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Milestone Goal Story #2 (Patreon)

Published:
2016-07-11 06:24:38
Edited:
2024-06-06 04:11:59
Imported:
2026-10
Tags:

Content

Milestone Goal Story #2

NOTE (June 5, 2024): This content has been TEMPORARILY removed due to Google's unethical AI scraping. The content will be moving to cryptpad hosting, as soon as possible.

All right, here's a story about Keyd and Alan's Clarylon wedding! It's way over 5k (as in, almost 20k) because  it's five years later so there's some extra stuff going on in the background just about how their lives and situations and the world are now, and I always write long things even when I don't mean to. It's split between their POVs so you'll get both their views of things, though Alan's part is longer. :)

A commentary version will go up soon. And a PDF about courting and marriage. As soon as I can. I know I've been falling down on everything Patreon related for the past several MONTHS and again I can't apologize enough for that, and I am really trying to get myself back on track again from when I derailed back in March.

Comments

TrickleTappingBanana

> five-years-later story that will have Ansa and Rhet as the main characters Is this story up? I'm struggling to find it on here. Just generally, the worldbuilding in this series/universe is AMAZING. Love all the detail and thought you've put into it. The writing advice about how things should've changed by the end of the story is pretty interesting. I'll need to think about that when consuming media. I wonder if shows, etc, I haven't liked haven't had that feature but I never noticed it as a particular element contributing to, e.g., a disappointing ending.

Teromain

It isn't, unfortunately, since it hasn't been written yet! I had a lot of plans many years ago that never happened due to a lot of factors (patreon itself being horrible, many many real life issues, etc.) and so while this story is still something I do want to write, it's lost in like a 7 year backlog. Thank you! I'm really glad you like the worldbuilding - it's what I think I'm probably best at in general. I think the advice about 'things should be different' is useful for a majority of the time (not always, like if the point of your story is that things were impossible to change) but something should still have gone through a transformation - the character(s), at the very least.

Lucia Pröll

Aww, they're so adorable together :D I think I caught a small typo, though? I'm pretty sure "with the tiniest little gas" was probably supposed to be "gasp"?

Potatoe

Okay I only just started reading, but my favourite part so far is where Keyd is all like and his clothes look great and his hair shone golden and Alan's like "FUUUCK" and Keyd just keeps going with his casual description like yup this is nothing new.

Teromain

Haha yup that's pretty much how they are going to be forever

Teromain

Yep it was ! Thanks for catching that haha

Lucia Pröll

No problem ;) it just seemed a little unusual

lonealien

The story is very cute! It's funny how first impressions of Alan generally consist of a barrage of swearing. It's also a little weird that Ashley is there. I can't imagine explaining the story events to a "normal person and isn't Ashley very short? What do they think of Ashley's height?

Teromain

Alan makes the best first impressions always XD I think Ashley's first visit there was actually a choice in the poll, and that would have been much earlier than this so yeah, it is a little weird that she's suddenly there at least to a reader. Still odd for Alan too obviously . And she's about 5'4', so yeah, she looks like an actual child to most clar, and it did throw everybody for a while except for Keyd who'd obviously met her before.

Brianna

Aw Ashley teasing Alan and yet crying at his wedding. :3 I just loved how afraid they were that someone would just try something dastardly but in the end they (the clar) all came out to support their leader and the history being made.

Alex

Ahh, this was so fun to read! I was really excited to see that a portion of this was in Keyd's POV, I really liked that. I also liked the mentions of post-war work/problems to be done, like the problems with the sewer system and unemployment. Like honestly I love those little details so much, it shows how awesome and thought out this world & story is! Now I'm even more curious about the problems in clar society post-war lmfao I also really love the descriptions of Lojt not being, like, dead and gray and sad. It really comes across as being full of life and 100% different than before and I love it! It's exciting to see the change. Also, I think it's sort of funny that six years and learning a whole new language later Alan still hasn't learned how to tie the sashes, haha. That little detail made me smile. I feel like I've probably mentioned this before, but I really, really, really like the times it's come up that it would be crazy for Alan to put up with all this if all he had was a boyfriend. I love how it's mentioned that his friendships and goals/investment in the world is just as important as keeping him in the clar's world. I just feel like too many romance stories are over the top crazy unhealthy with what people withstand for romantic relationships while devaluing friendships and other things and I hateeee that noise. Seeing that Alan's old job was taken by someone else, what does he do as a job at this point? Like, what does his average day look like? I like being able to see Kir, too, and I'm glad that he and Alan maintain such a strong friendship! Even if he still seems so surprised that Alan likes him enough to still be friends with him, haha. And the brief mention of Ashley and Ansa getting along really well sound awesome/hilarious, too! But I'm glad she got a chance to be there for his wedding, and her being almost moved to tears for him was adorable. I also liked to be able to see Meleansa and her relationship to Keyd in this, too. The mention of her polishing his medallion kind of obsessively (or at least that's how I imagined it?) was really cute and kind of mom-ish too. Is the throat-singing stuff reserved mostly for special ceremonies, or is it really the only way they do singing? Other little details that I really enjoyed were the descriptions of the red banners, the description of how Keepers basically notarize things, and the mention of some clarbach coming to see the wedding. Over all this was such a fun story and I'm really glad I got to read it! It was just heartwarming and a super fun look into the future of a world/story I really love!

Teromain

Yeah Ashley would not like to admit that she would ever cry at a wedding! But she does anyway :) What really helped people being supportive was Keyd pointing out that they were back in Lojt again and therefore insinuating that he was kind of reponsible for that and asking them to respect the ceremony itself; he played a good card there.

Teromain

Yeah that’s part of the reason this story go so long, was because I felt some of those details were kind of necessary! Obviously it’s a story about their wedding but the actual atmosphere of the world five-years-post-war is pretty important too, and I didn’t want to totally ignore that. And, post-war problems and issues and stuff are pretty much the entire focus of the five-years-later story that will have Ansa and Rhet as the main characters (it would take place a few months after this story, chronologically, and explain why Rhet and Ansa aren’t even around in this story). I’m always interesting in that stuff in stories which is why I get SO disappointed by epilogues like Harry Potter and Hunger Games, that just tell you who married who and who popped out babies, not how the world they fought to save or change IS saved or changed. That’s the most interesting part! And especially with the oenclar, their entire society was practically built around supporting a military and a war and now they kind of don’t need those things anymore so what do thousands and thousands of highly trained soldiers do when the war is over (and some of them have been fighting it for like...decades upon decades)? That’s fun stuff to me and why I want to do that other story (no idea when though, auuugh) I also really hate when the relationship-trumps-all in a story, like...even if your story has aliens and magic or dragons and cat-people or whatever, the most unrealistic thing is someone going through ridiculous amounts of struggle and angst and resistance and changing their whole lives in a major unreversable way just for a relationship ONLY. Even if it’s a great relationship, if that’s the only thing spurring the person into doing what they’re doing...eek. But yeah, Alan feels useful and valueable and like he’s actually contributing to society, even if it’s his ‘adopted’ society, in a way he knows he wouldn’t have on Earth, and also really important friendships and ALSO Keyd. Which seems a lot healthier and understandable. And Kir is just like...always honored when anybody finds him worthy enough to do something important, so it’s not that he didn’t think he and Alan were good enough friends but he knows Alan has other family and is just like “ME? OUT OF EVERYONE?” the same way when he got picked to go to Uillad and was like “YOU TRUST ME TO DO THIS? WOWOWOWOW”, especially since he was basically a nothing in the military due to him knocking himself down socially on purpose. Alan’s new Day Job is a ~surprise~ XD. It’ll come up in the five-years-later story because he’ll be around a little, though neither him nor Keyd are SUPER major characters, they’re there. He’ll be in Ansa’s half the most and it’ll be pretty clear what his job is. I wished I could’ve gotten a little more of Keyd’s interactions with Rysa and Meleansa in there but the story would have turned into an actual novella so...I didn’t ahaha. But now that oenclar are repopulating Clarylon again and the military isn’t mobile all over the place, Keyd sees Meleansa more (since they both live in Lojt) and is forming a stronger relationship with her, even though they always got along well anyway but just didn’t have much chance to interact after the oenclar got spread all over. She probably is going a little mom-ish on him though now haha XD The throat singing is for special ceremonies, weddings and funerals mostly (also naming ceremonies because naming your kid is Important). They do normal singing too, there was a quick mention of it at Kir and Darban’s wedding where people were just normal dancing and singing after the ceremony. But a lot of the traditions have been preserved from clar times and that’s why they’re in Kouml and why they’re this specific type of singing, which really /isn’t/ common but pretty much all high-blooded clar are taught to do it just for these specific occasions. It exists with the clarbach too, but it’s actually used as more of performance art/theater thing and isn’t used in any kind of ceremonies or daily life. I’m glad you enjoyed the story overall! There’s going to be a commentary with it in a few days that’ll talk way more in depth about some of these things and about other things as well, endless talking XD

Kevin Wotipka

Hey, I just wanted to tell you I'm really enjoying it so far. ☺

Alex

yeah! and worlds/stories that change are the most interesting because they're that much more believable. the world is a changing place so fiction should probably reflect that lol. I never got into the hunger games (there was something that felt really forced about the books to me? I just had the hardest time even getting through the first one so I never read them all), and I feel like HP was pretty good up UNTIL the epilogue and then everything that followed just started tarnishing my whole love of it, unfortunately. :/ (this turned into a bit of a rant, sorry!) and lol I just love Alan and Kir's friendship, it just always seems so genuine and adorable. and it's good to know that Keyd gets to spend more time with Meleansa, it would be interesting to see them (re?)build their relationship. and yay, commentary! I always love your commentaries! (:

Teromain

Generally I hate writing advice because almost nothing can be applied universally to everybody, but the best piece of it I ever found was that, by the end of the story everything should be different. Things should have /happened/ and actually been changed. I think I stumbled across that about 3/4 of the way through writing this series and was like 'that is good advice and glad this story is going that way purposefully and it totally describes why I HATE the end of Harry Potter. EVERYTHING IS THE SAME except just the bad guy is gone, their society is still biased and their school is even still divided into isolated stereotypes, and we get this shit epilogue about stupidly named children, wtf was the point'. I got tired of canon HP somewhere around the middle of the 5th book and honestly kind of consider the rest of the series fanfiction quality (since I've legitimately read better fanfics that concluded the story better). And I kiiinda think the Hunger Games is overrated. The first was entertaining enough but never should have been written in 1st person, the second was '...okay sure' and the third was '????WTFFFF I READ??" The movies were better. But both series had SHITTY disappointing endings no matter what you thought of the rest of the the story -_- *could rant on this for hours lol* Alan and Kir's friendship is really fun to write. Kir is like Alan's very patient older brother, helping him with everything and super proud of all the stuff he's done and then feeling honored that Alan looks up to him. And yeah Keyd and Meleansa do sorta rebuild a relationship, not that it fell apart or anything but just...they didn't have much of a chance to see each other. There's a lot of people rebuilding relationships with their families that happens after the war (Keyd with Meleansa, Rysa with her family, and Kir FINDING his, etc.) and those would be fun things to visit in a story(ies). Hope to have the commentary up tomorrow (Sunday!)