Michelle's Journal (7/2/26) (Patreon)

Dear Journal:

Sorry I haven’t written much lately.  To be honest, not much journal-worthy has happened.  I wish I had started this journal last year.  I would’ve had plenty to write about then.  But now it’s the dog days of summer, and I haven’t felt like leaving my room, much less writing about it.

I know that’s not the point.  The point of the journal is to document my feelings, not provide a running itinerary of my life.  But that’s the problem with starting this journal over the summer.  During school, I had plenty of places to direct my feelings, but now I’m alone with them, 24/7.  

At least my conversation with Dr. Chen last week changed my mindset.  Now, instead of sulking in self-pity, I’ve been relaxing and enjoying myself.  It hasn’t changed my day much activity-wise.  I’ve still been lazy.  I’ve still been eating too much. Drinking too much.  But at least I’ve been happier doing it!

I have gotten a few things done.  I cleaned my room a few days ago, and I’ve been working on a base tan for the cruise.   Last year, I would’ve had a friend or two over to sunbathe with me, but not anymore.  Not with the way I look in a bikini. 

I was so desperate for company, I asked Jessie to join me.  I figured, at the very least, seeing my sister in a bathing suit would make me feel better about myself.  Nope.  She actually looked kind of cute.  I swear, the universe is conspiring against me.

Then, to top everything off, I broke through one of Dad’s nasty-ass deck chairs. He’s been talking about replacing them for years, but he’s too fucking tight.  Now, he has no choice.  I’ll tell him Jessie has been sunbathing.  Maybe then he’ll buy something more durable than plastic mesh and PVC!

--Michelle