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Melia wore a smile as she finished her work in the early afternoon. Her immediate plans had all come to fruition and she was pleased. The [Garden Plots] were already serving to bolster the abbey’s grain stores, the [Moai] were providing entertainment (and hopefully scaring away the crows), and the [Greenhouse] was getting ready to start producing desert. With the addition of a [Moonwell], not only would bathing become much more enjoyable, but the water would be cleaner, tastier, and fresher. The crops would grow well, she could purify [Mooncloth], and perhaps an [Enchanter] or an [Alchemist] might find it useful in their daily routines.

Things were going too smoothly. Melia was making her way back to her den to contemplate taking a nap when a rush of…something…hit her.

Suddenly, Melia froze. Her entire body went rigid; her limbs locked up and she became like an unmoving statue. Her head whipped to the west, like an unsuspecting fish biting a hook on an unseen line, yanked toward the invasive source that demanded her attention.

Melia stared, immobile, her unseeing eyes gazing through the forest and the tree, painting a picture in her mind. Her breathing stopped, her eyes grew bloodshot, and her heart, hammering in her chest and ringing in her ears, felt like it was close to bursting.

Because somebody attacked her treasure.

Somebody dared?! They dared!

All thoughts of mirth and merriment were forgotten. Melia did not have the faculties to notice that several people around her were crying out in shock. Horns quickly sprouted from her head as her arms elongated into grotesque shapers, covered in scales and tipped with razor-sharp claws. She took a step forward, and as she did, she grew.

Melia transformed back into her original body, the great and powerful dragon. Her arms fell forward and crunched into the ground as her hands became massive claws, gouging out the earth as her tail thrashed behind her. Her snout, long and sleek and filled with terrifying teeth, snarled as flames leaked through her fanged snarl.

Who dared?

What insect dared?!

Meliastraza lifted her head on her long, powerful neck and pointed her mouth straight up into the sky.

Her lungs inflated as she sucked in air like a vortex, filling the bellows of hell itself.

Her jaws parted, her teeth bared, and she let out a howl of fury alongside a cataclysmic eruption of fire.

​

Grrrrrraaaaaaaaughhhhh!!!!!!

​

The sound that came out was more than a simple roar. Meliastraza could feel the power thrumming through her throat as magic wove itself into the sound, affecting the world around it. She could hear trees below her groan, limbs crack, and monsters flee.

It was louder than loud, stronger than strong. In truth, it wasn’t so much a sound made by a living organ so much as it was primal rage given audible force.

No other creature could ever hope to mimic such a sound, and woe unto them if they tried, for it likely would destroy them in the process.

A solid half a minute, Meliastraza incinerated the air above her. She shut down the fires, stamped the coals, and steadied her raging heart. But it would not be denied. Her lungs began inflating again as they clamored to be set free, and once more she unleashed her fury into the heavens.

​

Grrrrrraaaaaaaaughhhhh!!!!!!

​

This time, when Meliastraza tamed her inner fire, she was of clearer head. Though certainly not of a calm mind. Her wrath had boiled over into a simmering sea of vengeful spite, and with a single-minded focus, she took to the skies.

Meliastraza crouched low, pausing briefly to gather her strength before launching into the air on powerful beating wings. But she was not only gaining altitude as she climbed high where usually only clouds dwelled, but she grew in size, too.

Her normal body was huge, but she rapidly dragged her 100-foot length. 2 times, 3 times, 5 times, 10 times larger. A 1000-foot behemoth, for all the world a god among insects, hovering like a baleful deity weighing judgment upon mankind. Her eyes remained focused to the west.

On Horizon.

Meliastraza closed her outer eyes and let her inner vision guide her. She could sense the fear and panic of the insects around her, the Humans of the abbey, frightened and scrambling for shelter. They were a regrettable casualty of this; they had done nothing to earn her ire. Then, there were the insignificant, panicking masses of the castle town, scurrying around like so many ants whose hill had been kicked. For them, Meliastraza felt little pity. Somewhere, among the arrogant little puppets and paper rolls, was a cowardly little herbivore hiding in its den or warren.

A blight, a tumor which needed to be eradicated.

No, Melia thought. This isn’t right.

Melia shook her head, but she could not clear her thoughts. Rather, her thoughts were clear, but they could not be shaken from their singular obsession.

Vengeance. Justice. Eradication.

Melia wrenched her eyes open long enough to focus on her status.

​

[Enraged]

​

Well, the system wasn’t wrong.

Melia beat her massive wings, carrying her even higher, before eventually leveling out and slowly coasting forward. The world around her seemed so small, so weak, so trifling. Settlements passed below her, tiny and fragile like the surface of a microchip, houses smaller than her claw tip and roads thinner than threads. Once again, she took a deep breath, but her anger would not be denied. Her eyes slammed shut as her senses flooded her mind with new information.

Her treasures were moving. The [Feather Dusters] were gathering in Horizon. Where before, one had been in the abbey and one near the mansion, both instantly vanished and reappeared in the city. Moments later, the third, which had been gathered with her [Cat], also appeared.

The danger did not lie with them, so which of her treasures had been harmed?

The [Tiara] sparkled brightly even as it seemed to be running in circles.

A curious icon she had never really noticed, shaped like a [Cheeseburger], felt relatively unbothered.

The [Great Beacon], as always, blinded her when she dared gaze upon its glory, but otherwise was undiminished.

However, perhaps because of their proximity to the [Beacon], her [Rough Diamonds] were hard to spot. They all seemed gathered in a clump, which was good; they would be easy enough to collect, but one of them, she could not tell which, was dimming. The [Beacon] shone upon it, and some of the luster returned, but Meliastraza’s indignation flared.

They dare accost my jewels?!

Meliastraza’s gaze sharpened and she moved forward. The ground flew beneath her as she neared her inevitable approach. The miles dwindled, and with the abbey far behind her, Horizon, sitting in its peaceful valley on the bay, rose before her. It appeared like a speck in the distance, but even as she set herself down on a neighboring cliff, crushing part of a mountain that had withstood centuries of erosion, it did not grow much bigger. Now, merely a pace or two away, the “great” wall of Horizon, the bastion of Humanity, tall, imposing, and impenetrable…barely reached her ankles. Like a parking stop at a run-down shopping mall.

Meliastraza paused, lifted a foreclaw, and scratched at the surface. While the wall did not instantly crumble, she left a gouge many feet long in her wake, scarring the impervious stone. If she squinted hard enough, she could see tiny figures running along the top of the wall, though it was impossible to see their finer details unless she magnified her sight.

Meliastraza  was not given the chance. It seemed not all the insects lacked a spine.

​

[Soldiers! Guards! To the walls, repel the threat! Drive back the monster! Defend Horizon with your lives!]

​

Perhaps his spine was intact because it was his brain that was missing. Melia did not recognize the man's voice, but she understood it had been magically reinforced by the system. A genuine [Yell], bestowed upon city leaders. That meant this unknown man must be the king. She sensed a significant magical working spread across the city as a multitude of soldiers received a buff.

So, he wishes to attack me, then. He is complicit.

Meliastraza felt something small plink against her scales. She brought her head low, next to the nearest battlement, where a group of tiny figures wielding pointy objects was launching them at her. For all the good they did: Meliastraza’s health barely dropped a point or two as the projectiles broke upon her like waves in the ocean…or sand on the beach. With her snout shoved right up against the stone walls, she could smell their wonder and fear…yes, let them tremble. She took a deep breath, not to incinerate them or waste her fire on such meaningless scraps, but to amuse herself as the force of her inhalation knocked the soldiers off their feet. Though she paused and retracted her head before she could accidentally sniff one up and get something unpleasant lodged inside her sinus.

Meliastraza was about to tilt her head and bring one of her eyes level to the parapet so she could try and distinguish the tiny figures, when a second voice [Yelled] out.

​

[Countermand! Soldiers, I command you: do not throw your lives away! Abandon the walls, they are already lost! This is a foe beyond you! Do not anger her more than you already have, and you might yet live! Regroup, to me! To me!!]

​

Ho ho ho…Meliastraza squinted her eyes in delight. Her jewel was very worthy of a crown…but now was not the time to croon over her possession. No matter how majestic.

​

[What?!]

​

The man shot back. Meliastraza was interested; a light, pre-vengeance entertainment might amuse her.

​

[White Witch, you dare! Guards, seize that woman! Do not allow- ack!]

​

[Be silent, fool! Citizens, this is your queen. I beseech you: remain indoors! Barricade yourselves in your safe places! Do not venture into the streets! The [Destroyer] has come, but she is no threat to you! You have nothing to fear if you have not angered her! Royal Guard, heed my call! Your kingdom, no, Humanity has need of you! Rally to the northern garrison! I will see you there!]

​

Ahhhhh. So at last, Meliastraza had direction. She did not know exactly where (or what, if she was honest) the northern garrison was, but she shrewdly guessed it would not be where she was, in the southern part of the city. She turned her attention to the men quailing on the wall in front of her and let out a hot puff of air from her nostrils, blowing them over. They did not have the mark of the condemned upon them; they were innocent…mostly.

Meliastraza took a single step over the wall and set her first claw crunching down onto the white stone streets. The tough stones shattered beneath her, unable to withstand the weight of her glory. With her second step, she spanned entire neighborhoods, setting her claw down on a different alley, uncaring of anything trapped beneath.

More tiny things plinked harmlessly off her scales. She could feel pointy sticks, long iron rods, and even metal balls crashing into her. Not all had lost the will to fight. Meliastraza could appreciate an obedient servant, even if they served a foolish master. She did not want to erase them. She lifted her head into the sky and roared again.

Her voice shook the steers and rattled the buildings. Several streets away, something crumbled at the shock. Meliastraza took another step forward.

Where? Where are they? Who did this? Who summoned my wrath?

All the while, burning white hot in the back of her mind, was the call. The initial cause of her rage was not forgotten, nor would it be extinguished until she was fulfilled. Meliastraza did not wish to destroy the entire city; it was beautiful, a work of art in its own right. Though she had no desire to own it, she was fond of it, as was her jewel.

“Raztara, no!” Called out a voice.

Meliastraza did not recognize this voice, nor was it magically amplified to be heard throughout the entire city. Which meant that it was strong on its own merit, and a very tiny part of Meliastraza was curious to see what it could do.

“Malorion, we must defend the city! It is our duty!”

Ah, another voice. Meliastraza twisted her head, finally locating the mysterious duo. Below her, flying upward high above the rooftops of Horizon, were two tiny bats. Or at least, they looked like bats to her. They were deep red, and Meliastraza understood that they were dragons.

Not lesser dragons, like juveniles or whelps, and not some mindless monster spawned from mana. These were fully grown, menacing, adult Red Dragons, a pair of [Ruby Drakes].

They were adorable.

​

[Raztara Ariad, the Valiant]

​

Level: 946

Class: [Ambassador]

​

[Malorion Ariad, Earthshatterer]

​

Level: 959

Class: [Ambassador]

​

Were they, perhaps, a couple? Meliastraza was intrigued. She knew very little about dragons, despite being one herself. Though comparing the two as the same species was a poor jest. The two Red Dragons flapped ceaselessly into the sky, where they proceeded to hover around her face like a fly trying to land on an exploded plate of food. Though the they were much, much larger than any of the people on the streets, to Meliastraza, they were hardly as large as her smallest scale.

The two dragons screeched at her, biting and clawing and belching fire wherever they could, but Meliastraza was not so much as singed. It wasn’t until one of the two flew straight into her eye and drove its pointy tail straight into it that she even moved.

“Gahhh!” Meliastraza bellowed, blinking. She squinted, adjusted her gaze so she could follow the small nuisance, and glared.

“Whelp! Begone!”

Meliastraza belched a gout of flame, sending a fireball careening through the air. The two small bats flapped frantically, but one could not escape. The ball struck it and exploded.

The flames quickly fizzled out, and Meliastraza watched passively as the dragon fell from the sky. She could see it was unconscious, but still breathing. Perhaps, if it survived the fall, it would learn. The other dragon, terrified, spared her a glance before darting after its mate.

​

By now, the streets were empty. On occasion, Meliastraza would stop, bring her about low, and sniff an alley threateningly. Familiar scents were trapped amidst the cacophony of filth and noise, and it was hard to pick them apart. She was growing irritated. Where was her treasure? Where was the thief?! Meliastraza craned her head back and let her displeasure be known.

Eventually, she made her way to where the [Beacon] and the [Crown] were huddled together, and she could sense the rest of her treasure was there as well. It was a squat, square building made of sturdy stone, with signs indicating multiple lower levels. Meliastraza frowned. Her body was not meant for small places, and anything below the surface was problematic. She could dig, but she ran the risk of destroying everything with a swipe of her claws.

Once again, she lowered herself to the ground, bringing her face and her nostrils as close as she could to her target. Yes. A deep inhale told her that this was where her treasure hid. Now, how to summon it out? Meliastraza tilted her head back and let out a final cry.

The door bolted open and several insects scurried away. She sniffed each of them as they passed, though none of them held the scent of a thief. Meliastraza roared again.

A few stragglers stumbled out on shaky legs, but they were insignificant. None of them were who she was looking for. She could smell them! They were in there, hiding! Along with her treasure! Why wouldn’t they come out?! If they were so determined to hide under their sunless rock, she would have to come in!

Meliastraza could sense that the upper floors were lifeless. Of all the things she could smell, living Humans was not one. She stuffed her snout into the side of the building and broke apart the stone like a crumbling castle made of sand. She was careful not to bring everything down, but she was determined to reach the bottom.

Several yells and cries reached her ears from behind, but she ignored them. Soldiers, weak but plentiful. She was not concerned. She could feel them scratching against her hide, but their weapons were useless. She was about to stick her snout back into the building when an attack actually mattered.

Meliastraza raised her head. She wasn’t hurt, not particularly, but unlike the culmination of all the other attacks so far, this one made a noticeable change to her health bar. Perhaps a single percent, but by comparison, that was a lot. She turned her head, and her eye widened fractionally as she stared at what she saw.

​

[Moeldywn Eutevor, the White Witch]

​

Level: 1400

Class: [White Witch]

​

Meliastraza shook her head. This was no time to play. She roared in greeting before turning back to the ruined garrison.

​

“Meliastraza, look at me!” Moeldywn commanded. “This isn’t you. Whatever happened, let us talk about it!”

Talk? What was there to say? All she needed to do was punish an interloper, and the world would be set right.

“Don’t you growl at me, you oaf! Use your words!”

Meliastraza flicked her tail, and she felt a few buildings fall over.

“If that’s how you want to play it,” Moeldywn warned, and Meliastraza could feel a gathering of substantial magic. She had just excavated the entirety of the upper levels when the attack slammed into her.

She did not move, per se; her body was too huge to be rocked by a mortal spell, but the effect was like a child shoving up against a sleeping cow. She felt something. Again, she turned to face the tiny people scurrying around on the ground and roared. Half of them fell over…but a surprising number held firm. Moeldywn, standing in the center of all of them, had her arms outstretched and 17 icicles rotated in the air above her. Only, each one was the size of a horse. To Meliastraza in her current state, that was still insignificant, but the attack that hit her actually penetrated into one of her softer scales. She peered down at the side of her belly, where an ice-lance was sticking out from her side. The hole had already closed with a minimal amount of blood, and the ice itself was fully melted from her body’s extreme heat.

“I’ve got your attention, yes?” Moeldywn shouted. “What are you looking for, Meliastraza? How can I get you to leave? Preferably without destroying my city?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Another voice said. One of the [Feather Dusters] appeared, the one holding a battleaxe. “Lethia is bringing them now.”

“I thought as much,” Moeldywn said. “Layalee, keep her occupied so she doesn’t bury them alive!”

“Mistress,” the [Duster] said, “I apologize. Come back to us!”

And with that, the woman activated a full rotation of skills and unleashed an onslaught upon her. Meliastraza simply stood there, conflicted. She knew these people, she loved these people, but she had work to do. It wasn’t time to play.  She watched the [Berserker] wind up and execute a flawless [Bladestorm], the sparks from her axe ricocheting off her scales with every stroke, lighting up the courtyard like stars. The woman chained together a flurry of attacks, lasting nearly a minute, and when it was over, she was spent.

“I’m sorry, Mistress. I was not enough.”

Meliastraza wanted to roar, but a commotion commanded her attention. From the pile of rubble, the other two [Dusters] emerged, carrying with them a pile of [Jewels].

And one.

Single.

Thief.

Meliastraza’s pupils dilated as she recognized the smell. Yes, this was the filth that dared. She parted her jaws. She gathered her power. She started channeling her magic.

“Meliastraza!” Moeldywn shouted.

Her breath grew hot. Blistering. The air warped around her tongue as heat shimmered around it.

“Meliastraza!!!” Moeldywn shouted.

Something began to crumble in the dragon’s mind. She did not unleash the black death upon the criminal before her. She knew that voice. It was a friend. But the enemy was in front of her.

“Meliastraza, this isn’t you! Has this one man truly deserved the wrath of the sovereign gods?”

No, a tiny voice in the back of her mind spoke up.

But he dared.

Meliastraza brought her face to the ground. With her bared fangs so close to the tiny creature, she could no longer see him, but she could smell him. She opened her mouth and roared.

The man’s terrified screams were like music to her ears. She inhaled his fear like an invigorating incense. She roared again.

The man’s screams devolved into mindless whimpers, and she swore she heard a small, familiar voice cry out in disgust.

“She literally scared the shit out of him. Can’t we do something? We need to do something.”

“You were the one he stabbed,” said the [Beacon]. “Are you sure you want to let him get away?”

“He’s not going anywhere. Besides, if the dragon roars again, he might shit himself to death.”

“Meliastraza, look at me!” Moeldywn commanded.

Melia turned around.

“Mellllody?” She asked. For some reason, it was very hard to talk. Like her tongue would not obey, and forcing it to create words was a difficult chore.

“You’re in there,” Moeldywn breathed a sigh of relief. “Oh, thank the gods! Listen quick. You set the whole kingdom on edge. The entire city is in a panic. You need to leave, and you need to be seen flying away. I’m going to attack you. I need to chase you off.”

“Waiiit,” Melia hissed, narrowing her eyes. “You already attttacked meee.”

“Yes-yes-yes, for all the good it did,” she waved an impatient hand. “I dumped a quarter of my mana into your fat hide and it didn’t leave a scratch.”

“Hmmmmmm,” Melia nodded. She turned back to her friends.

The problem was…she was coming to her senses. The entirety of the last…however long it had been, since she had flown here from the abbey, was fresh in her mind. It wasn’t like somebody else took over. She wasn’t controlled, and it wasn't somebody else piloting her body. She was simply overwhelmed by a nature she could never prepare for, something entirely alien to a rational human on earth. Her needs, her quirks, parts of her personality…they were feral, wild in nature.

And she was ashamed.

Melia had not seen any of the people she had brushed aside on her rampage here as people. She had not cared in the slightest about their fate. And now that she was thinking clearly, she honestly could not tell…if she had killed any of them. When she set out, she had a single-minded goal: to eradicate the person who had harmed her friends, and even that was an overreaction to the extreme. Her only saving thought was that she hadn’t yet killed him…even if she left him stewing in his own juices.

Melia considered Moeldywn’s words. Even if it was impossible for the city to “defeat” the [Destroyer of Worlds], it would be good for them to see it fly away. Yes, Melia needed to leave. And perhaps, bury herself in a very large hole from which she would never return. But first, she needed to secure what was rightfully hers. She lifted a claw and pointed it at the tiny gathering of collectible treasure at her feet. Magic formed at the very tip, and in a flash, a prismatic bubble appeared around them all. She could hear them gasp, but they were safe inside her barrier. She reached over, secured the bubble in her claws, and clutched it tightly to her chest. Then, as magic and spears and arrows all began resuming their assault on her, she flapped her wings, took to the sky, and headed for the ocean.

​

Author's Note:

Hello, I didn't want to leave last chapter hanging for too long, so this is another Sunday chapter. I hope it finds you well.

Once again, I'm not entirely happy with this chapter, though for different reasons than the last. I've had this moment floating around in my mind for a long time now and there were many different ways it could have gone...and I worry that I've done none of them justice.There are several points I wanted to present. First, Melia is the happy-go-lucky little gnome, and Meliastraza is the terrifying dragon. They are not different people, but I use the terms differently to portray how she acts. That being said, Melia gets sometimes gets overwhelmed by her draconic instincts and doesn't know how to process them. Since Melia does not really know how what to do with how a dragon values its hoard, she has no filter, and since somebody tried to kill her friend, she went 0-100 instantly. She [Enraged], which is something often found in MMOs when a party takes too long to kill a boss and, essentially, they become unkillable and a party wipe is imminent.

The next point is that after she enrages, she is much larger than normal. While she would look mostly the same at her normal size, she's simply too big to be real, and less people would be concerned with her actual looks as much as, "oh god, giant dragon, I'm gonna die."

The third point is that, in this state, Melia isn't thinking clearly, but she isn't mindless either.

Here lies the problem I had: I think I had too many thoughts swirling around for what I felt needed to be conveyed in this chapter, without making this encounter into a 12-part saga. My mind went back and forth about many small details.

Do I stretch out the first encounter where she lands on Horizon's outer wall? Is that one paragraph? Is it two? More? How about the reactions of the guards forced to fight her? Do I need to include multiple POVs from all the relevant characters? Do I need buildup from inside the jail cell where the team are waiting? Do I need to follow Melody around the city as she runs around trying to put out fires (some literally and some metaphorical)?

I didn't want to break this into multiple POVs. I wanted to give a sense of growing irritation and frantic searching on Melia's end, and devastation on the other end. I'm not sure I succeeded.

As always, thank you very much for taking the time to read. As this is dropping on a Sunday, this should bring us up to 14 chapters ahead of Royal Road, but I wanted to be genuine with my Patreon audience and say this: please give your honest thoughts on this chapter. Does it work? Does it need a rewrite? Do I need to scrap it and make it longer? I'm willing to delete this whole chapter and try again, but if I do that, I'll probably post the reformed version on Tuesday instead of something new.

Thanks again!

Comments

DecaDeca

I think you're stressing out about the chapter because it didn't get on the page how you had it in your mind, but this felt like a fine chapter reading it. Meliastraza's perspective was always going to diminish the extent of what her presence is doing, because she has such a high-up and limited view of the entire event. Based on how you've written Melia doing crazy things in the past, I imagine the impact of this event would be felt more in how the world reacts to it in future chapters, because you've always portrayed Melia as missing the smaller details of how her actions affect others. If you wanted to include someone else's POV, I think it would be a great way to portray the scale of Meliastraza descending on the kingdom and the confusing nature of the two leaders [Yell]ing back and forth conflicting commands. The 'thief', one of the dragon ambassadors, or even just a common soldier commanded to attack her could all be interesting points of view if you wanted to write one.

Kai

I honestly really liked it! I loved how Melody got through to her and how fast she got her team back and the look into how her draconic instincts see all of them

TheBotler

I actually think this chapter did a fine job of conveying what you wanted to. And sets up some potentially interesting interactions for a lot of the characters, just because something is a casual slice of life doesn't mean there can't be moments of conflict or hardship. I think you are doing great with this and I look forward to the next chapter.

Book-Wyrm

hehehehehehehehehheheh love it!!!!!

TheLostGolem

I think the chapter was really really good! I liked it a lot. I don't think it needs more added to it. I forget what the term is, but I feel like you left enough unsaid while saying enough. The king is obviously going to be scared. The city might be slightly on fire. Hopefully the 2 dragon ambassadors are fine, though they might be a bit upset about what happened and I'd imagine the dragon kingdom is going to be a bit upset at the human king for stealing the treasure of the biggest and most fearsome dragon on the planet. I'd say keep it. Maybe give us a chapter about the aftermath of the whole thing from the POV of Moeldywn if you want to expound on it more or do one from the POV of the dragon ambassadors (I think that would be neat) but I don't think it needs any rewriting. I like it a lot as is.

Paratus

So Beacon = Brandy Rough Jewels = Sunrise Tiara = Melody Cat = Her mount Feather Dusters = Retainers So the big question is.. [Cheeseburger]? lol

Terminus Sol

Agreed on all points. Author did well, and it would absolutely be interesting to get a pov chapter from a witness. We've had no actual interaction with other dragons outside of the feral one, and they otherwise seem to *live in a society* so that could be an interesting perspective to explore.

Idiot Pigeon

This was a great chapter the stomach anxiety that I got from reading it was just right amount, it then resolved at the right beat in the chapter too.

TheLostGolem

Maybe she has an Icon for the cows now?

Idiot Pigeon

I guess that would be the chef, no?

PrometheusDarkflame

A curious icon she had never really noticed, shaped like a [Cheeseburger], felt relatively unbothered. > Penny? Heh. The mikes dwindled, and with the abbey far behind her > miles Tho the they were much > though they Melia considered Moeldywn’s words. Even if it was impossible for the city to “defeat” the [Destroyer of Worlds], it would be good for them to see it fly away. > I know that this is still the best solution but they *do* realise that this is only going to embolden that absolutely moronic sack of stupidity sitting on the throne, right? Okay, so, feedback. Just off the bat, I don’t think this chapter was bad, nor do I think you need to rewrite it. Of course that might change depending on how you do the reactions next chapter but so far it’s mostly fine. That being said, I *do* think you can improve it a bit and since you asked for feedback I’ll try to be detailed. The first and most notable issue that I can see is that Melia is in a bit of a weird spot where she reads as both far too cognisant and also not really intelligent at the same time. Even if her instincts are taking over, the way her thoughts are shown is the same as they are normally so it reads like she’s disassociated, rather than ‘out of control’. Maybe that’s what you were going for but it just seems a bit off somehow and feels like her thoughts so be a little more… foggy, for lack of a better word. Second, it was sort of hinted at the very start of the chapter where Melia woke up after making the aether line but it sounded like she considers the children in the abbey as pseudo-treasures, even if of the lowest tier. Also the Abbey is her lair. With that in mind, it seems very odd that her instincts don’t try to prevent damage to the abbey or risk to the kids. Maybe change it a little so she either jumps as far as she can away before transforming or she sort of fights with herself to minimise damage at the start? Just seems a bit off with what we’ve seen so far. Third, and far less important, is that a lot of the reactions from the defenders seem a little… odd? Maybe Melia is just not noticing it but I would have expected a lot more screaming and a lot less stabbing the massive [world boss] with sticks. Fourth—and these are getting increasingly minor—but it seems a little odd for Melody and Melia to have their conversation at the end so out in the open. Again, not that there’s necessarily a better option but maybe Melia could notice Melody throwing up a silence spell or such? Fifth and last, it was a bit off that neither of the dragons seems to place importance on Melia being [The Destroyer of Worlds] herself. They acknowledged that she was incredibly dangerous, sure, but neither showed that they recognised her title or power *as a dragon specifically.* Considering she is THE dragon, it feels like that should have been a thing they commented on, even in passing. All that said, still a good chapter, I just figured I’d be more specific since you did ask for feedback. Also I know from personal experience that having a bunch of relatively minor but specific stuff pointed out can help with the whole ‘author brain screaming about the chapter being bad’ thing. Oh, and I really hope we get to see this from a few other perspectives either next chapter or the one after. Namely the Headmaster, the ambassador dragons, Melody and maybe the abbey kids, the bishop and Penny for good measure? Just a spread of people who know Melia in various ways and either got a reality check of her true power or (like Penny, the Headmaster and Melody) got a hint at how terrifying it is to be against her, while knowing how lucky they are to be on her side the rest of the time. The one I want to see most though is the ambassador dragons because I suspect they are going to react rather interestingly to seeing the person who is basically dragon-Jesus if Jesus was known for being able to put out the sun on a whim instead of giving out free fish. Dragon-Shiva? Dragon-Wukong? You get the idea. Thanks for the chapter!

TheLostGolem

I totally agree. A POV chapter on the aftermath that gives us a view of draconic society would be really nice to have!

PrometheusDarkflame

Pretty sure it’s Penny, yeah. If Midna wasn’t already the [Cat] then I would have guessed it was a Can I Haz Cheezeburgers reference but yeah, Penny.

Onean

I think sticking with Melia's PoV all the way through until the end of the event is a good call. Interrupting it with other PoVs would run the risk of going against your intentions of showing Melia being overwhelmed by her instincts is still the same person, making it easier to think it's a larger personality change. DecaDeca has a good point about it being the reactions after events that you've used for other non-Sunshine/Melody PoVs, and I think that'd be the better call here, too.

Iron454

I like it as it is.

Thronedplatypus

THANK FOR THE CHAPTER!!!!!! Also i would love to see a few POV from people and see how they react

TheLostGolem

I disagree. I don't think it will embolden the king at all. He just watched his entire army try to take down Melia and they did nothing. From his POV, the reason she went away is because of Moeldywn. Nothing else worked. So he'll basically have to listen to her or she won't save him next time.'

PrometheusDarkflame

The chef in Horizon who Melia both knew from the game a century ago and more recently taught how to make the Nostalgia toasties.

Foxxy

Growing bigger after the 100ft long seemed like a surprise but it makes sense in hindsight, we already saw her get bigger (gnome to dwarf height iirc) so it makes sense that bigger dragon turns into giant dragon. Also in regards to PoV switches I think it is better to maintain this chapter as 1 PoV but having some switches in future chapters, personally would like to see one of the "whelps" PoV

Alexander

Excellent Chapter. I gues she will have todo some "beeing a Dragon" training sessions. So as not to go full feral every time someone stabs her friends. Maybe even ask dragons for advice?

Sky Cat

Ngl, i think this arc is probably my favorite, although i am a bit worried about the aftermath of her rampage. Knowing Melia however, shes probably gonna feel so bad she rebuilds the city 50 times better than it was.

agr701

Overall, the chapter is good and I think it works well to convey what you intended. Personally, I’d like to see a bit more of a reaction from the ambassadors given who and what she is, but that can be addressed in another chapter. Just one detail, you mention that Lamenia is the [Retainer] with Melody but if I recall correctly, the axe wielding [Berserker] is Layalee.

Brian P.

Well, the “world boss” clearly just kidnapped the [Saint]. The king might not be emboldened but some morons might be.

PrometheusDarkflame

I mean… this guy is clearly a delusional moron. Who’s to say that he won’t interpret “the dragon retreated once she got what she wanted, completely unharmed” as “my kingdom drove off the [destroyer of worlds], which means *I* drove off the [destroyer of worlds]!”

MindHopper

I think you hit all the points you were aiming for, the pacing in particular was good, no need to stretch anything. Also this was not how I imagined her first encounter with other dragons lol, I hope we'll get more soon

Dee Elle Writes

you're exactly right. Thank you, fixed! I sometimes have a hard time not calling all the retainers "Lamenia" despite technically none of their names actually being spelled that way. It's a reference for me, because it a name from a story I wrote a long time ago that won't ever see the light of day, and it sometimes slips out :)

TheLostGolem

Huh.... Ya know. You make a great point there. The guy is clearly an idiot. Soo... maybe after this debacle, Moeldywn takes back control over the kingdom...

Paratus

Kinda sad Jonathan at the bank didn't make the cut since he was her preferred banker every time. =P

Dee Elle Writes

Awwww…I didn’t even think about him! Maybe he’d be a [Small Pile of Coins] or something

Paratus

I'm rereading it, and chap 52 kinda implies it: She was older than she had been in the game, and like Jonathan at the bank or Penny in her restaurant, Moeldywn seemed even more resistant to the march of time.

W

Slight typo at the beginning of the chapter, I don't think the greenhouse was making desert.

Lessgently

While I understand Melia is happy-go-lucky, I think I would have preferred seeing her let loose at least once to properly get the point across. The man who stabbed Jessica needs to die, imo. I also remember that the dragon who attacked the abbey had a fear aura? That was a tiny dragon as well. Melia's fear aura would be so overwhelming that average guards and what not wouldn't even be able to function or properly poke at her in my mind. There is LITTERALLY nothing they can do. Aura or buffs from a king/queen/capitan or not. The power gap is just that large from several thousand levels + and Enrage.

Edward Ravenbear

I honestly do not think she went to far. I would react pretty much the same is someone attack my friends or family. So please do not guilt trip her. It was a understandable reaction.

Erik Hansen

Only problem I have with this chapter is the different scales referenced for Melia vs Horizon/dragons/streets/cliffs don't make sense to me. I can't see her walking on any street if she is 1000x larger and the city walls barely comes up her legs.

Dee Elle Writes

So in my brain, it’s like a person standing over a city built of legos. Each foot takes up an entire road, but she can straddle entire city blocks between her legs and each foot is in a different street

Erik Hansen

That is what I thought you were going for. I still feel like her feet should be too large for the streets if she really does tower over a fantasy capitol cities wall or a full dragon is only the size of one of her scales.

Bramble

It kind of sounds like she did/is already planning on it.