—I don’t believe a male was ever seen among them. They live on the peaks of mountains, forbidding those incapable of flight from residing in their queendom.”

That was very interesting, parthenogenesis. Still, I felt pity for them, for although I was not acquainted with the act, I was quite certain that sex was top five best things in existence. I was also certain that I too, under the personage of my slime form, was parthenogenetic…

Bye bye, sexy slimes, I supposed. It turned out I was the sexy slime I was looking for all along. 

…Still, even without the mating, I was intrigued by this nation. Though, we could put a pause on that—I had Lilina for the entire day. Additionally, I had helped her with founding soccer, drinking games, and pool. We were thinking to add regional teams once we grew big enough.

We were also thinking of celebrations, introducing culture, and contests. I was thinking a theme park and theatre.

The point was, Lilina owed me much and more of her time than I was actually asking from her. Not that she was opposed to this closeness.

“And the other nation?”

She clapped her hands happily; I was mannered enough to ignore what that did to her chest. Those two things were attention magnets.

“That would be Eurazania, my lord. It’s ruled by the Demon Lord Carrion, of the beast kin. They are an agricultural nation, and have been said to have a whole sea of farms and orchards and vineyards that stretch for days on end. Their crops are of exceptional quality—in our days of foraging, we found a human caravan abandoned or fallen to a monster attack. There, we found some of the goods hailed from that kingdom.”

I chuckled a bit as Lilina turned a bit dazed upon that memory. She really seemed to have enjoyed those crops.

“That good, were they?” I asked with a smile.

She flushed a bit, some pink touching her cheeks before she bowed her head in embarrassment and apology. She was rather adorable.

“You have to understand, my lord. That had been my first time being introduced to such rich and enjoyable flavours.” She looked at her tea, a soft smile gracing her face. “Now such things have become so common to me, and I do think at times that I have been trapped in a dream most wonderful.”

That… touched my soul. I was ever happy to know that my efforts had brought such excitement and contentment in the lives of these folks of green and innocence.

I calmed myself, nestling the gladness the woman had allowed me in my heart. I’d revisit this moment in days beyond tomorrow to bask in the emotions and remind me of why I had pursued this path.

“I’m gladdened by your words, Lilina, and I do hope you’ll enjoy even more wonders in days ahead.” Though we have come far in the culinary arts, we’ve still a ways to go from the true wonders of modern cuisine. “Please continue.”

She did after calming herself.

“Though let me not paint the beast kingdom wholly pleasant, for it does have in it some darkness. It is rumoured that it deals in slaves. Its abundant farms are catered for by unwilling servants under the threat of punishment and death.”

And there it was, the grimness underneath the surface. However, I wasn’t as surprised, even though my heart was soured and vengeful. It was unfortunate for this Carrion that his kingdom practiced slavery, for that little act made him a foe that mustn’t be suffered to live.

I let out a sigh, and my minister allowed that brief moment of calming. I bade her to indulge in the pastries as I thought over matters. In a way, I shouldn’t be surprised; the man was a demon lord, and such a title could not be held by those who were of kindness and compassion.

I was sure there was amusement in my reaction, yet it was an amusement that was removed from my humours. Still, I felt as though I needed to give fair warning to this Carrion to cease this kind of villainy before I visited erasure upon him and his.

To think catgirls—all animal-esque humans were catgirls regardless of gender—would this evil? 

Well, I should probably extend that warning to this Frey as well, if she was engaged in this most vile of practices.

I felt in my soul an echo of laughter, and it made me wonder if my brother was spectating my feelings and thoughts at this very moment. He probably was, though I only just feel the faintest traces of interest.

He wasn’t too interested, it seemed.

Veldora was taken by the enjoyment of my media-filled thoughts, and until I felt he was satisfied with their enjoyment or just desiring to exit, I would not be unleashing him.

Besides, I didn’t believe he would much enjoy these early stages of our community. I’d need more fancies to hold his attention and heart. I owed him that enjoyment for all he’d done for me.

After I had calmed and was in a better mood once more, I offered Lilina an apology for my discourtesy. “I hope that reaction doesn’t color me badly in your eyes, Lilina,” I said in a bit of mirth, for such a possibility was definitely impossible to the woman.

“Lord Rimuru has ever been a being of a kind heart,” she said instead, and her eyes betrayed her unfathomable belief in those words. “To not think that you’d have such a strong reaction to such things would have been unfitting of me.”

Again, I was touched, even knowing that her words would have been honest and sincere even if I had displayed joy or indifference. It was such a pleasure to the soul to have such devoted loyalty. I was also impressed that my package on right and wrong didn’t make a dent in the hobgoblins’ individualities.

Or maybe I was the only one who was divorced from any sort of judgment—that wouldn’t surprise me. But again, I was touched. And in that good mood, I did pat the woman on the head. I liked doing that.

The kids would have cried in jealousy had they seen me do this to anyone other than themselves. I couldn’t wait for those little monsters to grow up some. Selfishness didn’t suit them one bit. But maybe I should be more sparing in my treatment of them…

I thought on it a bit longer than a breath.

…maybe.

I was certainly not going to follow through, but I ever liked acting like the discipline I was deciding to instill in the annoying creatures wasn’t just fluff and cheer.

Lilina, even in her fluster, did continue to tell of the nations until we came back to the orcs ruining things down south. “…Orbic has long been in decline, my lord. Its lands are more or less barren.”

I needed to remind myself that the natives were uninspired and thus, pitiful. This was why Gift Bag was such a wonderful creation. I could just be the inspiration that was missing for everyone.

“Though, it’s quite rude for them to favor an invasion over diplomacy.” I was a bit sour at that. Jura had many lands to spare. “All they had managed to accomplish by their little act was make the forest less safe for everyone.”

See, the terrains of this forest were very treacherous and awkward to traverse on foot or even fly. So the nearest places did end up being far, like the funny kijin tribe—turns out the oni were kijin—that was east of the sealed cave where, rather than a day away, they were a week and a half away. Between us was a range of mountains that cut them off from our side of the map.

It was very difficult to trek the mountains to save time because they were more cliff-y than just inclined. Additionally, the monsters in those mountains were strong and hostile as hell. Not to mention the wyverns that resided there—vicious little demi-dragons.

Because of that, traveling there meant taking some very complicated routes that allowed for a set amount of baggage. It was funny and annoying. This was the same for most places in Jura; routes were limited, thus when a disturbance like this happened, traversal became unsafe.

Point was, hunting and foraging were disturbed, so the wildlife was acting… hostile and aggressive. Colonies of very powerful and destructive creatures were migrating and becoming a threat to all that got in their way; the most notable lot were the giant ants, who were just so ungodly terrifying and endless.

We had already exterminated about a dozen or so colonies—we kind of just turned them into a food source and purposed their carapaces. Good seafood; I enjoyed the taste a lot more than actual seafood.

But again, the ecosystem was not good.

So after Lilina had regaled me with the issues in Orbic, I wanted her idea on what to do with the orcs.

“…I believe the powers of this forest should unite against this threat and deal with it without Lord Rimuru’s mercy,” she said while clutching my hand pleadingly. “We have to be able to at least protect ourselves from certain situations instead of expecting you to handle it all for us.”

I was a bit surprised by that, because, well, I could just end that whole business in an hour or so.

But Lilina was saying the wisdom I had been wanting the hobgoblins to learn—self-sufficiency and independence. I didn’t want to be their answer to everything, even if that was exactly what I was doing.

But again, I was gladdened that they were not taking advantage of that. Plus, I was to allow some autonomy in the ways of global engagement.

“I see,” I said, my face relaxing as the weight of such things was discarded. “Then we shall hold a meeting to discuss what needs to be done before sending envoys to the neighboring foreign settlements.”

I wanted to meet the kijin and lizardmen. We also had some treants and dryads I was curious of.

Lilina and I continued talking, as it was our wont. Unfortunately, it was seeming as though my prime minister wasn’t winning her heart any time soon. That was unfortunate. I also learned that the woman wanted a more distinct cultural identity in our society.

I was so uncomfortable with taking from Veldora’s identity for inspiration for that culture, but I was left with no choice. We were about to be a very tempest-esque society.

No worship though; I was still not personally sanctioning that little nonsense even if my new Unique Skill, Divine, was kind of betraying my godly shenanigans.

But in my defence, Smite was a very nice ability—it was actually what I had wanted with my Black Lightning for the longest time now. I used it a lot when training Rigur and co—mostly on Gobta and Itachi.

Those two were more troublesome and too free-spirited.