Michelle's Journal (7/10/26) (Patreon)

Dear Journal:

Today was a great day. 

Until it wasn’t.

I had the whole house to myself, so after having a little oatmeal for breakfast, I decided to do some yoga.  It was quiet and peaceful, and nothing disturbed me…except for the fat rolls that bubbled over my bike shorts.  (Let’s just say, my downward dog looked like a Shar-Pei.)      

Still, I focused and made it through the entire routine.  Then I made some green tea and went to the patio to catch some rays.  Dad got some new patio furniture that’s 10X better than those cheap-ass IKEA Tinkertoys we had.  It’s a miracle those things lasted as long as they did.  Of course, Dad couldn’t resist a snarky “let’s be careful with these” when the new stuff was delivered.  Not sure why he looked at me when he said it.  I may have been the straw that broke the recliner's back, but after years of exposure to the sun and Jessie’s gargantuan ass, it was only a matter of time. 

A storm blew through last night, so the skies were clear and the temperature was comfortable.  I quickly forgot about my annoying family and started dreaming about Cabo's white-sand beaches.  It’s hard to believe our cruise is only a week away!  I’m so excited!  Another day or two in the sun and I'll have a nice base tan for the trip. 

The bad news is, I’m still about 9 pounds short of the 10 I wanted to drop.  Today certainly didn’t help.  I made a salad after coming in from sunbathing, but it wasn’t long before I was rummaging through the pantry. 

Dr. Chen says willpower is a limited resource that depletes over time. And that it will run out unless you do something to occupy your attention.  That’s the problem--for the first time in my life, I have nowhere to go and nothing to do.  He suggested hanging out with friends, but most of my friends are preparing for college.  (Which reminds me, my college orientation was supposed to be this week ☹.)  I suppose I could be like Sean and hang out with High Schoolers, but I want to look forward, not backward.  (Those Instagram pics of Sean groping Stacy Jack, who’s only 16 BTW, are about as cringy as you get.)

Dr. Chen also recommended taking up a hobby, but his examples—cooking, sewing, and jigsaw puzzles—all sucked.  What does he think this is?  The 1950s?  I like working out, another one of Dr. Chen’s suggestions, but this is a small town and most of my friends and former teammates are members of the same 24-Hour Fitness.  I go at odd hours to minimize the chance of being seen, but just last week Terri McDonald, the girl who replaced me as team captain, walked by while I was on the treadmill.  Our eyes met in the mirror, but she didn’t even slow down.  Either she didn’t recognize me, or she did and just didn’t acknowledge me.

I’m not sure which is worse.

Anyway, I haven’t been back to the gym since.  I’ve been working out at home, but it's not the same.  First of all, the only equipment we have is a mat and a pair of five-pound free weights.  Second, if I wanted a post-workout treat at the gym, I’d grab a kale smoothie from the juice bar.  At home, I grab a donut from mom’s junk food drawer.   

So, what started as a good day was sabotaged by my boredom.  I felt bad enough after raiding the pantry, then sissy brought me this caramel-covered monstrosity home from Dutch Bros.  She said it was to apologize for being a bitch on the 4th.  I didn’t want to drink it or accept her apology, but Mom made me do both. 

Now I feel sick.  Hopefully, I’ll do better tomorrow.

--Michelle