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Here's the first full chapter of Chiaroscuro! Unlike Tenebrism, this book is going to follow the original draft plot more closely, but it's going to be cleaned up and tightened up and a few things will get moved around or removed or added, but the thing that's going to change the most is how Keyd and Alan's relationship goes (it's not going to be a LOT slower, but it will be more appropriately paced for them).Also, there are some people who's pledges haven't gone through for April and haven't responded to any messages I've sent (if you've responded, then that's fine and you're good!) so please, check your email (maybe spam filters??) or check your messages here on the site. I'll give anyone whose pledge hasn't gone through until the 15th and then I'm going to remove you as a Patron. It's not fair to allow you to see things for free that other people are donating for. And everybody knows I hate having to contact people about this, so I'm /really/ sorry to have to keep bringing this up. If you can't donate anymore, that's fine, but please let me know.

Files

Chiaroscuro I

Chiaroscuro I. I shifted against the hard metal edge of the open patio door, scanning the chilly colorless sky for any sign of winged armored aliens. I was definitely hoping to see black wings right now, not white ones.

Comments

lonealien

This is a very minor detail, but reading this made me realize that i've been mispronouncing Ociir's name wrong in my head this whole entire time (Rysa's too now that I think about it). It's a good chapter, although i'm cringing at how Alan is so in the dark about everything. Poor guy

Teromain

/I/ pronounce their names wrong in my head too, haha. It's always Ree-sa and O-seer even though it's never how I intended their names to be pronounced and I feel bad that I internally get my own characters names wrong. It's just English spelling rules ingrained in me. This is the book where Alan gets hit with a new revelation about every five minutes; I feel pretty bad for him too~

PeridotandPearl

I'm so ready for Alan to find out everything and what's actually going on! This is my first time reading your stories, so I also have no idea what the heck all this is, but I have been guessing. Can't wait for more! Loving this second book already!

Teromain

He's going to find out a lot in this book, very quickly! I hope you enjoy finding out what's happening along with him, haha :)

Potatoe

I'm pretty sure Ociir didn't show up at this point in the original, did he? I was expecting Alan to bump into Keyd's dad since that's what I remember happening at around this point in the old version. It confused me when it was a blond dude dressed in gold and white.

Teromain

Actually, it was Ociir who showed up first in the draft too! I think Keyd's dad showing up is maybe more memorable, since I actually thought he showed up first too until I went to work on the rewrites. They do show up within a few chapters of each other though